Rare entry
Well I went home this weekend. My mother is going fucking crazy trying to get the plans for the addition through county. But that is just what she does, freak out over something when nobody is around to help her. Please don't let me go down the same path.
Home was just what I needed. I needed the confirmation of what is important to me. Biology? yeah, well, some of it is pretty cool. But goddamn, I've got a gift when it comes to animals, horses in particular. I want to educate myself on that; read up on horse psychology and physiology. Read more and become a better rider and trainer. I want to go to farrier school and learn how to be a natural trimmer. I want to work with the BLM and manage mustangs. I want to live somewhere I can go galloping off down a trail and not run into fences or people.
All this Stanford education, 9 and a half quarters, has been pretty good. I've learned a lot, struggled more, and, despite however poor by GPA is, I'll graduate with a BS in biology from Stanford. I can get a somewhat good job working in a lab. But, fuck, that isn't what I want. And I don't want to go right into vet school, because I am not certain that is what I want to do. I want to be with horses, and work with them, for a while, not running from case to case, too tired to own horses of my own.
Damn, I've had a horse for almost 12 years, and I finally "found" my seat this weekend. I am finally becoming an active rider and trying to move with the horse. In balance with the horse. It makes such a difference, god it was so wonderful this weekend to be riding and think "this is it." This is how to ride. No bouncing up and down while trotting, in time with the horse, standing in the stirrups perfectly balanced. God it was better than sex. And I know what good sex is.
So that's it. Fuck the human race, I am working with horses. I am so much happier when I am doing that. If only my mother weren't so crazy, I'd consider living at home after I graduate.
Home was just what I needed. I needed the confirmation of what is important to me. Biology? yeah, well, some of it is pretty cool. But goddamn, I've got a gift when it comes to animals, horses in particular. I want to educate myself on that; read up on horse psychology and physiology. Read more and become a better rider and trainer. I want to go to farrier school and learn how to be a natural trimmer. I want to work with the BLM and manage mustangs. I want to live somewhere I can go galloping off down a trail and not run into fences or people.
All this Stanford education, 9 and a half quarters, has been pretty good. I've learned a lot, struggled more, and, despite however poor by GPA is, I'll graduate with a BS in biology from Stanford. I can get a somewhat good job working in a lab. But, fuck, that isn't what I want. And I don't want to go right into vet school, because I am not certain that is what I want to do. I want to be with horses, and work with them, for a while, not running from case to case, too tired to own horses of my own.
Damn, I've had a horse for almost 12 years, and I finally "found" my seat this weekend. I am finally becoming an active rider and trying to move with the horse. In balance with the horse. It makes such a difference, god it was so wonderful this weekend to be riding and think "this is it." This is how to ride. No bouncing up and down while trotting, in time with the horse, standing in the stirrups perfectly balanced. God it was better than sex. And I know what good sex is.
So that's it. Fuck the human race, I am working with horses. I am so much happier when I am doing that. If only my mother weren't so crazy, I'd consider living at home after I graduate.