Its not finished...
I guess I knew this day would come, I just never wanted it to. My love for you is so strong I guess I honestly believed it would get us through anything. But I can't change your mind. I can't make you do something you don't want to. I can't convince you that love will get us through.
One day. That's all its been so far and I miss you terribly. I'm remembering the pain I felt when you were overseas for only a week and then coming back to me. Something I'm not looking forward to, especially knowing you aren't coming back to me. In only a few days you'll be gone again and I know I'll have to suffer alone. I know that will be hard for you too.
I have to respect your strength and honestly through all this. Thankyou for being gentle. Thankyou for still loving me. Thankyou for making the decision that I would never have the strength to make.
I don't really know what to do with myself yet. I don't want to make any rash choices. I don't want to change myself. I don't want to feel like my life is over. I don't want to move on though either. I just want to relax, do nothing, think nothing. I don't want to forget you, but I cry when I think about you and all the things I miss already and will miss in the future. I'm at a stalemate. Not moving forward, nor living in the past. Paused. For how long?
In the movie tonight was a great quote: "If it's not everything you wanted then it's not finished" (or something like that). It says a lot to me. Maybe it's not about us not being finished but me. I'm not finished, just paused.
Magik
One day. That's all its been so far and I miss you terribly. I'm remembering the pain I felt when you were overseas for only a week and then coming back to me. Something I'm not looking forward to, especially knowing you aren't coming back to me. In only a few days you'll be gone again and I know I'll have to suffer alone. I know that will be hard for you too.
I have to respect your strength and honestly through all this. Thankyou for being gentle. Thankyou for still loving me. Thankyou for making the decision that I would never have the strength to make.
I don't really know what to do with myself yet. I don't want to make any rash choices. I don't want to change myself. I don't want to feel like my life is over. I don't want to move on though either. I just want to relax, do nothing, think nothing. I don't want to forget you, but I cry when I think about you and all the things I miss already and will miss in the future. I'm at a stalemate. Not moving forward, nor living in the past. Paused. For how long?
In the movie tonight was a great quote: "If it's not everything you wanted then it's not finished" (or something like that). It says a lot to me. Maybe it's not about us not being finished but me. I'm not finished, just paused.
Magik