Adventures in Babysitting
I've always known that I won't make a very good parent. I'm ok with the fact that I will be an awesome aunt. But it wasn't until I was babysitting the neighbors that I realized I'm really not even a very good babysitter.
I was only supposed to watch the kids for 2 hours while their parents went to a meeting. In the course of two hours I managed not only to let the 1-year old injur himself but I also corrupted their poor innocent minds.
It goes a littel something like this:
- The 1-year old was playing on the floor while his 2 1/2-year old bro was playing on the couch. Well bro decided to roll off the couch and landed on his brother causing the baby to sit with both his legs and face against the ground. Ouch.
- We decided to watch one of those Baby Genius videos with colors and animals and shit. While the kids were watching the video, I went to the kitchen to fix dinner. The tape ended and the VCR shut off. What was left for their adolescent minds to absorb was an excellent episode of Jerry Springer where the topic was "My Transexual Partner, Our Love Life, and Our Clueless Partners". Aka - white-trash transexuals making out and beating up other people on the stage. Awesome.
- And finally, as I was making dinner, I burnt my hand on the stove and managed to let a small explitive escape. I immediately checked to make sure that the kids were still watching TV (though not knowing they were entranced in daytime television's finest) and didn't pick up on my mistake. It wasn't until right before the parents got home that little Jed (the 1-year old) started toddling around the house saying "Shit!" to everything that he came across. Great, hopefully Mom and Dad will think he's saying "Sit".
Alas, a spinster I will be.
I was only supposed to watch the kids for 2 hours while their parents went to a meeting. In the course of two hours I managed not only to let the 1-year old injur himself but I also corrupted their poor innocent minds.
It goes a littel something like this:
- The 1-year old was playing on the floor while his 2 1/2-year old bro was playing on the couch. Well bro decided to roll off the couch and landed on his brother causing the baby to sit with both his legs and face against the ground. Ouch.
- We decided to watch one of those Baby Genius videos with colors and animals and shit. While the kids were watching the video, I went to the kitchen to fix dinner. The tape ended and the VCR shut off. What was left for their adolescent minds to absorb was an excellent episode of Jerry Springer where the topic was "My Transexual Partner, Our Love Life, and Our Clueless Partners". Aka - white-trash transexuals making out and beating up other people on the stage. Awesome.
- And finally, as I was making dinner, I burnt my hand on the stove and managed to let a small explitive escape. I immediately checked to make sure that the kids were still watching TV (though not knowing they were entranced in daytime television's finest) and didn't pick up on my mistake. It wasn't until right before the parents got home that little Jed (the 1-year old) started toddling around the house saying "Shit!" to everything that he came across. Great, hopefully Mom and Dad will think he's saying "Sit".
Alas, a spinster I will be.