Growing up
So it's official...
THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS CLASS OF 2009!!
So let's just say I had a total breakdown tonight. I just can't believe I am going to college. This is such a huge step. And I have realized how lucky I am to be able to have been given the opportunities I have had these past 18 years.
It's funny how much I feel this transition actually happening. My mom says to me today as I am crying and laughing while watching the movie "Life as a House"..."Gosh Dena, I totally forgot you had a personality..."
At first it really caught my attention, and then it just got me thinking. These past few years or so, besides EIE, I have felt so lost, and so not myself. I have had such a difficult time being able to open up, to be happy, and to just be myself. I don't even know who 'myself' is. But as my mom tells me, "It's that cute little 4 year old I see in pictures that just wants to play house and teacher"
And as I begin this whole new transition in my life...I begin to realize how a whole new chapter is starting. It's as if I am starting all over. My mom asks me today, "Imagine if you counted the number of years of life, in minutes. Let's say you had 90 minutes to live. You have already lived 18 of them, so you have 72 minutes remaining. What would you do in those 72 minutes of your life?"
It began to scare me as I thought about it. The world is at my reach, and I don't have much time to explore. I see that I need to "seize the day, live life to every moment". It's really really true. I need to live my life. Be happy. Do things I enjoy doing. Find myself and be myself. I don't have much time. I only have so much time in 'this lifetime'.
For once in my life, I need to be happy. I need to forget about all those mistakes I have made. Oh so forget I was depressed. Forget about the shower incident. Forget about being made fun of in 8th grade, and not having that many friends in high school. I am blessed with the opportunities that I was given, and I have done so much that I should be on my knees thanking God for everything I have been given. Thank you for Israel. Thank you for EIE. Thank you for Camp. Thank you for Family. Thank you for my cats. Thank you for Judaism.
THE UNIVERSITY OF KANSAS CLASS OF 2009!!
So let's just say I had a total breakdown tonight. I just can't believe I am going to college. This is such a huge step. And I have realized how lucky I am to be able to have been given the opportunities I have had these past 18 years.
It's funny how much I feel this transition actually happening. My mom says to me today as I am crying and laughing while watching the movie "Life as a House"..."Gosh Dena, I totally forgot you had a personality..."
At first it really caught my attention, and then it just got me thinking. These past few years or so, besides EIE, I have felt so lost, and so not myself. I have had such a difficult time being able to open up, to be happy, and to just be myself. I don't even know who 'myself' is. But as my mom tells me, "It's that cute little 4 year old I see in pictures that just wants to play house and teacher"
And as I begin this whole new transition in my life...I begin to realize how a whole new chapter is starting. It's as if I am starting all over. My mom asks me today, "Imagine if you counted the number of years of life, in minutes. Let's say you had 90 minutes to live. You have already lived 18 of them, so you have 72 minutes remaining. What would you do in those 72 minutes of your life?"
It began to scare me as I thought about it. The world is at my reach, and I don't have much time to explore. I see that I need to "seize the day, live life to every moment". It's really really true. I need to live my life. Be happy. Do things I enjoy doing. Find myself and be myself. I don't have much time. I only have so much time in 'this lifetime'.
For once in my life, I need to be happy. I need to forget about all those mistakes I have made. Oh so forget I was depressed. Forget about the shower incident. Forget about being made fun of in 8th grade, and not having that many friends in high school. I am blessed with the opportunities that I was given, and I have done so much that I should be on my knees thanking God for everything I have been given. Thank you for Israel. Thank you for EIE. Thank you for Camp. Thank you for Family. Thank you for my cats. Thank you for Judaism.