You gotta have friends...
So tonight I saw Dan Silverman AND Hannah Mormer. It was the most amazing thing. It was soooo wonderful. We talked, listened to Israeli music, drank coffee and smoked hookah. How could life get any better? It was so great to know that even though I don't see these people all the time, they will always be there and we still have such a wonderful connection after everything we have been through. I realized how many cool people there really were on EIE...and how stupid I was to not get to know many of them. I didn't know Hannah very well, but being with her tonight has made me realize what a cool person she is. Dan Silverman still rocks my world, always have and always will. I'm glad I am good friends with him.
They talked about wanting to go to Israel next year and be in ulpan. Gosh that sounds sooo appealing to me. It's so hard because its like I'm forced to go to college because its the thing that you should do after high school. But as I think about it even more...I just don't want to go to college. It's not that I dont' want to learn, because I really really do. I have so many issues that I need to deal with within myself, and I feel as if I want to continue to find myself and what I need in life. I want to get to know myself because I feel that I still have a lot to learn. I know that college will be a way to find myself, but I'm so afraid that I just won't find a place for me, and I am so scared to be confronted with people and meet so many people and that I won't be accepted and liked. It's just my insecurities biting me in the ass. But I'm scared that I won't get into Brandeis and that I won't be happy anywhere else. It's all stuff that I still need to think about in my mind...because this whole transition is so overwhelming and scary. I know my parents will NEVER allow me to go to Israel for college, or ulpan...because I won't come home. But I just want to find a place that will truly make me happy, and when I was in Israel I was the happiest I have ever been.
Life's tough.
They talked about wanting to go to Israel next year and be in ulpan. Gosh that sounds sooo appealing to me. It's so hard because its like I'm forced to go to college because its the thing that you should do after high school. But as I think about it even more...I just don't want to go to college. It's not that I dont' want to learn, because I really really do. I have so many issues that I need to deal with within myself, and I feel as if I want to continue to find myself and what I need in life. I want to get to know myself because I feel that I still have a lot to learn. I know that college will be a way to find myself, but I'm so afraid that I just won't find a place for me, and I am so scared to be confronted with people and meet so many people and that I won't be accepted and liked. It's just my insecurities biting me in the ass. But I'm scared that I won't get into Brandeis and that I won't be happy anywhere else. It's all stuff that I still need to think about in my mind...because this whole transition is so overwhelming and scary. I know my parents will NEVER allow me to go to Israel for college, or ulpan...because I won't come home. But I just want to find a place that will truly make me happy, and when I was in Israel I was the happiest I have ever been.
Life's tough.