(no subject)
Can't say a lot is happening over here. I am having the perfect lazy summer so far. It is only the 17th of June and I feel weird for being so lazy. I have the one job but that takes up at most 3 hours of any work day. Mostly on Tumblr and catching up on TV. Orphan Black and Orange is the New Black all caught up, and now I am wokring through The Fosters. I don't really go anywhere, nor do I want to until this weekend. It is Pride around here, so that should be pretty fun. I may be going to see my dad for the forth of July. I have the 29th through the 4th I can take off. I don't even know why I started this. Well one thing that happened is that I got notice that I am supposed to be
I have been feeling lonely a lot these days. I think it is a few different things. Part of me regrets becoming friends with my former crush. Part of me is convinced that I am over her, since I can no longer remember anything she had said to me in the two years we were friends the first time around. I just remember how it felt talking to her. So I worry that I made her up, put her on some weird imaginary pedastil, for which I am sorry for. It was my fault. I saw too much into it. I think maybe I imagined most of my relationship with Ash, wanting that relationship so badly. I am not going to hope for that anymore. There was a time when I was hoping to be a father, and working towards having that stable life where I can. I won't have a partner, and that is fine. It used to be fine, and I will get my mindset back. Only problem is, I didn't have a glimpse at what a homelife like that could be like and I got it and I want that so much. I guess it doesn't help that I am watching The Fosters. I want so badly to be more than sweet. So much more, but that is all I will ever be.
That is all. Sorry you have to put up with this shit.
Erin
I have been feeling lonely a lot these days. I think it is a few different things. Part of me regrets becoming friends with my former crush. Part of me is convinced that I am over her, since I can no longer remember anything she had said to me in the two years we were friends the first time around. I just remember how it felt talking to her. So I worry that I made her up, put her on some weird imaginary pedastil, for which I am sorry for. It was my fault. I saw too much into it. I think maybe I imagined most of my relationship with Ash, wanting that relationship so badly. I am not going to hope for that anymore. There was a time when I was hoping to be a father, and working towards having that stable life where I can. I won't have a partner, and that is fine. It used to be fine, and I will get my mindset back. Only problem is, I didn't have a glimpse at what a homelife like that could be like and I got it and I want that so much. I guess it doesn't help that I am watching The Fosters. I want so badly to be more than sweet. So much more, but that is all I will ever be.
That is all. Sorry you have to put up with this shit.
Erin