ahhhhhhhhhh

May 07, 2010 11:50

I'm just gonna come right out and say it: Nothing drives me more crazy right now than when people ask me what I'm planning on doing post school. I know it's a very normal question to ask someone who is graduating but it's a sensitive subject for me for some reason. It feels like asking a girl that's packed on a few pounds how she plans on losing the weight or asking a recent divorcee who they plan on marrying next. It makes me uncomfortable and frankly it kinda hurts inside, like someone poking at a bruise.

I feel like I've had the same conversation over and over again. I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. Yes it's freaking me the fuck out. Yes I've already considered all my options. Yes I know I need a plan. My original plan of starting my own art consultant business has been temporarily put on hold due to the fact that no one can afford art right now, let alone a house to hang it in. I need to take some time to regroup and figure out a way that this can still work in this type of economy. I need to gain perspective and to focus on my goals. I need to adjust to not having the school environment and support. And for christ's sake, I need a summer where I can just chill for a bit. I've been sick all winter and it's because I've had too much on my plate. Too many sleepless nights, nightmares, anxiety and long days with no rest. I gotta chill and let the economy issues ride out while I'm at it.
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