whoop de fuckin do cont.
to continue from before...
Then there's the fact that i'm getting really pissed off at myself. Majorly pissed. I mean, in the past week, I've almost lost him twice, and therefore, I'm in major defense mode. I know, or at least hope, that ni wont lose him again, but I get jealous twice as easy and I'm a lot more cautious about what i say so that i dont upset him. I want to be spontaneous and do crazy stuff, but I'm just really, really, fuckin' scared. It's a stupid reflex of mine. And on top of that, I have discovered that when I'm stressed out and pissed off, I am a compulsive over-eater. So those are two problems that i'm working on fixing, but it's not working especially well, especially with the first problem.
AND because of EVERYTHING, I've had a lot less patience with things and people. It's really stupid, and no excuse, I know, but, gaaaaah. Shit man, everyone I know, their relationships are falling apart, and i dont want to be next, and im so scared that i will be. It's killing me here!!!!!
i want to see him so badly on sunday, but does he want to see me? i don't know.
Then there's the fact that i'm getting really pissed off at myself. Majorly pissed. I mean, in the past week, I've almost lost him twice, and therefore, I'm in major defense mode. I know, or at least hope, that ni wont lose him again, but I get jealous twice as easy and I'm a lot more cautious about what i say so that i dont upset him. I want to be spontaneous and do crazy stuff, but I'm just really, really, fuckin' scared. It's a stupid reflex of mine. And on top of that, I have discovered that when I'm stressed out and pissed off, I am a compulsive over-eater. So those are two problems that i'm working on fixing, but it's not working especially well, especially with the first problem.
AND because of EVERYTHING, I've had a lot less patience with things and people. It's really stupid, and no excuse, I know, but, gaaaaah. Shit man, everyone I know, their relationships are falling apart, and i dont want to be next, and im so scared that i will be. It's killing me here!!!!!
i want to see him so badly on sunday, but does he want to see me? i don't know.