(no subject)
A lot has happened.
Anthony and I broke up for good. I mean for good. It's kind of saddening because I miss the phone calls...the nights out (when he would actually take me out), just the little things. I don't know if I miss him neccesarily, but I miss the aspect of that. I've been sick over it the past week or two..I really haven't eaten much but I know that I will get better with time. My mom told me last night that time heals everything. I guess she is right, so why don't I feel healed somewhat yet? I just wish sometimes things were different. Or things happened different. Like on Anthony's away message it says, There were some dirty sluts at daytona, OH YEAH. and then in his profile it says Single and Loving it...which kind of makes me wonder, was he in the relationship for real reasons? Or just for the obvious? I think back in my mind he really does miss me and is hurting, but what he yelled to Sam and I that night I will never forget...I'm just...upset. I hope he finds someone who treats him right, and does what I did for him and doesn't yell back when she gets yelled at because he really doesn't know how good he had it with me. And I probably don't realize how good I had it with him. Just...I know the relationship wasn't healthy, it was sick. For a year and a half I tried and tried and fucking tried, i got no-where. And I guess he didn't notice that I was hurting. Just like he had to act hard in front of his friend when I went over there to get my senior project CD its just, retarded. And I think I could probably do better...I hope I can at least. I'm looking forward to my journey single and meeting new people, experiencing new things. But for right now, I'm miserable.
Anthony and I broke up for good. I mean for good. It's kind of saddening because I miss the phone calls...the nights out (when he would actually take me out), just the little things. I don't know if I miss him neccesarily, but I miss the aspect of that. I've been sick over it the past week or two..I really haven't eaten much but I know that I will get better with time. My mom told me last night that time heals everything. I guess she is right, so why don't I feel healed somewhat yet? I just wish sometimes things were different. Or things happened different. Like on Anthony's away message it says, There were some dirty sluts at daytona, OH YEAH. and then in his profile it says Single and Loving it...which kind of makes me wonder, was he in the relationship for real reasons? Or just for the obvious? I think back in my mind he really does miss me and is hurting, but what he yelled to Sam and I that night I will never forget...I'm just...upset. I hope he finds someone who treats him right, and does what I did for him and doesn't yell back when she gets yelled at because he really doesn't know how good he had it with me. And I probably don't realize how good I had it with him. Just...I know the relationship wasn't healthy, it was sick. For a year and a half I tried and tried and fucking tried, i got no-where. And I guess he didn't notice that I was hurting. Just like he had to act hard in front of his friend when I went over there to get my senior project CD its just, retarded. And I think I could probably do better...I hope I can at least. I'm looking forward to my journey single and meeting new people, experiencing new things. But for right now, I'm miserable.