float___what am i going to do about you?
see i am fiery red, he is melancholic purple. i am deep blue seas, moving & changing, unpredictable, yet alluring in my pseudo-stillness. enigmatic in my depths, he is deep hazel, strong & sturdy, a quiet one amoung the trees. they say witches have grey eyes & mine look like gun metal.
languid fluid not so much. little boat on an open ocean floating & a freak storm could tip the craft. smash it & destroy it against the rocks. smooth sailing is no garuntee. silent at times, almost translucent glass, looking down at you looking up at me, you look so good underwater, i can see coral, almost the colour of your eyes that shine with love for me.
i am the ocean, i am fiery red.
we are the dreams of lovers, acrid surreal in a depth unknown, we writhe & scream & tear into each other, a storm in the southern hemisphere, we take the world & leave it saturated & drowning in our wake. joint scars blend into each other creating a narritive tying us together inexplicitly. there for the touching when words can't comprehend & eyes don't really want to see, we'll block it out to make it easier maybe, but they merge & make a path leading from me to him & back again.
we stand in a line up, waiting to see if the victim can point us out of the many others, fiery red & melancholic purple holding hands, waiting for the onslaught. i knew there would be casulties when we got started again, alas these things cause a mess i wish i could stop, because really other people getting hurt for desires of the heart & thats not really very fair.
gungrey & hazel catch each others attention across a crowded room & everything else stops, colours & shapes & voices blend & it's me&him¬hing else. we are the two puzzle pieces that drop out the box already fitting together. i don't need him but i want him & love him. soulmates? i'm never too sure, it seems too romantic (even for me). we fall apart & fall back together again.
our lives intwined together, sweeping around, stories to tell the others when they ask. limbs tangled like vines. love like dust & roses, cigarrette ash & spiders, he wraps a web that traps me & i stay stuck fast. i want days of cuddles in bed & rolling over & under each other laughing.
these days i'm never sure where i am. i sleep with my future that screams at me in the morning. i work hard at keeping my head floating, pushing obscene & angry thoughts delivered by the actors who were asked to leave to the back of my mind. i take each day as it comes, slowly, ever so slowly, because if i end up doing too much i'll lose control & blow myself into depression again, because we all knowmedication can only do so much.
i pull the strawberry laces tighter & look at my scarredskin. i do not remember the last time i hurt myself, weeks/months ago? i do not know & i do not know if i miss it or not. & thats wrong&scary, although i remember the moment of silence & stillness of when my skin splits, just before i bleed & i think i need to find a moment like that somewhere else that doesn't cause damage. red angry lines that don't seem to be fading, a constant reminder of where i've been, but i'm not too phased.
& then something hits me like a ton of bricks & suddenly, i'm thrown around & i need an answer to a question. & suddenly eveything i wrote makes me feel rubbish & somethging is eating away at me & i feel terrible & awful & i don't think i can do this. i'm shaking & on the verge of tears & times moved wrong & things don't make sense & i'm scared & need to hurt.
languid fluid not so much. little boat on an open ocean floating & a freak storm could tip the craft. smash it & destroy it against the rocks. smooth sailing is no garuntee. silent at times, almost translucent glass, looking down at you looking up at me, you look so good underwater, i can see coral, almost the colour of your eyes that shine with love for me.
i am the ocean, i am fiery red.
we are the dreams of lovers, acrid surreal in a depth unknown, we writhe & scream & tear into each other, a storm in the southern hemisphere, we take the world & leave it saturated & drowning in our wake. joint scars blend into each other creating a narritive tying us together inexplicitly. there for the touching when words can't comprehend & eyes don't really want to see, we'll block it out to make it easier maybe, but they merge & make a path leading from me to him & back again.
we stand in a line up, waiting to see if the victim can point us out of the many others, fiery red & melancholic purple holding hands, waiting for the onslaught. i knew there would be casulties when we got started again, alas these things cause a mess i wish i could stop, because really other people getting hurt for desires of the heart & thats not really very fair.
gungrey & hazel catch each others attention across a crowded room & everything else stops, colours & shapes & voices blend & it's me&him¬hing else. we are the two puzzle pieces that drop out the box already fitting together. i don't need him but i want him & love him. soulmates? i'm never too sure, it seems too romantic (even for me). we fall apart & fall back together again.
our lives intwined together, sweeping around, stories to tell the others when they ask. limbs tangled like vines. love like dust & roses, cigarrette ash & spiders, he wraps a web that traps me & i stay stuck fast. i want days of cuddles in bed & rolling over & under each other laughing.
these days i'm never sure where i am. i sleep with my future that screams at me in the morning. i work hard at keeping my head floating, pushing obscene & angry thoughts delivered by the actors who were asked to leave to the back of my mind. i take each day as it comes, slowly, ever so slowly, because if i end up doing too much i'll lose control & blow myself into depression again, because we all knowmedication can only do so much.
i pull the strawberry laces tighter & look at my scarredskin. i do not remember the last time i hurt myself, weeks/months ago? i do not know & i do not know if i miss it or not. & thats wrong&scary, although i remember the moment of silence & stillness of when my skin splits, just before i bleed & i think i need to find a moment like that somewhere else that doesn't cause damage. red angry lines that don't seem to be fading, a constant reminder of where i've been, but i'm not too phased.
& then something hits me like a ton of bricks & suddenly, i'm thrown around & i need an answer to a question. & suddenly eveything i wrote makes me feel rubbish & somethging is eating away at me & i feel terrible & awful & i don't think i can do this. i'm shaking & on the verge of tears & times moved wrong & things don't make sense & i'm scared & need to hurt.