I AM THE WINGMASTER
If I die tomorrow I won't have any regrets. Why, you ask? BECAUSE I AM THE MOTHER FUCKING WINGMASTER!!! Yes, that's right, me and Jesse can eat more wings than The Rack Shack has to dish out. Last night(if you count today as Tuesday) I squared off against Jess "The Mess" Hendryx in a wing-off of epic proportions. At first I ate through those fuckers like they were nothin', but as I approached #40 I started to slow down. So did Jesse. Then they came out and told us they were outta wings. It was decided that Jesse and I would both stop at 49, then head over to Kep's Place and continue our battle royale. I finished mine and then waited for Jesse. Truth be told, I wouldn't be able to take a fiftieth wing. I had reached my limit. Luckily, Jesse didn't make it to 49. He vomited into an empty pitcher, filling that bitch up half full. Victory was mine! Now I was the wingmaster!
Now, I know what you're thinking. Aaron Breitbarth is the wingmaster. After all, the man ate like seventy or eighty way back in the day. But dare I remind you that drastic changes have been made to the Rack Shack wing since then. Gone are the miniscule .20 cent wings of old, replaced by the .30 monsters that me and Jesse put on the endangered species list. So technically, Breitbarth and I are either tied, or I surpassed his record.
Hence, I am publicly challenging Aaron Breitbarth to a wing-off....maybe. Let's see what happens?
But anyways, I am the wingmaster and I am awesome.
On a side note...
I don't want to make my livejournal private, so I am going to ask politely that all crazy people stop reading.
How do you know if you're crazy?
1)I have not called you in several months, and avoid you in public.
2)I have called you "crazy, psychotic, etc" to your face or to other, less-crazy people.
3)You have to leave anonymous comments because I have either A)Blocked you, or B)Only want me to see them.
4)You have shopped at Barnes and Noble at some point in your life(my friends and the customers who leave me alone excluded).
Actually, I'd prefer if everybody would stop reading. Because, frankly, I want to talk bad about all of you.
Now, I know what you're thinking. Aaron Breitbarth is the wingmaster. After all, the man ate like seventy or eighty way back in the day. But dare I remind you that drastic changes have been made to the Rack Shack wing since then. Gone are the miniscule .20 cent wings of old, replaced by the .30 monsters that me and Jesse put on the endangered species list. So technically, Breitbarth and I are either tied, or I surpassed his record.
Hence, I am publicly challenging Aaron Breitbarth to a wing-off....maybe. Let's see what happens?
But anyways, I am the wingmaster and I am awesome.
On a side note...
I don't want to make my livejournal private, so I am going to ask politely that all crazy people stop reading.
How do you know if you're crazy?
1)I have not called you in several months, and avoid you in public.
2)I have called you "crazy, psychotic, etc" to your face or to other, less-crazy people.
3)You have to leave anonymous comments because I have either A)Blocked you, or B)Only want me to see them.
4)You have shopped at Barnes and Noble at some point in your life(my friends and the customers who leave me alone excluded).
Actually, I'd prefer if everybody would stop reading. Because, frankly, I want to talk bad about all of you.