Common Diction of My Super Delinq Trailer Mortgage People.

Jul 27, 2012 22:17


Common Diction of My Super Delinq Trailer Mortgage People. Translations created by a good friend and slam poet: Lane S.

Her Gone - She is currently unavailableWho dis is? - May I ask who I'm speaking with?

My phone fell in some water -  1. My phone was disconnected due to lack of payment.  2. My phone was crushed during domestic dispute.  3. I dropped my phone into the toilet during meth induced stupor.  4.  My phone is active and I chose not to answer it.  (see also, "I got a new phone number")

I was in the hospital - I was in drug rehab

What had happened was - My reason for delinquency is.

Can I get my payoff  -  I am horrible with money and have zero foresight.

The money in there, it must be a problem with the bank.  -  I just put the money in there

It was a problem with the bank.  -  It was a problem with my banking skills.

I work a lot of crazy hours  -  I watch a lot of "America's Craziest Swamp Loggers" for hours.

I'm doing the best I can.  -  I own the nicest car and rent-to-own furniture my paycheck will allow.

You can't squeeze blood out of a turnip - It is difficult to acquire a substance from an item which does not contain afforementioned substance.

The next payment will be on the due date - 1. The next payment will be the exact same way this one was.  2. Much like the original contract, I wish to make a promise I have no intentions of keeping.

I put it in the mail.  -  I forgot to put it in the mail, and may or may not put it in the mail soon.

I only send moneygrams, I don't trust banks.  -  I clearly have no understanding of the financial mechanics of the modern world.  Supplementally while I find your   2 dollar tax escrow increase deplorable, I openly accept the 8.50-13.50 wiring charges every month.

I called and no one picked up.  -  My inability to manage my time is now your problem.

What had happened was - My reason for delinquency is.

Can I get my payoff  -  I am horrible with money and have zero foresight.

The money in there, it must be a problem with the bank.  -  I just put the money in there

It was a problem with the bank.  -  It was a problem with my banking skills.

I work a lot of crazy hours  -  I watch a lot of "America's Craziest Swamp Loggers" for hours.

I'm doing the best I can.  -  I own the nicest car and rent-to-own furniture my paycheck will allow.

I got real sick - I got real high.

I only send moneygrams, I don't trust banks.  -  I clearly have no understanding of the financial mechanics of the modern world.  Supplementally while I find your 2 dollar tax escrow increase deplorable, I openly accept the 8.50-13.50 wiring charges every month.

My car broke down and I had to fix it. -  I determined my rims were too small.

I don't have the money because they screwed up my check - I received the check and proceeded to screw up the money.

life, hilarious

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