Livejournal. The place where you come to bitch about the things you can't even say out loud.
Found a dude that I enjoy being with immensely. He has that 1 in 10,000 kind of sense of humor that I find sexy. He does pro-wrestling on the weekends and he's the bad guy. I adore that. From my standpoint in the world that's just as fucking nerdy as me playing Dagorhir. I love it. He's so sexy that I haven't slept with him. Been to my place twice. Spent the night once. Of course, I wanted to sleep with him, but I was content to just be with him. Feel his skin. Kiss his lips. It's been a long time since I just wanted to kiss someone forever. Years.
Problem is... The wrestling. He wants to be stacked, so he's taking supplements to help that later this month. They call it a cycle. This cycle is 14 weeks. That means, no sex for three and a half months. I honestly adore this guy. I shouldn't. He's the first one I've let my guard down with in a long time. Let myself like him. And all I can think is that if he's doing this, he'll want to stay far the hell away from me so I don't tempt him. Which means no beautiful, kindhearted, sexy man in my life. As always. Alone. The ones I want want nothing to do with me.
It sucks. Bigger muscles are more important than the one of the biggest hearted, most loyal and trustworthy people you'll ever meet.
I've been meaning to ask the gods, when do I get mine? I KNOW, I KNOW. 22. So young. But I've been alone for a long time and I'm tired. I'd enjoy a companion that I can spend my time with. A best friend. Someone to be intimate with, who knows my secrets, listens to my fears, enjoys my company.
Fucking fuck.
Problem is... The wrestling. He wants to be stacked, so he's taking supplements to help that later this month. They call it a cycle. This cycle is 14 weeks. That means, no sex for three and a half months. I honestly adore this guy. I shouldn't. He's the first one I've let my guard down with in a long time. Let myself like him. And all I can think is that if he's doing this, he'll want to stay far the hell away from me so I don't tempt him. Which means no beautiful, kindhearted, sexy man in my life. As always. Alone. The ones I want want nothing to do with me.
It sucks. Bigger muscles are more important than the one of the biggest hearted, most loyal and trustworthy people you'll ever meet.
I've been meaning to ask the gods, when do I get mine? I KNOW, I KNOW. 22. So young. But I've been alone for a long time and I'm tired. I'd enjoy a companion that I can spend my time with. A best friend. Someone to be intimate with, who knows my secrets, listens to my fears, enjoys my company.
Fucking fuck.