Rain rain go away....
It's raining here. It was all night and has been all day. everyonce in a while the thunder comes with it. It woke me up this morning and then I wrestled to go back to sleep. The rain won.
I want to be happy. I mean I am happy with most of my life, I have things pretty easy. I don't have to worry if I will be able to get to college and scrounge up every penny I have. I have amazing friends. I couldn't ask for a better family. I am going to a great school where I can get a great education. But there is something missing. Part of me longs for a relationship. every guy that I see that even just talks to me, my mind goes "hmmm, I wonder if he likes me?" then the other part yells "NO! you can just be friends!" I want to be ok with being single. I want to be ok with just being friends with a guy. But at the same time I want to feel that love, and have someone want me. I don't want to be told "you have to change", but "I love you just how you are, never change" I don't want to be bitter twards guys. But I feel myself heading that way. I want that love, I want to have a family, that is what I want. But I need to learn to wait for it and let it find me. For some reason I just can't let myself. It is so hard.
I tried calling people this weekend to talk, but no one was around and they didn't return my call. oh well it happens. I know people are busy. but just give me two minutes of your time, even if you just leave me a message. It shows me that you got my callat least, thats all I ask. I think I will try calling again later.
I saw Becoming Jane yesterday. I loved it. I never knew Jane Austins history. I have always wanted to read her books, but I just can't get into them. Sad really. I will read them before I die...thats all there is to it.
I want to go play in the rain, but it is too cold out : (
I want to be happy. I mean I am happy with most of my life, I have things pretty easy. I don't have to worry if I will be able to get to college and scrounge up every penny I have. I have amazing friends. I couldn't ask for a better family. I am going to a great school where I can get a great education. But there is something missing. Part of me longs for a relationship. every guy that I see that even just talks to me, my mind goes "hmmm, I wonder if he likes me?" then the other part yells "NO! you can just be friends!" I want to be ok with being single. I want to be ok with just being friends with a guy. But at the same time I want to feel that love, and have someone want me. I don't want to be told "you have to change", but "I love you just how you are, never change" I don't want to be bitter twards guys. But I feel myself heading that way. I want that love, I want to have a family, that is what I want. But I need to learn to wait for it and let it find me. For some reason I just can't let myself. It is so hard.
I tried calling people this weekend to talk, but no one was around and they didn't return my call. oh well it happens. I know people are busy. but just give me two minutes of your time, even if you just leave me a message. It shows me that you got my callat least, thats all I ask. I think I will try calling again later.
I saw Becoming Jane yesterday. I loved it. I never knew Jane Austins history. I have always wanted to read her books, but I just can't get into them. Sad really. I will read them before I die...thats all there is to it.
I want to go play in the rain, but it is too cold out : (