Wangfest VII And The Double Ended Dildo
We're up to Seven... although somehow I never made a post from last year's Wangfest. Like usual it was awesome times all around and made of 100 percent sex jokes and hilarity. First off, Brian and Josh came and picked me up because this year I was not the one driving. I loaded my stuff up and we were on our way to pick up Joshes much needed necessity, bear spray. We went to Island Outfitters where we stood out like sore thumbs as people who don't regularly buy guns, anything camo, or truck canopies. Luckily I was wearing plaid flannel so we were alright. Josh got his bear spray and we went to go pick up Allison.
We went to Fairy Lake and met up with Lucas, Tim and Becky first but it was kind of lame. It was muddy and not very beachy and only had one good multi-site that was surrounded by old people RVing who would obviously complain about us. So instead we drove to Lizard Lake. Lizard Lake, unlike Fairy Lake which isn't filled with fairies, is filled with lizards... well newts. It's pretty cool. And the site was better in every way. It was better maintained, the beach was better, their weren't as many people surrounding the only good multi-site. Somehow it even got sunnier once we got to Lizard Lake. It was awesome. All that was left was to wait for the rest of everyone and put up our shit.
The perspective in this picture is all messed up. It looks like Becky is opening a case of beer while breastfeeding Josh... but actually she's making dinner behind the case of beer while breastfeeding Josh.
Allison's bum.
Lucas decided to take a shot of contact lens fluid. I don't think Becky approves.
Setting up camp.
Allison hugs Josh so Josh grabs the bear spray to protect himself.
It was getting late and the park gates closed at 11. It was dark and we didn't want everyone else to miss the turn-off so Tim, Becky and I went to the gate to wait for them.
After a while we figured we couldn't keep waiting since we didn't even know if they were coming for sure. Becky got a bright idea and decided to leave some glow-sticks as a message. Luckily she ate some earlier so she just puked them out into a W and F.
WANGFEST!
Then we just played with glowsticks for a while.
Sheldon's van finally pulled up! The park ranger guy, Bret, opened the gate for them! Bret was really cool all weekend and probably the most easy going ranger I've ever met except for when I went to Cape Scott with my dad. I accidentally took the picture of Sheldon's van arriving with my camera's "Big Foot Focus" setting.
It was like 11:30 and the rest of us had been up since very early, but since these guys just arrived we had to party. How can you say no to this face?
So even though we were sobering up we got drunk again.
It looks like it was raining but I think my lens was just dirty.
Becky busts out the poi.
The morning after.
... ... enough said.
So we plod along to the beach after breakfast. There's a cool dock we chill out on.
This dog was literally insane. It kept looking for rocks in the water... then freaking the fuck out because it saw rocks everywhere... then forgetting and doing it 5 minutes later. It was awesome.
Badass in a boat.
Tim and Sheldon flipped over the little boys boat. Assholes.
These dudes brought this giant eight man boat thing with a cooler attached. I was totally amazed at first but then they just stood around it on the shore for about an hour. By the time they actually got in the water my interest was completely gone.
Sheldon took Allison out really far and marooned her on this tiny island in the middle of the lake. Way later time he went and brought her back. Ha.
The whole time we were there these 2 or 3 twelve year old girls were around us constantly. Obviously we kept making pedophilia jokes. The girls eventually outdid us with the most phallic, psuedosexual watergun fight ever. It was hilarious but I didn't want to take pictures of twelve year old girls in bathing suits. But they were running all over the dock and yelling things like "Oh my God I'm so wet! You sprayed all over my face!" and stuff like that.
There they are...
But apparently I'm more interested in my thighs now...
Josh and Allison find a tasty fig newt-on!
I don't know why now... but at the time it seemed perfectly natural to pretend to lick it.
Allison tried to release him back to the water...
But instead we BBQ'd him. Deeeeeeelicious.
Allison with a face full of newt!
About .5 seconds before it came out.
We played a lot of King's Cup, The Rhyme Game, Categories, Theme Party and stuff like that.
Judging by Becky and Mike's expressions they didn't like it very much...
Bluejays were all over and kept stealing our Cheetos and Fruitloops.
Allison spilled the wine all over herself, Sheldon and Josh and ran to the lake to clean it all. Becky went to help because it was dark and she didn't want Allison to ambushed by a bear. While down at the lake Becky found...
The twelve year old's double-ended-dildo gun!
She sprayed it all over us and was tackled by Sheldon. Sadly, the dildo gun did not survive.
The rest of the night we all just hung around and talked and drank and played games and stuff.
The next day it was time for the people who came late to leave early too.
Someone stole my camera and took this picture... I wonder who.
Apparently I am not happy with this one bit.
Then they some useless picture like this...
and this...
and this... which is either the inside of someone's mouth... or a flailing vagina.
Judging by Katie's face it's a flailing vagina.
Yay!
The Wangfesties!
I birth Josh...
On the way home we saw this cool tree in Fairy Lake...
THE END!
I walked by a record store and the sign out front said they specialize in hard to find records and tapes. Nothing was alphabetized.
- Andrew