Howince Fic
A fic that I wrote while I was bored over the holidays. Lots of huggy thanks to Iz as she helped loads with this one as I have no concept of grammar or spelling :P Comments would be muchly appreciated <3
Summary: Vince and Howard's relationship develops after a shock story for Vince :0
Disclaimer: I own a lovely pair of silver converse but not these characters and not the show though I wish I did
Rating: 15 (?) Not good at ratings, or titles for that matter
Enjoy!
As Vince was sharply awoken by a loud knocking sound from the other side of his bedroom door
“‘Urry up Vince. We’ve gotta be outa here in ten minuets”
“Uh...” Vince half spoke half mumbled from the safety of his duvet
“Are you even ready yet?”
Vince slowly brushed the sleep from his eyes and realised what was going on. That was Naboo’s voice coming from the other side of the door. The gig! He was meant to have been up ages ago
“Look Naboo, I know I said I’d come but I’m not feeling so good. I didn’t even bother to put my straightners on this mornin’. Sorry mate.” Said Vince, though it came out faster than he’d expected.
“Fine. See y’u later then” called Naboo. He sounded relaxed but Vince could tell that Naboo was hacked off with him really. He had been counting on him to make a surprise appearance.
But Vince didn’t care what Naboo thought right now. The only person he cared about, had ever cared about, was lying right next to him. It was at this moment that Vince heard the door shut downstairs and he wondered how Howard couldn’t have woken up through all that.
Vince settled down again and shuffled in closer to Howard. As he rested his head in the crook of Howards arm and almost immediately the body moved and gave a slight moan. Finally Howard was awake.
“Umm... Mornin’” Said Howard yawning and stretching
“Alright” Vince spoke softly this time as he knew Howard well enough to know he didn’t like noise first thing in the morning. “You sleep alright?” asked Vince planting a small kiss on the end of Howard’s nose
“Best night’s sleep in years” said Howard smiling softly. Vince loved it when he did that. He loved all of Howard but his little half-smiles had to be up in the top five. Vince, while trying to rank his favourite things about Howard, lay on his lover’s chest. Holding him tight like he never wanted to let him go. Never. His breathing was strong and rhythmic and before Vince knew it he was asleep, but not for long. He awoke about half an hour later only slightly less dazed than the first time.
“Morning little man” Howard beamed down at him. It was good to see him awake again. Although Howard liked when Vince was asleep as he was quiet and tranquil and he could sit there for hours to watch him sleep. However, it was when Vince was sleeping or out of the flat that Howard realised how boring, how awful, his life would be without his little electro poof mate. Howard made a bet to himself that he couldn’t last a week without Vince, he’d probably struggle with anything over twenty four hours. Then an odd thing happened. Howard looked at Vince and saw him actually thinking. It was definitely an odd moment. Howard could see that Vince wasn’t just thinking about the next edition of Cheekbone magazine, or what to wear today or even how cool it would be to have a pilot’s licence like Gary Numan. This was Vince actually thinking about something deeper than that. Something true to his heart.
“What you thinking about little man?”
“Um.... What?” Vince said as he returned from a trance-like state
“You. What you thinking’ about little man? Eh?” Howard questioned once more as he didn’t think Vince had heard the first time
“You. Me. Us You know. Stuff.” Vince smiled coyly
“Like what stuff” quizzed Howard. He was eager now. He wanted to know exactly what was racing through Vince’s brain crammed in there with the many thoughts on new outfits and Chelsea boots and glitter.
“Last night for one...” Vince smiled before leaning over to kiss Howard, reminding him of the night before. The night that changed everything between him and Vince. He even remembered Vince’s face earlier that day. It killed him inside. Like being stabbed through the heart every time he had to blink. To close his eyes only to open them again and see the same expression.
Now it was Howards own turn to be brought from a trance.
“Oi! I told you now you hav’ to tell me what you were just thinking about” Vince looked at him cheekily knowing Howard would soon tell him. Howard trusted him. 11 years. 11years of the ‘don’t ever touch me’ rule. Vince somehow knew that it was nothing to do with the hatred of skin contact or the possibility of germs. Vince knew it was deeper than that. It was trust. For as long as he had known him Howard had never trusted anyone really. None of his mates. No girl (not that there had been that many). Not even his own parents really, if Howard was having one of his rare bad days the no touching rule would apply to them too. The closest Howard had ever got to trust before last night was when Vince told him about finally kissing that girl he liked back in high school. When Vince told him that, shared that with him in private, Howard had felt, well.... special. That was when Howard started to trust Vince.
“I was thinking about last night” Howard smiled and looked away to the back corner of Vince’s room. Vince knew he wasn’t always the brightest of buttons but he knew Howard better than he knew the back catalogue of Gary Numan.
“Really Howard its fine. I’d feel much better if you just told me.” Vince looked at him almost pleading for Howard to take down the boundary. There was nothing left to hide.
“I was thinking about how I felt when I saw you up on the roof. How I wanted to hold you. Pick you up in my arms and rock you like a baby until you had cried all you needed to. How I’d kinda always felt how I do now and that up on the roof yesterday proved it, reinforced it. It made me love you more than all the emotion I ever felt....” Howard tailed off breathless due to the speed at which he had talked. Fortunately Vince was used to speed shopping so understood most of it.
Vince was speechless at what he’d just been told. He didn’t think he could love Howard more for what he had just done. In all the time Vince had known Howard he had never done anything like that. Never had Howard fearlessly left from his constant emotional cage. There was only one thing for him to say. One thing he could say. “Thank you” he said resting back onto his chest listening to him breathing. Who would have thought that Claire would bring them so close? And so fast.
“Vince?” Howard mumbled as he broke the long silence. They had been in the same position of Vince lying on his chest with him playing with his hair, smoothing it back down and repeating for a while now. Howard suddenly realised he had lost track of the time.
“Umm..?” Howard could tell that Vince was slowly drifting off to sleep.
“What you going to do about Claire?” the caution not to hurt Vince was obvious in Howard’s voice
“I don’t know really....” Vince trailed off remembering what had happened only yesterday morning...
~Earlier that morning~
Howard was standing behind the counter absent-mindedly flicking through the latest copy of the Global Explorer. He was so interested in an article on tweed backpacks made to order that he barely noticed when someone walked into the shop. It was a lazy summer afternoon and to be honest then the heat was making Howard feel sleepy. He didn’t have the energy to look up, let alone pay too much attention to what they were saying.
A woman’s voice floated down but he didn’t quite hear all of what she said, something along the lines of “I’m here to see Vince. Is he around?”
The pain of hearing another one of Vince’s lady friends visiting him stung Howard. It was a pain he was used to now. Now it was almost like stubbing a numb toe on a table.
“Yeah. He’s probably upstairs somewhere” Howard mumbled gesturing toward the stairs
“Okay. Thanks...” the voice seemed to leave a lingering pause as if unsure but when Howard looked up all he saw was a floaty green maxi dress and the back of a blonde bob. As if to cure the woman of her inhibitions a series of thudding noises indicated and Vince Noir was about to come down the stairs. As his head started to appear Howard noticed the child-like excitement drain slowly from his face. He’d been issued a death sentence right there. Howard was worried now. Vince never acted like this around girls.
“Hello Claire.” The words where were blunt and hung on the air.
“Hi Vince.” Her back still turned. Claire. Now Howard remembered. How could he forget? Claire was Vince’s longest relationship, probably in his whole life. Claire met Vince through a friend and soon they became much more than friends. This time though it was different to most of Vince’s other relationships, normally Vince would meet a girl, date her for two weeks max and then chuck her. Politely of course, always being a gentleman, but getting chucked was getting chucked all the same. This was different. They went out for nearly six months before the big fight. Vince found out she’d gotten off with some old band member of Vince’s at a party. That sparked it. Nearly three hours of non-stop fighting. She told him he was too protective of her, she couldn’t breathe. He wasn’t worth the effort sometimes. In a moment of pure rage Vince asked why she was still around. She shouted that she didn’t know. She stormed out slamming the door behind her. And that was the first time Howard TJ Moon had heard his best friend Vince cry himself to sleep.
For as long as Howard had known him Vince had never had a ‘down day’. His bad moods only lasted as long as a trip to Topshop. But Howard knew that this was serious. He didn’t know if Vince had loved Claire but if he hadn’t, he’d certainly got close to love. Howard would have done anything to stop Vince crying that night cause he knew that with every sob another piece of his heart broke.
“What do you want?” Vince’s voice was clear and sharp like a blade of ice. Howard could see the temptation to add ‘you bitch’. That was what Vince really thought.
Now this was the moment that changed it. The tone to Vince’s voice; his thoughts, his whole perfect world, and his sweetly naive ways.
Claire turned round to reveal red eyes and a large bump under her dress. A small tear rolled down her cheek. Vince froze. Howard froze. As far as they knew time itself had stopped.
Howard stood up taller letting Vince know he was there for him. A single look and he would make an excuse for him. Get him away. Vince stepped forward like a scared animal, afraid of going too near to the river’s edge.
“...” Vince had opened his mouth to speak but no words were said. “How long...Y’u know” his voice cracked and was hushed and it was like he couldn’t quite bring himself to say it.
“I’m nearly six months now” she cradled her stomach as she spoke.
At that point Vince breathed in so sharply that he started to cough. After he had recovered from his fit Vince’s voice asked a question that Howard knew he would regret
“Why?” His voice was soft now, like he was trying to coax the answer out of her. “Why now? Why not five months ago?” Vince voice was raised now and Howard sensed the anger behind it. After all, this was the woman who broke his heart and now it was like she’d returned to stamp all over the pieces.
“Because... I didn’t know if it was yours” her voice shattered her head bowing as she started to cry.
Yep, stamp, stamp, stampity, stamp.
Vince became motionless. He was stopped in time, shattered and alone. He needed Howard now. He needed that excuse. That escape route.
“Vince, why don’t you continue packing and I’ll get Claire a drink and then she’ll be on her way? You can sit down tomorrow and talk this whole thing over. Yeah?” Claire nodded through the sobs. At least, Howard thought it was a nod.
“Yeah... um... okay then” Vince was border lining on tears. His voice was small, forced and robot like.
“Packing?” Claire asked
“Yeah... I’m... I’m going into hospital for a few days.” Howard lied as Vince dragged himself upstairs. Howard didn’t feel particularly good about lying but knew it was for Vince’s sake. It was for a good cause.
After half an hour sat with hot cups of tea trying to calm Claire down then telling her to drop by around two tomorrow to talk things over and then bidding her goodbye Howard went in search of Vince. He looked in the living room, in Vince’s room, in Vince’s wardrobe (because that’s where he hid most often. He liked to curl up in there with the different fabrics and colours when he was upset). Howard couldn’t find him anywhere and it had been nearly an hour since he last saw him. He was worried now. It was getting darker and as the summer came to its end the nights became very cold. If Vince wasn’t in the flat there’s only one place he could be. The roof.
Howard saw his white Chelsea boots as he squeezed through the hatch which was once a skylight. With no damage done Howard managed to climb up to sit about a foot away from Vince.
“Hey. It’s getting cold. You might wanna come indoors now little man. Come on...” Howard wobbled as he spoke. He wasn’t as nimble or balanced as Vince. Howard slowly shifted closer to him trying very hard to balance his weight. Howard gave Vince what he hoped was a comforting smile. But Vince had been drained of all emotion. He didn’t even look up. He just sat there with that look on his face. It was a terrible thing. Howard had only once seen Vince look like this before. And that was back when he was 14 and Vince’s foster mum got cancer. The day he found out he looked exactly as he did now. Vince wasn’t angry or upset or frightened. He was just insecure.
Howard tentatively reached out and put a hand on Vince’s shoulder. It was cold and stiff. He just wanted to cradle Vince. Right there on the roof and just let him weep or scream. Howard just wanted to rock him till he fell asleep. Maybe then, he would be okay.
“Jesus Vince. You’re freezin’. Come ‘ere little man” Howard drew one arm around Vince’s shoulders and pulled him slightly closer to him. Vince moved in and burrowed his face into Howard and started to shake. Howard didn’t know if it was him shivering or tears but he decided that getting Vince inside would be a good thing. “Come on let’s get you inside little man.” Howard had to carefully drag Vince from his spot, down through the skylight and into Vince’s room.
“I’m really cold” whispered Vince.
“That’s ‘cause you were sat up there for ages. Change into something else and I’ll make you some tea and find some biscuits” Howard willed for Vince to pull himself together long enough to change and maybe fall asleep tonight. Vince nodded and swallowed a lump that appeared to be stuck in his throat.
Howard made two cups of tea and set out a plate of Jammy Dodgers. Just as he set them down on the table Vince slowly emerged from his room. Howard was astonished by what he was wearing. Vince was wearing a pair of baggy denim jeans that were worn and faded in places and a long cream jumper with an owl on the front that, Howard thought, probably came from the women’s department. Vince hair was matted and windswept. Howard didn’t mind that he looked a mess but he thought Vince still looked as beautiful as he ever did.
Vince shuffled over, smiled at the plate of Jammy Dodgers and silently sat down next to Howard. After five or so minutes of sipping tea and nibbling at the biscuits, Vince spoke. It was the closest he’d got to his normal voice all day and - to Howard - it was a wonderful sound.
“Can we put some music on?” Vince asked opening his eyes in a pleading manner
“Yeah, sure. The Human League?” Howard asked as he knew that listening to their voices always cheered him up
Vince was amazed that Howard had even remembered the band’s name let alone offer to play them. He nodded slowly as Howard put the CD in the player and waited for the complaints about the electro beat or the fact there was no freestyle ‘not like Jazz. Jazz has scat’ - Vince could hear Howard saying it in his head. Why not? He said it often enough. But as the first song started to play and Howard said nothing Vince realised that this was all for him. That Howard understood him better than he did most of the time. He looked up at Howard turning round and nearly knocking over his saxophone case. He saw him in a new light like he’d never seen him before.
As Howard walked backwards and spun round about two feet from the sofa he almost hit Vince in the face.
“Oh Vince! You okay?” Howard was trying to see if he’d actually hit Vince or not
“Much better thanks” Vince moved closer hoping Howard wouldn’t walk around him like he did with others. Vince hoped he was special.
Howard was relieved, Vince was returning to his normal ways and on this occasion he didn’t mind that Vince was quite close to him now. To be perfectly honest it was others that had caused the dislike of closeness, not Vince. In fact he quiet liked it when Vince moved closer. It gave him the same feeling Howard got when Vince touched his bare skin.
Vince decided he had come this far and he wasn’t going to turn back now. He moved closer, his woolly jumper almost touching Howard.
Howard was confused now. What was going on? Vince didn’t normally get so close to people. Especially not Howard.
Vince moved closer until their bodies just touched. Howard’s pulse was racing, his head was spinning. He could feel Vince’s quickened heartbeat through his chest. Breathe. He told himself. Breathe.
“You know your party... on the roof... I just realised I was your first kiss...” Vince whispered so softly that Howard only just heard him. Vince had come so far. It would be pointless not to finish things now. Without his platform boots Vince had to stand on his tippy-toes to reach Howard but that wasn’t going to hold him back.
Vince almost fell back with the feeling of kissing Howard. It was like the best adrenalin kick ever. The softness of their lips touching, as two people became one. Vince moved his hands to rest on the back of Howard neck.
Vince’s slightly cold hands were all it took to make Howard see sense. He, Howard Moon, was in love with his best friend , and always had been. He had just never grasped it. Until now.
Although Vince’s head was reeling he was getting ready for Howard to push him away. To yell at him and to call him a freak and never let the incident go. Moments after their lips touched Vince prepared himself for the harsh words of his bewildered best friend. But to his surprise he felt pressure, one equal to his own and he loved it, could it be that Vince’s emotions were not one sided?
They broke free for a minute but one look into each other’s eyes was all it took and they were kissing once more. This time more passionate, they slowly moved back before Howard stumbled back onto the retro black and white sofa. As they flopped down Howard pulled away
“Vince, are you sure you want this, you sure you want me?” Howard looked into Vince’s huge blue eyes knowing that he couldn’t lie to him
“Howard.” Vince looked into his eyes, as small as they were and let all he felt pour out of him “Howard. You don’t even know how much you mean to me. Without you I really don’t know what I’d do, I would be miserable on a good day. All I need is you. The only thing I ever wanted was you. If you were to ever leave I know that I wouldn’t last a day without you. I still remember the first day I met you. You have no idea what I feel about you now compared to what I felt then. When I touch you have no idea how fast my heart races. When I see you, this void in me suddenly fills and your smile lights up my world. When I’m with you I feel different. I feel like I can breathe.” It was a bit of a rush of words. Vince hadn’t looked at Howard through any of that, scared of his reaction.
Vince slowly opened one eye and looked at Howard the same way you watch a scary bit in a movie. Howard was smiling. Howard was beaming
“’n’ I’m not just sayin’ th-“ Vince was cut off by a kiss. Vince relaxed knowing that Howard loved him too. It made him feel warm inside to know something like that. The kisses got more passionate as time went by and as Howard shifted his weight Vince kissed his neck which made him feel like a spark had just gone through him. Again and again Howard gave slight moans with each new kiss. Vince turned his head inviting Howard to return the favour. Howard kissed once, twice, three times, slowly making his way down Vince’s neck towards his shoulder. Howard felt Vince’s hand slide to his chest and continued to work his way down. After a few small moans from Vince he lightly pushed Howard up.
“ What is it?” asked Howard as he watched Vince get up off the sofa.
Vince slowly took Howard’s hand and led him across the living room
“Vince... What’s going on? Where are you going?” Howard enquired
“To my room” Vince said with a coy smile and a bite at his bottom lip “Coming?”
Vince pushed open the door and led Howard in by a loosely held hand. Howard hadn’t seen the inside of Vince’s room for nearly 3 years now. It hadn’t changed much but it looked better now, bathed in moonlight.
Vince lay down on the bed still lightly touching Howard’s hand. Howard let himself be slowly pulled downwards into a long tender kiss. As they got more into it a loud noise came from downstairs and they sprung apart in a blink in case it was Naboo and Bollo returning from one of their gigs. After a few moments Vince leaned back in for a kiss but Howard started to get up. Even if it wasn’t Naboo and Bollo, it was something.
“Never mind that... Howard?” Vince was still clinging to him, willing him to come back and forget it.
Howard slowly walked down the stairs smoothing his hair and shirt down. When he entered the shop only to find that the shelf behind the counter had collapsed again he felt rather miffed. But at least he got to finish whatever he had going with Vince at the moment. As he entered Vince’s room again he found him sitting on the edge of his bed swinging his legs in childlike fashion.
“And....?” It was like Vince knew it was nothing, almost smug. Howard loved that look.
“It was nothing” Howard smiled and leaned over Vince kissing him on the forehead.
“Good” Vince pulled Howard back down, Howard still not totally comfortable trying to keep at least an inch or so between them. They continued to kiss, and Howard liked the taste of Vince’s raspberry lipgloss as Vince ran his hands through his fine brown hair. Suddenly his hand moved to Howard’s chest and fiddled with his shirt, idly at first but then Howard felt a slight cold air to his chest and realised that two of his buttons were undone. A sense of panic crept through him filling his throat.
“Vince” he whispered pushing his body away to look into Vince’s eyes. “Vince. You remember I h-hav... I’m s-still...”
Vince looked back at him and slowly, tentatively stroked his cheek. “I know Howard. It’s okay, I promise we’ll take it steady. It’s okay” he finished that with a small kiss that made Howard relax into Vince, finally feeling safe. He relaxed again, leaning into him. He met hardness the same to his own and it sparked something inside him. Like fireworks, like butterflies. Like a deep feeling that made him give a deep moan. As Vince pushed his body against him he moaned again, long and deep.
Vince moved his lips to Howard’s ear and quietly whispered “ Tell me something dirty”
Now Howard was truly worried, he had never talked dirty before, let alone to Vince. “I- I don’t know how” he whispered back trying not to sound to nervous.
“Just tell me... stuff. Just make it sound sexy okay?”
“Okay... Erm. You’re so addictive, I want you now. I want all of you. For ever, just me and you and the rest of the world. I need you.” Howard hoped it was good enough.
He soon found the answer as Vince gave a little sigh and nuzzled into Howards neck kissing it up and down. More. Howard needed more. Vince laid his head back inviting Howard to do the same. Howard kissed his neck once, twice, three times moving slowly down and then back up again making Vince whimper with each kiss until Howard gave a light nibble to Vince’s ear. Vince gave a deep moan, wrapping his legs round Howard’s waist, hurryingly unbuttoning more of his shirt. Clinging to his neck, holding himself up, hovering off the mattress. Howard slipped his hand up Vince’s jumper tugging it off his slender frame making Vince squeal with anticipation. Vince managed to remove Howard’s awful corduroy trousers with no trouble. Howard was less experienced and fumbled with the button on Vince’s jeans.
They were here now, skin on skin contact. Howard let Vince take the lead but soon got into his stride. He kept a steady and rhythmic rocking pace that made Vince cling to him. Made him groan lustfully.
And that was how things started, and the evening (technically morning now) ended. Vince curled up on Howard’s chest in a deep sleep, eyelids fluttering as he breathed in and out. Howard felt whole for the first time in years. He felt complete.