anger, toxic masculinity
10/08/14
Time for my weekly overshare. I may get rambly, ranty, preachy, overly negative. I'm in a weird space.
Finally getting an MRI on my wrist today. I've been putting it off for a while. I'm quite scared and stressed about it.
It's so illogical. The only thing that is going to happen is (hopefully) finally knowing what is actually wrong with it... but there's soooo much shame piled on top of this issue, there's no room for logic. Just years and years and years of unhealthy, unmanaged emotion.
Some backstory if you're unaware is I have an anger problem. Thanks largely to our societal pressure as men to not express our emotions and especially not to cry. I spent most my life unable to cry.
So I bottled it up, turned it into anger. Anger is just about the only socially acceptable emotion for men to express. Eventually it got to where an angering event would make me feel so overloaded with rage I would punch a wall, a door, or whatever. Then that just made me more angry and ashamed in the long run and it became a very fun vicious cycle.
Do yourself a favor and stop promoting this bullshit macho mentality. It's easier to subscribe to than you might think. It ranges from aggressively calling people a bitch/pussy/wuss/chicken/pansy, to jokingly jabbing at your bro friend "don't cry about it." Oh and the idea of telling someone to "man up" can also go fuck itself. Stop saying that. Yes, sometimes people are being cowardly and need a reality check. No, it doesn't need to be some destructive antiquated assault on someone's masculinity.
I feel like a lot of men think that feminism/misogyny is not their concern because they are not women and it doesn't affect them. The truth is you're half feminine. I don't care how disconnected you are with that half. Even just using words like bitch and cunt contribute to this problem.
I have zero tolerance for this shit. The next person I see or hear shaming someone for having HUMAN qualities is not getting off scot-free. This behavior is unacceptable.
I am so like... flooded with emotions associated with this injury. Everything is making me mad for no apparent reason. I feel weird and ashamed and even a little depressed. I've been using this injury as a way to hold myself back and I'm tired of it.
I'm seriously so grumpy for no reason at the moment it's awkward. Hahahahah. I'm gonna go enable some escapist behaviors and do my neglected sidework for the night.
Time for my weekly overshare. I may get rambly, ranty, preachy, overly negative. I'm in a weird space.
Finally getting an MRI on my wrist today. I've been putting it off for a while. I'm quite scared and stressed about it.
It's so illogical. The only thing that is going to happen is (hopefully) finally knowing what is actually wrong with it... but there's soooo much shame piled on top of this issue, there's no room for logic. Just years and years and years of unhealthy, unmanaged emotion.
Some backstory if you're unaware is I have an anger problem. Thanks largely to our societal pressure as men to not express our emotions and especially not to cry. I spent most my life unable to cry.
So I bottled it up, turned it into anger. Anger is just about the only socially acceptable emotion for men to express. Eventually it got to where an angering event would make me feel so overloaded with rage I would punch a wall, a door, or whatever. Then that just made me more angry and ashamed in the long run and it became a very fun vicious cycle.
Do yourself a favor and stop promoting this bullshit macho mentality. It's easier to subscribe to than you might think. It ranges from aggressively calling people a bitch/pussy/wuss/chicken/pansy, to jokingly jabbing at your bro friend "don't cry about it." Oh and the idea of telling someone to "man up" can also go fuck itself. Stop saying that. Yes, sometimes people are being cowardly and need a reality check. No, it doesn't need to be some destructive antiquated assault on someone's masculinity.
I feel like a lot of men think that feminism/misogyny is not their concern because they are not women and it doesn't affect them. The truth is you're half feminine. I don't care how disconnected you are with that half. Even just using words like bitch and cunt contribute to this problem.
I have zero tolerance for this shit. The next person I see or hear shaming someone for having HUMAN qualities is not getting off scot-free. This behavior is unacceptable.
I am so like... flooded with emotions associated with this injury. Everything is making me mad for no apparent reason. I feel weird and ashamed and even a little depressed. I've been using this injury as a way to hold myself back and I'm tired of it.
I'm seriously so grumpy for no reason at the moment it's awkward. Hahahahah. I'm gonna go enable some escapist behaviors and do my neglected sidework for the night.