fic: the heart is a lonely hunter (and a fucking liar); veep, amy/dan, r)
title: the heart is a lonely hunter (and a fucking liar)
characters: amy/dan
rating: r
summary: he doesn't set out to think about what her mother said, but suddenly it's the only thing on his mind. or fic where dan turns into a nervous freak and asks everyone around the office about amy.
author's notes: written post 2.02. oh these two.
It's not like he means to think about it.
"You broke her heart."
He doesn't do families, or meeting them, or hanging out with them, or families at all period; after all, he gave his parents a rerouted number to an empty mailbox when they wouldn't stop calling him after he moved to D.C. He'd been distracted enough by being inside a hospital with sick people breathing the same air as him, and then the sudden surprise of being in the room with Amy's parentals, to pay attention to what they'd actually said.
Only now he does later when they're back in the office and he's busy not looking at the emails in his inbox.
He tries to distract himself with that stupid bird game Jonah talks about. The little red fucker dies though.
He goes through his inbox.
Delete, scroll, forward, ignore, hide, delete.
"You broke her heart."
Fuck his life.
"What do you want," Gary asks and eyes him when Dan sidles up to him while he's busy stuffing the VP's back with about ten different lipsticks. Don't want another meltdown apparently over what shade to have.
"Uh," Dan looks away from the horrendous shade of plum he definitely doesn't know anything about. "How much does Amy talk to her parents?"
Gary debates between two different tubes before tossing the bad plum away over his shoulder. He pauses and then swings his face to look at him. "Why?"
He presses his lips together, thinking on the sudden gleam and interest in Gary's eyes. "No reason. Nice call on the plum, wouldn't want the VP looking like a sallow clown on TV."
His gait may be quick as he leaves, but it is not him fleeing.
"Hey, Mike, has Amy ever said anything about me?"
Mike's eating a calzone, part of it on his shirt already. He leans back in his chair, dangerously close to falling over, and looks up at Dan. "You mean like that time she said she'd like to put your dead body in the Potomac?"
"Uh."
"Or when she called you a dickface because that tie you wore two weeks ago looked like something a newbie on the Hill would wear trying to suck ass with the Senators?"
He'd liked that tie okay. It got him into Senator Dryhill's office, thank you fucking very much.
Dan hooks his the tip of shoe around Mike's rolling chair, jerking backwards. The chair topples over and Mike goes with it. "You have red sauce on your shirt, dickface."
"No."
"But, Sue, you like me-"
"No."
"Sue-"
"I said no."
"So remember when you asked about Amy-"
Dan tries hard to glare at Gary from the corner of his eye. "I never asked that."
"Yes you did."
"No."
"Are you two gossiping fucks back there going to pay attention or not? Because if not you can take your high school asses out," Selina shouts from behind her desk.
The VP's office isn't the best place for this.
Dan realizes the office maybe isn't the best place for this questioning at all.
Of course he doesn't realize this till after Amy corners him in the men's bathroom.
"You don't have a dick," he blurts out, thankful he's washing his hands and no one else is in here. They're really fucking up today. Someone's going to leak this all over the place. They're going to be the Hill gossip. Redo of Amy's fake abortion.
"If I did it'd be bigger than yours," Amy shoots back, checking over her shoulder to make sure no one's come through the door.
He scoffs and smirks. "You've seen my dick, you know that's not true."
Rolling her eyes, she mumbles under her breath, "Don't remind me."
His smirk only widens. "You liked it."
"What are you five?"
"You're the one in the men's room."
She makes a little growl noise in the back of her throat. Part of him finds it cute. The other part hopes she doesn't make good on her threat to put him in the Potomac. "What are you even doing in here?" he asks when he remembers not to stare at her mouth.
"Gary told me you've been asking about me to everyone."
Goddamn Gary.
"No I haven't." He's a liar today. Every day. He makes sure not to shred the paper towel in his hand.
She gives him the look she reserves for Mike when he's lying out of his ass about some screw up with the press. "Sue confirmed it."
Can't get any respect in the office.
She narrows her eyes at him under the fluorescent overhead lights. "This doesn't have anything to do with what my mother said does it?"
"No," he tries to keep his tone even. Failure as the vowel elongates too much.
"You're a shit liar, Dan."
"Do I look broken hearted to you?" Amy asks above him, knees braced on the bed on either side of his hips.
There's a joke about how she's riding his dick now when she complained about it earlier, but he's too busy cupping her breast and thumbing her nipple. Not too busy to say though, "Not at the moment here."
She clenches around him and digs her nails into his chest. "Rhetorical question, dumbass."
He makes the dick joke anyway.
characters: amy/dan
rating: r
summary: he doesn't set out to think about what her mother said, but suddenly it's the only thing on his mind. or fic where dan turns into a nervous freak and asks everyone around the office about amy.
author's notes: written post 2.02. oh these two.
It's not like he means to think about it.
"You broke her heart."
He doesn't do families, or meeting them, or hanging out with them, or families at all period; after all, he gave his parents a rerouted number to an empty mailbox when they wouldn't stop calling him after he moved to D.C. He'd been distracted enough by being inside a hospital with sick people breathing the same air as him, and then the sudden surprise of being in the room with Amy's parentals, to pay attention to what they'd actually said.
Only now he does later when they're back in the office and he's busy not looking at the emails in his inbox.
He tries to distract himself with that stupid bird game Jonah talks about. The little red fucker dies though.
He goes through his inbox.
Delete, scroll, forward, ignore, hide, delete.
"You broke her heart."
Fuck his life.
"What do you want," Gary asks and eyes him when Dan sidles up to him while he's busy stuffing the VP's back with about ten different lipsticks. Don't want another meltdown apparently over what shade to have.
"Uh," Dan looks away from the horrendous shade of plum he definitely doesn't know anything about. "How much does Amy talk to her parents?"
Gary debates between two different tubes before tossing the bad plum away over his shoulder. He pauses and then swings his face to look at him. "Why?"
He presses his lips together, thinking on the sudden gleam and interest in Gary's eyes. "No reason. Nice call on the plum, wouldn't want the VP looking like a sallow clown on TV."
His gait may be quick as he leaves, but it is not him fleeing.
"Hey, Mike, has Amy ever said anything about me?"
Mike's eating a calzone, part of it on his shirt already. He leans back in his chair, dangerously close to falling over, and looks up at Dan. "You mean like that time she said she'd like to put your dead body in the Potomac?"
"Uh."
"Or when she called you a dickface because that tie you wore two weeks ago looked like something a newbie on the Hill would wear trying to suck ass with the Senators?"
He'd liked that tie okay. It got him into Senator Dryhill's office, thank you fucking very much.
Dan hooks his the tip of shoe around Mike's rolling chair, jerking backwards. The chair topples over and Mike goes with it. "You have red sauce on your shirt, dickface."
"No."
"But, Sue, you like me-"
"No."
"Sue-"
"I said no."
"So remember when you asked about Amy-"
Dan tries hard to glare at Gary from the corner of his eye. "I never asked that."
"Yes you did."
"No."
"Are you two gossiping fucks back there going to pay attention or not? Because if not you can take your high school asses out," Selina shouts from behind her desk.
The VP's office isn't the best place for this.
Dan realizes the office maybe isn't the best place for this questioning at all.
Of course he doesn't realize this till after Amy corners him in the men's bathroom.
"You don't have a dick," he blurts out, thankful he's washing his hands and no one else is in here. They're really fucking up today. Someone's going to leak this all over the place. They're going to be the Hill gossip. Redo of Amy's fake abortion.
"If I did it'd be bigger than yours," Amy shoots back, checking over her shoulder to make sure no one's come through the door.
He scoffs and smirks. "You've seen my dick, you know that's not true."
Rolling her eyes, she mumbles under her breath, "Don't remind me."
His smirk only widens. "You liked it."
"What are you five?"
"You're the one in the men's room."
She makes a little growl noise in the back of her throat. Part of him finds it cute. The other part hopes she doesn't make good on her threat to put him in the Potomac. "What are you even doing in here?" he asks when he remembers not to stare at her mouth.
"Gary told me you've been asking about me to everyone."
Goddamn Gary.
"No I haven't." He's a liar today. Every day. He makes sure not to shred the paper towel in his hand.
She gives him the look she reserves for Mike when he's lying out of his ass about some screw up with the press. "Sue confirmed it."
Can't get any respect in the office.
She narrows her eyes at him under the fluorescent overhead lights. "This doesn't have anything to do with what my mother said does it?"
"No," he tries to keep his tone even. Failure as the vowel elongates too much.
"You're a shit liar, Dan."
"Do I look broken hearted to you?" Amy asks above him, knees braced on the bed on either side of his hips.
There's a joke about how she's riding his dick now when she complained about it earlier, but he's too busy cupping her breast and thumbing her nipple. Not too busy to say though, "Not at the moment here."
She clenches around him and digs her nails into his chest. "Rhetorical question, dumbass."
He makes the dick joke anyway.