Wanna pass out, already
Stupid chest cold, hurts to breathe, can't even lay down and still breathe properly. how'm i gonna sleep? bastiches. man it's hot in here. i suppose three computers and a halogen lamp will do that. it's strange, there's shooting pain in my left wrist right now, a nice change from the aching rot. there was a character in the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy that it always rained on. he came up with classifications for hundreds of types of rain. i should do that with pain. i'm happy. despite the trouble breathing and all that. i like my life. i'm happy to be alive. amazing. i forgot how this felt.. i like it. a lot.
i remember this, now. i remember the Wonder. i remember what i lacked, now, these past dark years. no balance. pain is beautiful, but pain will rot you, if you stay there too long. i remember living life from one extreme to the next in a beautiful cacophony of brilliance. it's what i forgot, it's what i remember now. loving the pain isn't the dangerous part, it's that i've gotten lost in it so bad of late.
i just discovered the answer to a question that's been tormenting me. it's reminded me to live without hesitation. and i get the feeling this is gonna hurt. hell, it's hurting already. but if you do it right, the pain really is only reminding you you're alive, and giving meaning to the heights of joy. everything is relative, and i couldn't cripple my emotions anymore than i'd cripple my body.
i remember this, now. i remember the Wonder. i remember what i lacked, now, these past dark years. no balance. pain is beautiful, but pain will rot you, if you stay there too long. i remember living life from one extreme to the next in a beautiful cacophony of brilliance. it's what i forgot, it's what i remember now. loving the pain isn't the dangerous part, it's that i've gotten lost in it so bad of late.
i just discovered the answer to a question that's been tormenting me. it's reminded me to live without hesitation. and i get the feeling this is gonna hurt. hell, it's hurting already. but if you do it right, the pain really is only reminding you you're alive, and giving meaning to the heights of joy. everything is relative, and i couldn't cripple my emotions anymore than i'd cripple my body.