Happenstance
When I hit post on my last entry in 2016, I had no idea what lie in wait for me. For all of us. I was very satisfied with Target and, still enjoying the high that the ego boost of having moved to, lived in, and departed San Diego all on my own gave me a year prior, and bolstered by the fact that I had lost all the weight I wanted and felt precisely the confidence I always expected I would, felt as though I stood at the apex of young adulthood.
I'll never be able to recollect all that has transpired between then and now but I'll attempt to get the major events, they include:
2017- I entered my first (and positively last/only) relationship. This stretched from early March 2017 to February 2018. Fraught with red flags from day one, it ended more or less uneventfully which, as I reflect on it, was probably the ideal outcome. I sum it up this way: if a building was on fire and he was on the floor in the hall, I wouldn't hold him down but I wouldn't extend my hand to help either.
2017 also- I was diagnosed with an adenoma/hyperparathyroidism. In short, one of my parathyroids turned into a non-cancerous tumor that was messing with my blood calcium levels which in turn was messing with most of my body systems. This disorder typically affects old people so my endocrinologist recommended I have it surgically removed. This was diagnosed and treated from March 2017 to August 2017.
2017 again- I took a new job at a distribution center. I never liked the people there. They ranged from unlikable to literally insufferable. The work is fine, and just interesting enough to hold my attention. One clinic accidentally sent us animal organs instead of their expired medicines. I was the one to find this and it was kind of gross. Of the couple of people I do like there, I rarely see. I still work here.
2018- I revisited California, and the cousin I stayed with. It reinforced an unexplainable draw to California. You know the feeling. Like there's unfinished business there or something there for me to find. I have resolved to go back some day.
2019- I decide to go back to school for radiation therapy because it pays well and I see it as my ticket away from my family. I start in January but then learn my school is closing in March. I sit around for most of the year wondering what my next move should be. By chance, another school offers to pick up my program and I am able to resume class in September as if nothing happened but a very long vacation from class. I hate every veritable minute of it and regret choosing it.
2020- The pandemic is a blessing in disguise for me and my every deteriorating grades, will to live, and sanity. I had the virus very early on so I kept my head low and pretended that my life was in upheaval because of it when in fact I reveled in it. There were almost no changes I had to make regarding social events. I rarely go out anyway. The only issue I had was not being able to go thrifting from March to May or whenever stores began to open back up with their mask protocols and occupancy guidelines.
Now- I'm still in school, technically my final semester/trimester before going off to clinical training. Despite being so close to the "end" there are still so many hurdles I need to jump in order to be allowed to go to clinical training (likely in Nebraska or Texas). I make my best effort to take it one day at a time and not worry about what happens. There are some for-sures coming down the pipeline however, I am leaving my distribution warehouse job come September (whether I move on to clinical training or fail out), and I am moving out of state. My family has made it abundantly clear that they can't/won't sell me the house I was raised in and so, I have reason to stay in Minnesota. I don't like the cold of winter so my plan is to go south.
I lost both of my original guinea pigs at the end of last year and just a few weeks ago. Losing Geeps was much harder than losing Parsnip. Maybe because Geeps' loss was very unexpected. Neither of them were 6 years old.
Through sleuthing public records and utilizing basic search tools, I was able to locate my friend who slipped away into a cult over 10 years ago. She isn't active on the internet but through information posted on a website dedicated to exposing her cult for what it is, I saw her and her husband's name posted in a transcript gathered or shared by an investigating FBI agent (due to real estate fraud being tied to the leader). She was forced in front of her congregation and humiliated for questioning the "leader"'s ability to know everything. That sounds like her lol. That sounds like something she'd do no matter the consequence. It does still make me wonder why she joined in the first place though. This exchange happened in 2018 and by then she'd been in this cult for almost 10 years. If her inquisitive spirit had survived that long in captivity, why wasn't she strong enough to see it before joining... One of the final great mysteries of my life: finding her, and finding out. Her long abandoned LJ sits on my friend list quietly. The ghost of her still in it.
I'll never be able to recollect all that has transpired between then and now but I'll attempt to get the major events, they include:
2017- I entered my first (and positively last/only) relationship. This stretched from early March 2017 to February 2018. Fraught with red flags from day one, it ended more or less uneventfully which, as I reflect on it, was probably the ideal outcome. I sum it up this way: if a building was on fire and he was on the floor in the hall, I wouldn't hold him down but I wouldn't extend my hand to help either.
2017 also- I was diagnosed with an adenoma/hyperparathyroidism. In short, one of my parathyroids turned into a non-cancerous tumor that was messing with my blood calcium levels which in turn was messing with most of my body systems. This disorder typically affects old people so my endocrinologist recommended I have it surgically removed. This was diagnosed and treated from March 2017 to August 2017.
2017 again- I took a new job at a distribution center. I never liked the people there. They ranged from unlikable to literally insufferable. The work is fine, and just interesting enough to hold my attention. One clinic accidentally sent us animal organs instead of their expired medicines. I was the one to find this and it was kind of gross. Of the couple of people I do like there, I rarely see. I still work here.
2018- I revisited California, and the cousin I stayed with. It reinforced an unexplainable draw to California. You know the feeling. Like there's unfinished business there or something there for me to find. I have resolved to go back some day.
2019- I decide to go back to school for radiation therapy because it pays well and I see it as my ticket away from my family. I start in January but then learn my school is closing in March. I sit around for most of the year wondering what my next move should be. By chance, another school offers to pick up my program and I am able to resume class in September as if nothing happened but a very long vacation from class. I hate every veritable minute of it and regret choosing it.
2020- The pandemic is a blessing in disguise for me and my every deteriorating grades, will to live, and sanity. I had the virus very early on so I kept my head low and pretended that my life was in upheaval because of it when in fact I reveled in it. There were almost no changes I had to make regarding social events. I rarely go out anyway. The only issue I had was not being able to go thrifting from March to May or whenever stores began to open back up with their mask protocols and occupancy guidelines.
Now- I'm still in school, technically my final semester/trimester before going off to clinical training. Despite being so close to the "end" there are still so many hurdles I need to jump in order to be allowed to go to clinical training (likely in Nebraska or Texas). I make my best effort to take it one day at a time and not worry about what happens. There are some for-sures coming down the pipeline however, I am leaving my distribution warehouse job come September (whether I move on to clinical training or fail out), and I am moving out of state. My family has made it abundantly clear that they can't/won't sell me the house I was raised in and so, I have reason to stay in Minnesota. I don't like the cold of winter so my plan is to go south.
I lost both of my original guinea pigs at the end of last year and just a few weeks ago. Losing Geeps was much harder than losing Parsnip. Maybe because Geeps' loss was very unexpected. Neither of them were 6 years old.
Through sleuthing public records and utilizing basic search tools, I was able to locate my friend who slipped away into a cult over 10 years ago. She isn't active on the internet but through information posted on a website dedicated to exposing her cult for what it is, I saw her and her husband's name posted in a transcript gathered or shared by an investigating FBI agent (due to real estate fraud being tied to the leader). She was forced in front of her congregation and humiliated for questioning the "leader"'s ability to know everything. That sounds like her lol. That sounds like something she'd do no matter the consequence. It does still make me wonder why she joined in the first place though. This exchange happened in 2018 and by then she'd been in this cult for almost 10 years. If her inquisitive spirit had survived that long in captivity, why wasn't she strong enough to see it before joining... One of the final great mysteries of my life: finding her, and finding out. Her long abandoned LJ sits on my friend list quietly. The ghost of her still in it.