I should've known it was wednesday.
Why do i get so tired from carrying things up stairs? Not the breathing heavy exhausted tired. But a weary "i'm just going to sit now" that i haven't even done any real lifting to earn. My heart was jumping fast and light like a rabbits. Now it's slowed down but it's still going 100 beats per minute and it's even lighter, i can barely feel it. It's hot and i'm dizzy but i left the window open, i know it should be cold enough for even me. I want the heart medication back i want to stop feeling like this. Speaking of medication i'd like the sleep medication to. I'm tired of hurting myself in my sleep. It sucks. Well, insurance is finally straightened out, and i have an appointment tomorrow. Happy happy panda. Give me back my fix-panda drugs.
I feel old. I feel tired and worn. Places are hurting that never hurt before, and in ways they never hurt. My left forearm, the tendons there have been doing... strange things. Lots of new, strange pain. Lots. It's like i'm looking at myself in the mirror and the rot sinks the skin from under and then seeps through and i decay in fast-motion like some b horror flick. Really feeling the entroy tonight.
But, while i sat here composing this morbid monolouge, a friend got online and told me he heard me call. It.. startled me a bit. But it's very touching. And maybe i do think loud, but it's still nice to know that someone was listening...
I feel old. I feel tired and worn. Places are hurting that never hurt before, and in ways they never hurt. My left forearm, the tendons there have been doing... strange things. Lots of new, strange pain. Lots. It's like i'm looking at myself in the mirror and the rot sinks the skin from under and then seeps through and i decay in fast-motion like some b horror flick. Really feeling the entroy tonight.
But, while i sat here composing this morbid monolouge, a friend got online and told me he heard me call. It.. startled me a bit. But it's very touching. And maybe i do think loud, but it's still nice to know that someone was listening...