great start of the week!
yea its been a pretty shitty start of the week! and just think its only tuesday!! yessa... :-/
Im so depressed and it seems no one cares at all... and thats the worst feeling in the world... lately i have felt why live?? everything in this world that i truly care for have either left me or something tragic has happened and i do not have it anymore...
Everyone in the world that i truly care about is leaving me and i dont kno how to deal with it... why me?!? what have i done to deal with soo many deaths in my life and im only 18 and i have experienced 5 people in my life that i have depended on pass away.. and now one more... my aunt..i dont kno what to do... i dont kno what i am goin to do without her in my life... shes hte only one left in this world i can talk to..
so yea people always believe in guardian angels and god bullshit...but its just a bunch of bullshit... why would god or whomever u believe in be takin all the people in the world i care about?!? thats pretty shitty if u ask me... i mean i can see a couple people in ur life but y EVERYONE i have?? y everyone?!? does he want me to be miserable?! is that what he wants cuz if it is its workin.. im pretty fucked up.. im depressed, miserable, crying myself to sleep... cuz i dont kno what to do... why even live anymore?! what do i have to live for??
and the one person in my life who should be the most involved in this and should be the one to comfort me the most is not... and its horrible... there to worry about lookin like a dipshit to someone there tryin to be friends with... which is ok to an extent but not to the point where they wont talk to me at all... and really has no idea whats goin on... pretty fuckin shitty if u ask me!
The only one i have right now tryin to help me somewhat through this is my bestest friend in the world nikki... nikki~ i dont kno where i would be with out you right now... i seriously seriously dont.... girl i love you seriously we're gonna be those little old ladies who go everyweher together and go to grocery shoppin together and when they ask how we are we're gonna say "we're delicious" hehe
so yea i wonder what the rest of teh week will bring hopefully something good but yet again prolly not
Im so depressed and it seems no one cares at all... and thats the worst feeling in the world... lately i have felt why live?? everything in this world that i truly care for have either left me or something tragic has happened and i do not have it anymore...
Everyone in the world that i truly care about is leaving me and i dont kno how to deal with it... why me?!? what have i done to deal with soo many deaths in my life and im only 18 and i have experienced 5 people in my life that i have depended on pass away.. and now one more... my aunt..i dont kno what to do... i dont kno what i am goin to do without her in my life... shes hte only one left in this world i can talk to..
so yea people always believe in guardian angels and god bullshit...but its just a bunch of bullshit... why would god or whomever u believe in be takin all the people in the world i care about?!? thats pretty shitty if u ask me... i mean i can see a couple people in ur life but y EVERYONE i have?? y everyone?!? does he want me to be miserable?! is that what he wants cuz if it is its workin.. im pretty fucked up.. im depressed, miserable, crying myself to sleep... cuz i dont kno what to do... why even live anymore?! what do i have to live for??
and the one person in my life who should be the most involved in this and should be the one to comfort me the most is not... and its horrible... there to worry about lookin like a dipshit to someone there tryin to be friends with... which is ok to an extent but not to the point where they wont talk to me at all... and really has no idea whats goin on... pretty fuckin shitty if u ask me!
The only one i have right now tryin to help me somewhat through this is my bestest friend in the world nikki... nikki~ i dont kno where i would be with out you right now... i seriously seriously dont.... girl i love you seriously we're gonna be those little old ladies who go everyweher together and go to grocery shoppin together and when they ask how we are we're gonna say "we're delicious" hehe
so yea i wonder what the rest of teh week will bring hopefully something good but yet again prolly not