Various moments serving a dual purpose
I'm laying in bed Tuesday night, sound asleep, when all of the sudden I am awoken by a rumbling from the bottom bunk. Either a wild animal has gotten into bed with Eric, or the man is having a seizure. Scared as hell, I leap off the top bunk and quickly find out that my latter suspicion was the correct one. There was Eric, lying in bed shaking and making noises that are beyond description. Obviously I was really freaked out and was trying to recall what my mom did whenever Sisko had seizures. I suddenly realized that my only experience with epilepsy was pretty insufficient, being that the experience came from my dog. So I just tried to console him with crap like, "Eric, hang in there buddy," and other nonsense. After about 45 seconds of seizuring, Eric just kind of died down and laid motionless in his bed. I kept saying, "Eric, are you okay?" but he wouldn't respond. Then I started yelling his name, and everytime I did this he would open his eyes, look at me, then look away. It was creepy as hell. I didn't know what the hell else to do, so I ran down the hall and woke up Bora, telling him what was going on. He didn't seem to really care; the man's first reaction was to slowly walk over to his dresser and put in some eyedrops. He went into my room and sat down next to Eric, asking him if he was alright. Once again, Eric would just look at him, then look away and close his eyes. Bora took me into the hall and told me this has happened numerous times before, and to just go back to sleep. He also told me that I could move out anytime I wanted. I had a choice between rooming with Brenton down the hall, or moving into a single on the ground floor. I chose the latter. Rooming with Brenton would've been alright, but at this point I didn't want to risk anything. Plus, singles are THE MONEY.
I didn't sleep well with a catatonic epileptic directly below me. The next morning I groggily asked Eric if he was okay, to which he puzzeledly inquired, "Why do you ask?"
At this point I explained the events of the previous night to Eric, who obviously had no recollection. He seemed kinda pissed off and went back to sleep.
After classes I went back to the room and informed "Electric E" of my departure. He got really sad and sorta looked to the ground, like when zoologists return monkeys to their natural habitat. "WHY?" he asked.
"Because I need to be alone," I replied.
"Is this because of my seizure?"
"No, well...a little bit. But not a lot. There are other reasons."
"Don't you think this is a bit anti-social?"
This remark shocked me. If anybody in that room was anti-social, it was Eric. He was the one that sat on addictinggames.com playing 3D Pong while I went out and carved a life for myself. "No, not really," I said.
Jason helped me move outta the room. We carted all my crap down four flights of stairs to my new room on the first floor. Eric spent this time at his computer talking to his mother on the phone. Jason and I would overhear occasionaly remarks like, "I don't know why he's leaving..." and "I'm really gonna miss the recliner."
I was emptying out my sock drawer when Eric told his mom, "Hold on, I'll ask him," I knew this wasn't going to be good.
"My mother wants to know why you're moving out."
"Because I was born to walk alone."
He repeated this to his mom.
"SHE says to tell you 'it's a lonely path,'"
I told him it was a path I was willing to walk(especially if it got him outta my life). He stayed on his cell for the duration of the move, I think because he didn't wanna talk to me. It actually made everything very easy. One of the last things he asked me was, "Do you think I could come visit R2-D2 occasionally?" This was a reference to my Astromech Cassette Player, whose SFX functions would frequently (and annoyingly) be used by Eric. Obviously the man wanted to hang onto the closest thing he had to a friend (me, not the droid), so I would have to handle my response with care.
"Yeah, you can visit R2...but JUST R2!"
I know it was an asshole thing to say, but hey -- In the words of Popeye, "I y'am what I y'am."
Later that night, after I had moved all my stuff, I went to help out for Midstate Magazine. For those of you who don't know, I have recently been made host of the Bradley news program. Eye On Metamora was the only thing that ever held real meaning in my life, and I think this show will help alleviate the loss. They needed help cleaning out their prop closet and I gave 'em a hand because I want to get on everybody's good side. My co-host was there. She's a Freshman named Lauren, who everyone calls "Troppy" for reasons that are beyond me. At the first meeting for Midstate we had a lot of fun and joked around about crap. We also learned that we share the same birthday and the same genetic skin diseases. Sometime later she told me about this dude Matt who's in her improv group...I guess he used her and shit and she JUST broke it off with him. So we went out to dinner, and she seemed pretty cool, albeit a bit different from me...but really funny and interesting to talk to. We have similar interests but have completely different beliefs about school, life, etc. She was like "Come to the rehearsal for my improv group on Wednesday", and how can you resist an offer like that? I can't. Thus, last night -- after cleaning up for Midstate -- I headed over to her dorm and met her and her friends.
We then went to this room where "Barbeque Kitten" has their rehearsals. This one dude named Carl came up and started talking to Lauren's friends (whom I got stuck with as my co-host worked the room). He was extremely upper-class, complete with snobby accent. In a vague attempt to impress the ladies, Carl exclaimed, "I wore this jacket because it just so copernicious!" I butted in with the smartass comment, "Yeah I'm definitely getting the copernicious."
Carl kinda looked at me funny and said, "Ha! I made up the word, it's French and it has no meaning!" or something bizarre like that. I just raised an eyebrow at him in a nonverbal response of, "Go fuck yourself, fag".
The whole night Lauren was putting her arm around mine and being VERY touchy-feely. This includes earlier when we were cleaning out the prop room. It was kinda weird since I had only known her for a few days.
My first impression of Barbeque Kitten was that it was Bradley theater all over again...and you know how I feel about theater people. If you don't, go back and read my entry about the play I was in. A lot of the same people from New Faces were there. Luckily, it was actually funny and I had a somewhat good time. Some of those theater people really egg me on though...
Lauren's ex-friend with benefits was there. He was your average "I know everything about improv and I work out EVERYDAY" loser. Easily capable of kicking my ass. Then I realized what Lauren's intentions were for me. Or, I think I figured out her intentions. I was on the way to becoming a pathetic rebound fuck; somebody Lauren could flash in front of Matt and exclaim, "I don't need you anymore because I got this guy!" This girl could care less about the real Joey Fandel. She just needs someone to parade in front of her ex-man-friend, and I really don't need that shit. What I really need right now are people who care about me. Hanging out with Lauren just made me lonelier than I already am. I felt very unwanted last night, very uncared for. Needless to say, Joseph Clifford Fandel is not a piece of meat. She'll be a good co-host though, and maybe a good friend.
Tonight I hung out with my mom and Eric. We went home for a little bit, and I got some stuff outta my room. This was the second time I've been home since I moved out last month, and each time I've gone back I've realized how much I miss it. I seriously almost started to cry, because everything was so different. Lately I've been living in the past, which I need to stop because that's why I failed Theater and wound up in this fucking Turning Point Program.
The night ended with a conversation with Griff. I mentioned how suffering can be "fun" when you look at it in retrospect. By "fun" I mean a "learning experience". I mentioned a particular time from long ago that I felt like crap.
tregaron04: moments in life serve a dual purpose, of which they can be alike or completely different. at the time you were heartbroken, sorrowful, not prepared for the change in your life. now you look back on it, in memory, and it's a completely different experience
flanman returns: a learning experience
tregaron04: exactly. everything in life is a learning experience. there isn't a moment that goes by when you don't evolve as a person
flanman returns: I believe that
tregaron04: so, in essence you live two lives: one in the present and one in the past
flanman returns: I guess nothing is really as bad in retrospect as it was in the moment, right?
tregaron04: nope. even physical pain is worse in the present. you can get used to it with time
flanman returns: does the learning experience ever stop, and we all get a chance to be happy, or is it until you die?
tregaron04: putting off the question of death, you always learn throughout everything, every moment, but you can learn to be 'happy'
flanman returns: well I will look forward to that, griff
tregaron04: more people should than just accepting what has been given them. it would be a better place to live
flanman returns: griff, you are the wilson to my tim taylor
flanman returns: if you understand that home improvement reference
tregaron04: the guy who lives behind the fence
flanman returns: yeah, that's you
I didn't sleep well with a catatonic epileptic directly below me. The next morning I groggily asked Eric if he was okay, to which he puzzeledly inquired, "Why do you ask?"
At this point I explained the events of the previous night to Eric, who obviously had no recollection. He seemed kinda pissed off and went back to sleep.
After classes I went back to the room and informed "Electric E" of my departure. He got really sad and sorta looked to the ground, like when zoologists return monkeys to their natural habitat. "WHY?" he asked.
"Because I need to be alone," I replied.
"Is this because of my seizure?"
"No, well...a little bit. But not a lot. There are other reasons."
"Don't you think this is a bit anti-social?"
This remark shocked me. If anybody in that room was anti-social, it was Eric. He was the one that sat on addictinggames.com playing 3D Pong while I went out and carved a life for myself. "No, not really," I said.
Jason helped me move outta the room. We carted all my crap down four flights of stairs to my new room on the first floor. Eric spent this time at his computer talking to his mother on the phone. Jason and I would overhear occasionaly remarks like, "I don't know why he's leaving..." and "I'm really gonna miss the recliner."
I was emptying out my sock drawer when Eric told his mom, "Hold on, I'll ask him," I knew this wasn't going to be good.
"My mother wants to know why you're moving out."
"Because I was born to walk alone."
He repeated this to his mom.
"SHE says to tell you 'it's a lonely path,'"
I told him it was a path I was willing to walk(especially if it got him outta my life). He stayed on his cell for the duration of the move, I think because he didn't wanna talk to me. It actually made everything very easy. One of the last things he asked me was, "Do you think I could come visit R2-D2 occasionally?" This was a reference to my Astromech Cassette Player, whose SFX functions would frequently (and annoyingly) be used by Eric. Obviously the man wanted to hang onto the closest thing he had to a friend (me, not the droid), so I would have to handle my response with care.
"Yeah, you can visit R2...but JUST R2!"
I know it was an asshole thing to say, but hey -- In the words of Popeye, "I y'am what I y'am."
Later that night, after I had moved all my stuff, I went to help out for Midstate Magazine. For those of you who don't know, I have recently been made host of the Bradley news program. Eye On Metamora was the only thing that ever held real meaning in my life, and I think this show will help alleviate the loss. They needed help cleaning out their prop closet and I gave 'em a hand because I want to get on everybody's good side. My co-host was there. She's a Freshman named Lauren, who everyone calls "Troppy" for reasons that are beyond me. At the first meeting for Midstate we had a lot of fun and joked around about crap. We also learned that we share the same birthday and the same genetic skin diseases. Sometime later she told me about this dude Matt who's in her improv group...I guess he used her and shit and she JUST broke it off with him. So we went out to dinner, and she seemed pretty cool, albeit a bit different from me...but really funny and interesting to talk to. We have similar interests but have completely different beliefs about school, life, etc. She was like "Come to the rehearsal for my improv group on Wednesday", and how can you resist an offer like that? I can't. Thus, last night -- after cleaning up for Midstate -- I headed over to her dorm and met her and her friends.
We then went to this room where "Barbeque Kitten" has their rehearsals. This one dude named Carl came up and started talking to Lauren's friends (whom I got stuck with as my co-host worked the room). He was extremely upper-class, complete with snobby accent. In a vague attempt to impress the ladies, Carl exclaimed, "I wore this jacket because it just so copernicious!" I butted in with the smartass comment, "Yeah I'm definitely getting the copernicious."
Carl kinda looked at me funny and said, "Ha! I made up the word, it's French and it has no meaning!" or something bizarre like that. I just raised an eyebrow at him in a nonverbal response of, "Go fuck yourself, fag".
The whole night Lauren was putting her arm around mine and being VERY touchy-feely. This includes earlier when we were cleaning out the prop room. It was kinda weird since I had only known her for a few days.
My first impression of Barbeque Kitten was that it was Bradley theater all over again...and you know how I feel about theater people. If you don't, go back and read my entry about the play I was in. A lot of the same people from New Faces were there. Luckily, it was actually funny and I had a somewhat good time. Some of those theater people really egg me on though...
Lauren's ex-friend with benefits was there. He was your average "I know everything about improv and I work out EVERYDAY" loser. Easily capable of kicking my ass. Then I realized what Lauren's intentions were for me. Or, I think I figured out her intentions. I was on the way to becoming a pathetic rebound fuck; somebody Lauren could flash in front of Matt and exclaim, "I don't need you anymore because I got this guy!" This girl could care less about the real Joey Fandel. She just needs someone to parade in front of her ex-man-friend, and I really don't need that shit. What I really need right now are people who care about me. Hanging out with Lauren just made me lonelier than I already am. I felt very unwanted last night, very uncared for. Needless to say, Joseph Clifford Fandel is not a piece of meat. She'll be a good co-host though, and maybe a good friend.
Tonight I hung out with my mom and Eric. We went home for a little bit, and I got some stuff outta my room. This was the second time I've been home since I moved out last month, and each time I've gone back I've realized how much I miss it. I seriously almost started to cry, because everything was so different. Lately I've been living in the past, which I need to stop because that's why I failed Theater and wound up in this fucking Turning Point Program.
The night ended with a conversation with Griff. I mentioned how suffering can be "fun" when you look at it in retrospect. By "fun" I mean a "learning experience". I mentioned a particular time from long ago that I felt like crap.
tregaron04: moments in life serve a dual purpose, of which they can be alike or completely different. at the time you were heartbroken, sorrowful, not prepared for the change in your life. now you look back on it, in memory, and it's a completely different experience
flanman returns: a learning experience
tregaron04: exactly. everything in life is a learning experience. there isn't a moment that goes by when you don't evolve as a person
flanman returns: I believe that
tregaron04: so, in essence you live two lives: one in the present and one in the past
flanman returns: I guess nothing is really as bad in retrospect as it was in the moment, right?
tregaron04: nope. even physical pain is worse in the present. you can get used to it with time
flanman returns: does the learning experience ever stop, and we all get a chance to be happy, or is it until you die?
tregaron04: putting off the question of death, you always learn throughout everything, every moment, but you can learn to be 'happy'
flanman returns: well I will look forward to that, griff
tregaron04: more people should than just accepting what has been given them. it would be a better place to live
flanman returns: griff, you are the wilson to my tim taylor
flanman returns: if you understand that home improvement reference
tregaron04: the guy who lives behind the fence
flanman returns: yeah, that's you