I am determined. I am going to teach in South Korea (LONG ASS POST FOR ANYONE WHO'LL READ THIS)
Yesterday, I spent all day going through various videos, forums, and recruiter sites to continue researching on teaching in South Korea. I have been sort of doing some of this already, here and there reading horror stories and reading what all of the requirements are, even learning Korean culture away from the kdramas I have been watching over the last couple of years. The process to get to South Korea is long, and once there, staying there can be difficult still. New country, new set of thinking. Korea is still really conservative, but, like the US, is slowly loosening the reigns. It is also a very insecure country, where looks are really a big thing there, like in the US. However their standards of beauty are a lot different. I will never be beautiful as a woman. I already knew this. I just want to PASS as a woman, which will be difficult, but not impossible. I remember when I was in high school, I remember I finally gave in to my stepmother and wore a little bit of make up. It wasn't much, just some eyeliner and this brownish maroon lipstick. I remember wearing it home from high school after gym class, which was my last class off the day. I did this for like a month, and I actually liked it. I will never BE a woman, let alone a pretty woman. I gave up that notion many years ago, but if I can PASS as a woman, I can be fine with that. Catherine's has some nice shirts and even bras that I actually liked when I saw them, and they were in my size. When I went to Curves, I was really encouraged. My masculine looks didn't put the people off in either place, as has always been my fear these last few years. I have had poor service in other places because I looked like I didn't belong there, like Men's Warehouse. I told the woman at Catherine's that I appreciated how much they helped me even though I looked so jacked up. (I also told the lie that my mom wanted me to be a lady, so to speak, and that made it okay. I mean sorry to throw you under the bus, mom.) My pronouns are still 'they' and 'them' and will be after the year or however long in teaching I'd be, but in South Korea, especially in the school I will be teaching in, I must be the gender as stated on my documents, especially since I have no intentions at this point in time to transition at all. I could be a little more androgynous on days off and in the city, but make up and a skirt is a must. I have been growing my hair out since about October, or at least, I opted out of my quarterly hair cuts starting in October, but my hair had been growing out since about June 2013. I want to get the curls relaxed and experiment with hair a little bit. I want to find a way to not take 4 flipping hours to turn me into a woman, which was why shied away from it all those years ago. If I can find a cut and style, make up, and a solid few outfits that are feminine but comfortable all around, I think I can be a woman in South Korea. Strangely, outside of all of the horror stories of bad schools, home sickness, and confusing paper work/visa headaches, I still want to do this. I have had the strongest desire to do this and make it work. The last time I felt this, I wanted to go to the Evergreen State College and, well, guess where I am typing this up?! It (going to college let alone the one I wanted to get into) seemed like such an impossibility and at first, this did too, but I worked through the paperwork, knowing that sometimes it is a waiting game for documents. If I start now, I can figure out the most of it, and so, once I graduate college and get my diploma, I can do the heavy paperwork. So, I will follow this and do what I can until I am either in and out of South Korea or until I give up and let it go.
What I need to do NOW over the next year and a half or two years:
A) Lose weight
-I have joined Curves, which has a coach, knowledge of female bodies, a circuit to go through twice each time, and a support system. It is also cheaper than a regular gym (total sign up was like $50 less than 24 hour fitness), so I am confident this will help. I am confident that I CAN lose the weight. I am not sure how much, but they seem focused on fat burning and muscle building, which I like. I am confident that I can do this. In Job Corps I had joined a weight loss club and was in it for a year. Though I plateau'd at 290 after losing 40 lbs., I maintained that weight for a long time. I have since slowly gotten back to about 335-350, and I think maybe I will make my goal is to hopefully lose to 290 again and hopefully more. I plan to go in in that hour and a half before work Monday through Thursday, or, depending on my new schedule, I will spread it out Monday and Tuesday, day off Wednesday, and then work out Thursday and Friday, and then weekend break.
-I need to eat better, obviously. I have been eating so horribly the last 2-3 months due to smoking pot, and since I had finished off the last of my pot last night, I think this was why I decided to sign up today. This means getting rid of the last pizza in the freezer, and that is the last item of mine other than eggs that I have in the refrigerator, so I can start over with a grocery run tonight after work. I worry that my laziness will make me not want to cook the recipes in the meal plan (because lets be real, I don't want to buy organic this and only use certain ingredients for like one dish), however, my dad used to go grocery shopping based off of his meals, so maybe that will get me more in the habit of that because it seemed effective for him.
B) Find a feminine and an androgynous look that feels good:
-Again, Catherine's was really helpful to me, great customer service. I am sure they probably thought I was a secret shopper or something. I loved how kind they were to me, measured me for a bra that would fit me, and found a couple of beautiful black shirts that looked good on me and though a little strange since I forgot what some of those shirts felt like to wear in comparison to men's clothing for the last decade or so. These with jeans will be beautiful, but I am not sure if I can go to work in a classroom with jeans on. If there are some nice pants to go along with the shirts, that would probably be ideal. I do have a skirt that I bought in October for a costume idea, and so I may look to see if they match and walk around the house in the outfits to get used to them. Catherine's had just barely my size, but once I start losing weight, it might be a little easier. It might even be easier to find my size in places like Walmart or JCPenny, but I won't hold my breath too much. I do need to find more professional looking clothes, blazers and such for work.
-I have been letting my hair grow out since about last June, but I made the decision not to cut it in about October. My goal is to use a relaxer or a straightener, and then cut or just leave it in a ponytail. Not much more to put about that, other than the fact that I plan to do this after getting financial aid later this month.
-As I said earlier, I did use make up once upon a time, and I liked it well enough. I plan to find some concealer, as well as some eye liner and some lipstick or stain that works for me. I hope to only have to spend 10 minutes or less on make up. I plan to go to the mall in JCP's make up section, as well as MAC to take a look. JCP were nice to me before about men's stuff about 3 months ago, so I am confident they will have good customer service when looking into basic make up and tips that may help me. MAC may have more options and colors, and people who will help me, even if it is pricier. I will off and on practice application on my own, and there are a shit ton of tutorials for applying make up, so all is well there.
The next few things are more for around the time I actually GET my bachelor's degree and diploma, so closer to six to eight months before I expect to begin working in South Korea.
C) Gather as many documents that I can:
-I started the process of getting a passport, so I have my birth certificate and ID updated, but need to find a place that will do everything right then and there, assuming I have everything else, including applications and stuff all together when I go in.
D) Learn some basic Korean:
-All of the youtube videos I have seen suggest (despite employers and recruiters saying not to) that people learn some Korean. Yes, you need to be a native English teacher, but knowing how to read Hangul and basic phrases like 'hello' 'please' 'I'm sorry' 'how much does this cost' 'where is the bathroom' etc. will make life easier. I have found a youtuber a few months back that teaches phrases and words in Korean, so it is a start, and it also talks about Korean culture. It would help the first month go a little more smoothly, and there are free Korean classes available for the guest English teachers, which I would take up when I get there. I know and recognize many words from kdramas, so that has helped, but learning to string some phrases together for when I'd be out and about and shopping and stuff.
E) Find a recruiter:
-Because recruiters get paid from Korean schools or even the South Korean government to find teachers, sometimes they can be a little iffy. I need to shop around a bit for one, especially since those I had tried to contact in the past were really pushy and they best they could give me was always 'I don't know, but apply and we'll go from there'. Yeah right. I want to have them give me the email address or phone number of someone who may know the answer to my question, or at least the address back to waygook.org and a key phrase to look for it in the forums on my own. I will apply, but only when I feel like they will put the teacher's needs at the same point of the Korean schools' needs. It is a new place, a new job, a new culture. I will be the odd one out, the foreigner, so I would like to make sure that I could feel at least the confidence that the path to get to South Korea was legit and that I can stay and not be deported and all of that. I also need to do research on a lot of the schools so I know where people had problems and where things are going well.
The rest, I will look into later or slowly over time, like hardcore visa building, resume updating, getting my things packed, stored and donated, and other stuff like that. I am so excited and determined. If I keep the same drive I had for getting into and through college, I will be just fine. It is like the leveling up of difficulty, but some of the same planning and waiting and working on getting everything together.
What I need to do NOW over the next year and a half or two years:
A) Lose weight
-I have joined Curves, which has a coach, knowledge of female bodies, a circuit to go through twice each time, and a support system. It is also cheaper than a regular gym (total sign up was like $50 less than 24 hour fitness), so I am confident this will help. I am confident that I CAN lose the weight. I am not sure how much, but they seem focused on fat burning and muscle building, which I like. I am confident that I can do this. In Job Corps I had joined a weight loss club and was in it for a year. Though I plateau'd at 290 after losing 40 lbs., I maintained that weight for a long time. I have since slowly gotten back to about 335-350, and I think maybe I will make my goal is to hopefully lose to 290 again and hopefully more. I plan to go in in that hour and a half before work Monday through Thursday, or, depending on my new schedule, I will spread it out Monday and Tuesday, day off Wednesday, and then work out Thursday and Friday, and then weekend break.
-I need to eat better, obviously. I have been eating so horribly the last 2-3 months due to smoking pot, and since I had finished off the last of my pot last night, I think this was why I decided to sign up today. This means getting rid of the last pizza in the freezer, and that is the last item of mine other than eggs that I have in the refrigerator, so I can start over with a grocery run tonight after work. I worry that my laziness will make me not want to cook the recipes in the meal plan (because lets be real, I don't want to buy organic this and only use certain ingredients for like one dish), however, my dad used to go grocery shopping based off of his meals, so maybe that will get me more in the habit of that because it seemed effective for him.
B) Find a feminine and an androgynous look that feels good:
-Again, Catherine's was really helpful to me, great customer service. I am sure they probably thought I was a secret shopper or something. I loved how kind they were to me, measured me for a bra that would fit me, and found a couple of beautiful black shirts that looked good on me and though a little strange since I forgot what some of those shirts felt like to wear in comparison to men's clothing for the last decade or so. These with jeans will be beautiful, but I am not sure if I can go to work in a classroom with jeans on. If there are some nice pants to go along with the shirts, that would probably be ideal. I do have a skirt that I bought in October for a costume idea, and so I may look to see if they match and walk around the house in the outfits to get used to them. Catherine's had just barely my size, but once I start losing weight, it might be a little easier. It might even be easier to find my size in places like Walmart or JCPenny, but I won't hold my breath too much. I do need to find more professional looking clothes, blazers and such for work.
-I have been letting my hair grow out since about last June, but I made the decision not to cut it in about October. My goal is to use a relaxer or a straightener, and then cut or just leave it in a ponytail. Not much more to put about that, other than the fact that I plan to do this after getting financial aid later this month.
-As I said earlier, I did use make up once upon a time, and I liked it well enough. I plan to find some concealer, as well as some eye liner and some lipstick or stain that works for me. I hope to only have to spend 10 minutes or less on make up. I plan to go to the mall in JCP's make up section, as well as MAC to take a look. JCP were nice to me before about men's stuff about 3 months ago, so I am confident they will have good customer service when looking into basic make up and tips that may help me. MAC may have more options and colors, and people who will help me, even if it is pricier. I will off and on practice application on my own, and there are a shit ton of tutorials for applying make up, so all is well there.
The next few things are more for around the time I actually GET my bachelor's degree and diploma, so closer to six to eight months before I expect to begin working in South Korea.
C) Gather as many documents that I can:
-I started the process of getting a passport, so I have my birth certificate and ID updated, but need to find a place that will do everything right then and there, assuming I have everything else, including applications and stuff all together when I go in.
D) Learn some basic Korean:
-All of the youtube videos I have seen suggest (despite employers and recruiters saying not to) that people learn some Korean. Yes, you need to be a native English teacher, but knowing how to read Hangul and basic phrases like 'hello' 'please' 'I'm sorry' 'how much does this cost' 'where is the bathroom' etc. will make life easier. I have found a youtuber a few months back that teaches phrases and words in Korean, so it is a start, and it also talks about Korean culture. It would help the first month go a little more smoothly, and there are free Korean classes available for the guest English teachers, which I would take up when I get there. I know and recognize many words from kdramas, so that has helped, but learning to string some phrases together for when I'd be out and about and shopping and stuff.
E) Find a recruiter:
-Because recruiters get paid from Korean schools or even the South Korean government to find teachers, sometimes they can be a little iffy. I need to shop around a bit for one, especially since those I had tried to contact in the past were really pushy and they best they could give me was always 'I don't know, but apply and we'll go from there'. Yeah right. I want to have them give me the email address or phone number of someone who may know the answer to my question, or at least the address back to waygook.org and a key phrase to look for it in the forums on my own. I will apply, but only when I feel like they will put the teacher's needs at the same point of the Korean schools' needs. It is a new place, a new job, a new culture. I will be the odd one out, the foreigner, so I would like to make sure that I could feel at least the confidence that the path to get to South Korea was legit and that I can stay and not be deported and all of that. I also need to do research on a lot of the schools so I know where people had problems and where things are going well.
The rest, I will look into later or slowly over time, like hardcore visa building, resume updating, getting my things packed, stored and donated, and other stuff like that. I am so excited and determined. If I keep the same drive I had for getting into and through college, I will be just fine. It is like the leveling up of difficulty, but some of the same planning and waiting and working on getting everything together.