you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
ahhh monday.
thanks to kmali for watching a movie with me and keeping me sane and not in fromt of my computer.
i am glad to have my peeps around. i actually had some of them around, but couldnt hang this weekend. friday was good. jen actually went to the radisson with us! i am kinda getting over the cost of that place, but i am glad we went all the same. ate a lot of good food this weekend too.
didn't sleep well Fri night. went out sat to walmart in bedford with j,j, and m. we spent some time there, i got tired and moody(moodier) and sat in the car. i knew i was being moody and i knew it would be ok, but i could not get it under wraps. decided to take a nap. the girls were (quietly) using my puter and i flaked. i just needed a little time in silence (like on antarctica or something). after a little nap, i felt much less homicidal.
found out will was having a party. i knew i wouldnt be invited b/c lew would be there...but i guess it sucks learning that people you started to care about don't care about you at all. that brought me down. tried to fight it. as we were all hanging out in fishnets or underwear or something, i started crashing. i was so sad because there was an apartment full of my friends and i couldn't just be happy with that. what else could i have wanted??
there was nothing i could do to solve it. i went home for a few minutes and laid on my bed a super sad person and felt alone and just sad. i couldn't place why exactly. i thought it was bad that i was feeling alone, yet i alienated myself from people.
i spent sunday mad at myself for letting my head and moods win. i hate/d that i coulndt just spend some chill time with my peeps.
my head is crazy again. i had almost a week of almost peace. it is sliding around some more. the worst part is that PMS is soon....that is gonna make or break me for sure.
9 days till the shrink. if i didn't have you all around me, i swear i would drop my basket. thank you.
thanks to kmali for watching a movie with me and keeping me sane and not in fromt of my computer.
i am glad to have my peeps around. i actually had some of them around, but couldnt hang this weekend. friday was good. jen actually went to the radisson with us! i am kinda getting over the cost of that place, but i am glad we went all the same. ate a lot of good food this weekend too.
didn't sleep well Fri night. went out sat to walmart in bedford with j,j, and m. we spent some time there, i got tired and moody(moodier) and sat in the car. i knew i was being moody and i knew it would be ok, but i could not get it under wraps. decided to take a nap. the girls were (quietly) using my puter and i flaked. i just needed a little time in silence (like on antarctica or something). after a little nap, i felt much less homicidal.
found out will was having a party. i knew i wouldnt be invited b/c lew would be there...but i guess it sucks learning that people you started to care about don't care about you at all. that brought me down. tried to fight it. as we were all hanging out in fishnets or underwear or something, i started crashing. i was so sad because there was an apartment full of my friends and i couldn't just be happy with that. what else could i have wanted??
there was nothing i could do to solve it. i went home for a few minutes and laid on my bed a super sad person and felt alone and just sad. i couldn't place why exactly. i thought it was bad that i was feeling alone, yet i alienated myself from people.
i spent sunday mad at myself for letting my head and moods win. i hate/d that i coulndt just spend some chill time with my peeps.
my head is crazy again. i had almost a week of almost peace. it is sliding around some more. the worst part is that PMS is soon....that is gonna make or break me for sure.
9 days till the shrink. if i didn't have you all around me, i swear i would drop my basket. thank you.