Ranting and Raving
Because this journal entry is so long... and because it's mainly about nothing... I'm putting it under a cut. Feel free to skip this one!
Well, my mom was offered a job in Washington DC yesterday. She told the people that she would take the job "tentatively". She feels that she needs to talk to all of us first and find out how we feel about the entire situation.
I told her that I think it's a good idea for her to take it. I mean, it's definitely a better place for her to be. She'll have a job security that is definitely not the case here. I know she's having a lot of problems with people at work. But I understand her concern with leaving my sisters and me here. I know that my mom considers us her world. She already said that she's going to miss us so much. Hell, Sam and Courtney live two towns over and she misses them like crazy. She said she felt the same way when I was living closer to school. So, she just doesn't know... She also said that she was going to be back every weekend. But you know how things happen... and one weekend missed turns into two weeks... then a month. But for the time being, it would be nice to have her around. (That is if she takes the job...)
The weird thing is- we just moved into this house. Just about two months... and already she's going to have to leave. It seems that we moved out of our house to move here because we were getting sick (literally) from living there. So, we move here and absolutely love it here. But then, a job offer comes to her in which she's going to leave? How is that for fate?
We had talked about if both of us were going to head down to VA or if just one of us. She thinks it's better that I stay here. She says all my "connections" with interpreting are here. Though, I think Washington would be better career wise. There's a HUGE Deaf population there. Not to mention, Gallaudet University is there as well!
But I agree that all my ties are here for the moment. I can always move down there later. I just have to establish myself first. And it's better to do it closer to "home" than to venture out too far without really knowing what in the hell you're doing. Sink or swim, right? Things definitely fall into place rather strangely...
Other than that, my computer is down. I've needed to use my mother's until I can get mine back from Best Buy. I'm running some errands today. I'm hoping to drop it off today and pick it up by this weekend. So, if I don't write before than, now you know why!
I've been doing quite a bit of thinking these last few weeks. Mainly about what I'm expecting for this year. I guess you could call it my New Year's Resolution. (I'm late, so what?) I don't usually even care. But I just have this feeling that this year is going to be HUGE for me. And I don't really know why.
I've felt that things HAVE been falling into place. Things that I never even knew were issues in the past have a way of working out for the best for me. Even things that I either forgot about or just stopped caring about... case in point: I've been hanging out with a very dear old friend of mine. We had a falling out some years ago. Mainly because his girlfriend didn't like me (for whatever reason) and I said some thing that I shouldn't have said. (I was pissed that she would do what she did to me without even having the courtesy of getting to know me first.)
But anyway, lately I've been questioning why we're hanging out again. I mean, like I said, it's been a few years now. Sure, he came up to see me one day when I still lived up at school. And talked a little online... but he just recently told his girlfriend that we have plans to try to see each other every week. (I thought it was funny, since we never really said that... it just happened that was how things worked out.) Since just before the New Year, we have seen each other almost every week. Most times, it has been with a third party. Other times, it's been just us. Nothing really bad about that. But it's like I said... I question why we're socializing again.
Other than that, nothing really to report. I've talked to Shane a few days ago. I've been wanting to check up on him. The last time we talked, it was for a very brief time, and he was depressed. He said he'll be seeing me soon... (I'm almost positive that his time in Iraq is coming to an end.) And I know that things have been hard for him. He's afraid of coming home and not having a home. Things between him and his wife were never really resolved. So, as he stated, "I'm leaving one hell to go to another. At least I know the hell over here. I have no idea what I'm going home to." And sadly, he's afraid that noone cares about him. Most have stopped writing him within the first month he was out there. (He's been there for over a year.) I've talked to him online more than I ever wrote. But sometimes, we would talk everyday. And everytime, I made sure to type that I was missing him. I just don't think he really believes me.
Then of course, there's ASL Live! I've somehow once again been giving the duties of set designer. I guess since I have so much experience working with other theater groups. But lately, I've just been getting frustrated. See, I guess one of my faults is- when it comes to something artistic like that... I'd rather work on it myself. I know that I have a certain picture in my mind. And more often than not, when working with someone, it comes out looking like something totally different. And more times than not, I want nothing to do with the project.
For example: We were told that we needed a bus stop. Roxanne said, "Maybe Kerri and Irene could come up with something." I remember last year. I had plans for the window and for the campfire. Both came out- ughhh. So, I said that if someone can bring in the items, I could work on it. That's not an issue. KJ then said that he would look at the mall for one. I'm thinking he's looking for one of those that you can buy but he somehow always gets for free... and then Monday, he contacts me and asks me what color it should be. (I have no idea. It would depend on the material I'm using...) Then he proceeds to tell me that he made one! And from then on, it's just questions about what I think about this... and what I think about that... It really drove me crazy.
I had to ask him why he needed so much of my approval. It's almost like he can't think for himself. "It's because you know so much more about this than I do." But he does have a brain of his own. I'm sure he can come up with some color choices himself, right? "Well, I prefer to get it right the first time." Then he's never going to learn... And I started to really get annoyed. So, I just left him to his devices and figured he would figure out what to do. But every few minutes he would tell me of his progress...
I'm not really sure how to take my recent anger towards him. It almost seems too easy to become mad at him. Then again, it's not really mad as it is... frustrated. He's back to his old habits. He'll start a conversation with me and then just leave... never saying a word that he's leaving. Or the fact that he was recently invited to come to one of my classes to serve as a Deaf "client"... but then changes his plans for something else. He just leaves a half-explained comment about "Oh, now I can drive mom..." Is that suppose to explain or help me understand something? Well, whatever his deal is... I've already withdrew from this little puppet game. If he stops talking after a few minutes, I just say "bye". I don't wait around anymore.
And... that's about it. As you can see, nothing really much to report (with the exception of mom's job offer). I really should get ready. I'm already running behind on all the things that I wanted to take care of today. But I'll try to write again when I have some more "uplifting" news... or when I get my computer back... whichever comes first! *smile*
Well, my mom was offered a job in Washington DC yesterday. She told the people that she would take the job "tentatively". She feels that she needs to talk to all of us first and find out how we feel about the entire situation.
I told her that I think it's a good idea for her to take it. I mean, it's definitely a better place for her to be. She'll have a job security that is definitely not the case here. I know she's having a lot of problems with people at work. But I understand her concern with leaving my sisters and me here. I know that my mom considers us her world. She already said that she's going to miss us so much. Hell, Sam and Courtney live two towns over and she misses them like crazy. She said she felt the same way when I was living closer to school. So, she just doesn't know... She also said that she was going to be back every weekend. But you know how things happen... and one weekend missed turns into two weeks... then a month. But for the time being, it would be nice to have her around. (That is if she takes the job...)
The weird thing is- we just moved into this house. Just about two months... and already she's going to have to leave. It seems that we moved out of our house to move here because we were getting sick (literally) from living there. So, we move here and absolutely love it here. But then, a job offer comes to her in which she's going to leave? How is that for fate?
We had talked about if both of us were going to head down to VA or if just one of us. She thinks it's better that I stay here. She says all my "connections" with interpreting are here. Though, I think Washington would be better career wise. There's a HUGE Deaf population there. Not to mention, Gallaudet University is there as well!
But I agree that all my ties are here for the moment. I can always move down there later. I just have to establish myself first. And it's better to do it closer to "home" than to venture out too far without really knowing what in the hell you're doing. Sink or swim, right? Things definitely fall into place rather strangely...
Other than that, my computer is down. I've needed to use my mother's until I can get mine back from Best Buy. I'm running some errands today. I'm hoping to drop it off today and pick it up by this weekend. So, if I don't write before than, now you know why!
I've been doing quite a bit of thinking these last few weeks. Mainly about what I'm expecting for this year. I guess you could call it my New Year's Resolution. (I'm late, so what?) I don't usually even care. But I just have this feeling that this year is going to be HUGE for me. And I don't really know why.
I've felt that things HAVE been falling into place. Things that I never even knew were issues in the past have a way of working out for the best for me. Even things that I either forgot about or just stopped caring about... case in point: I've been hanging out with a very dear old friend of mine. We had a falling out some years ago. Mainly because his girlfriend didn't like me (for whatever reason) and I said some thing that I shouldn't have said. (I was pissed that she would do what she did to me without even having the courtesy of getting to know me first.)
But anyway, lately I've been questioning why we're hanging out again. I mean, like I said, it's been a few years now. Sure, he came up to see me one day when I still lived up at school. And talked a little online... but he just recently told his girlfriend that we have plans to try to see each other every week. (I thought it was funny, since we never really said that... it just happened that was how things worked out.) Since just before the New Year, we have seen each other almost every week. Most times, it has been with a third party. Other times, it's been just us. Nothing really bad about that. But it's like I said... I question why we're socializing again.
Other than that, nothing really to report. I've talked to Shane a few days ago. I've been wanting to check up on him. The last time we talked, it was for a very brief time, and he was depressed. He said he'll be seeing me soon... (I'm almost positive that his time in Iraq is coming to an end.) And I know that things have been hard for him. He's afraid of coming home and not having a home. Things between him and his wife were never really resolved. So, as he stated, "I'm leaving one hell to go to another. At least I know the hell over here. I have no idea what I'm going home to." And sadly, he's afraid that noone cares about him. Most have stopped writing him within the first month he was out there. (He's been there for over a year.) I've talked to him online more than I ever wrote. But sometimes, we would talk everyday. And everytime, I made sure to type that I was missing him. I just don't think he really believes me.
Then of course, there's ASL Live! I've somehow once again been giving the duties of set designer. I guess since I have so much experience working with other theater groups. But lately, I've just been getting frustrated. See, I guess one of my faults is- when it comes to something artistic like that... I'd rather work on it myself. I know that I have a certain picture in my mind. And more often than not, when working with someone, it comes out looking like something totally different. And more times than not, I want nothing to do with the project.
For example: We were told that we needed a bus stop. Roxanne said, "Maybe Kerri and Irene could come up with something." I remember last year. I had plans for the window and for the campfire. Both came out- ughhh. So, I said that if someone can bring in the items, I could work on it. That's not an issue. KJ then said that he would look at the mall for one. I'm thinking he's looking for one of those that you can buy but he somehow always gets for free... and then Monday, he contacts me and asks me what color it should be. (I have no idea. It would depend on the material I'm using...) Then he proceeds to tell me that he made one! And from then on, it's just questions about what I think about this... and what I think about that... It really drove me crazy.
I had to ask him why he needed so much of my approval. It's almost like he can't think for himself. "It's because you know so much more about this than I do." But he does have a brain of his own. I'm sure he can come up with some color choices himself, right? "Well, I prefer to get it right the first time." Then he's never going to learn... And I started to really get annoyed. So, I just left him to his devices and figured he would figure out what to do. But every few minutes he would tell me of his progress...
I'm not really sure how to take my recent anger towards him. It almost seems too easy to become mad at him. Then again, it's not really mad as it is... frustrated. He's back to his old habits. He'll start a conversation with me and then just leave... never saying a word that he's leaving. Or the fact that he was recently invited to come to one of my classes to serve as a Deaf "client"... but then changes his plans for something else. He just leaves a half-explained comment about "Oh, now I can drive mom..." Is that suppose to explain or help me understand something? Well, whatever his deal is... I've already withdrew from this little puppet game. If he stops talking after a few minutes, I just say "bye". I don't wait around anymore.
And... that's about it. As you can see, nothing really much to report (with the exception of mom's job offer). I really should get ready. I'm already running behind on all the things that I wanted to take care of today. But I'll try to write again when I have some more "uplifting" news... or when I get my computer back... whichever comes first! *smile*