Fic: I Believe In You
I Believe In You
by Erin Griffin
Fandom: Glee
Pairing: slight Rachel/Quinn, preslash? Kurt/Karofsky mention
Summary: Realizations hit just when it is time to say goodbye. Slight angst.
Disclaimer: Fox and Ryan Murphy owns these characters. The song belongs to Il Divo and Celine Dion, or their repsective record lables.
A/N: With finals and proms and graduations coming soon, I wanted to do a story about this sort of thing. When this song came up, I thought it was the perfect song for a graduation, and then reading the lyrics, I knew this was perfect for Faberry.
Rachel waited impatiently for the plane to board, hearing a child crying somewhere in the front faintly through her ear buds. Rachel smiled with her eyes closed. It was finally happening. Her plane from Cleveland was due to depart, and she should be in New York by night fall. The brunette was nervous. Why shouldn't she be? She had been waiting for this very moment since she was 4 when she had watched Funny Girl on VHS, and now all those childhood dreams of becoming a star were about to happen, as she was going to audition to the revival of Phantom of the Opera. Rachel tried not to think too much on that. She knew the whole musical by heart, knew all the lyrics, and had perfected that final high note before she was 15. Even so, she was only going to be playing Meg Giry, anyway. She had every confidence that she would be okay. She had another week to get ready, and in that time, she had every intention of settling in and showing New York that Rachel Berry was its new resident, that she always had her heart there, even if her soul had almost been sucked dry by the coldness of Lima and slushy facials.
Rachel heard the song in her ear start to replay, and her thoughts weren't as happy. They were, in fact sad now, as she thought of the moments leading up to her going to the airport, having just said goodbye. Quinn had given her this ipod, telling her not to listen to it until she was on the plane and to not forget to keep in touch when she was a famous actress in a musical-turned-movie. Rachel had only chuckled though her tears as she hugged the blonde who had slowly, reluctantly become one of the only true people she'd ever known. She'd pocketed the ipod, but had remembered it when she began to feel the homesickness, which had confused her. When the first song began to play, she thought back to earlier that week at graduation, where Glee had been forced to sing the song for their goodbye ceremony. Finn had wanted to do 'Its So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday' by Boys II Men, but upon first hearing it, all of the girls were crying by the end of it, and they couldn't play it without starting up again. Karofsky had suggested 'School's Out' by Alice Cooper, and though the boys were into it, Mr. Schuester wanted something a little more sentimental. The subject seemed to have been dropped until Quinn had come into the music room days before the graduation ceremony suggesting everyone sing two songs that they wanted to sing but hadn't had the chance to.
Rachel was surprised when the boys stood up sans Kurt and David, who snuggled in the back while trying not to look like they were snuggling in the back. Quinn had managed to get Puck, Finn, Artie and Sam to sing with her, and the blonde stood tall as the music played. It was a song vaguely familiar to Rachel, and when Artie began to sing, Rachel knew the song, and a corner of her mouth shifted into a smile. The boys had become the Il Divo to Quinn's Celine Dion, as it were. When the song was over, Mr. Schuester decided that it was the song they were going to do, and began to practice the chorus for the ceremony. The song was a success at graduation, and though Glee club hadn't gained in popularity in the end, at least they could leave knowing they made their mark. That weekend, Rachel left for the airport, but saw the glee club there waiting for her, admonished that she hadn't expected to see them there, that she didn't think they would say goodbye. As Rachel's flight was announced, Quinn's song was sang acapalla, and had gotten a large round of applause as Rachel held back her tears, gave air kisses, and left like a true star. It was, in Rachel's opinion, the greatest send off anyone could have ever given her.
Lonely the path you have chosen
A restless road, no turning back
One day you will find your light again
Don't you know
Don't let go, be strong
Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe I believe I believe in you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe I believe I believe in you
As the song played, she thought about the girl who had given her the ipod, and how strange their relationship had always been. From the cruel, undeserved, masculine-themed insults to the dispute over Finn, to the slow friendship, Rachel and Quinn were always in the other's perimeter at all times throughout the past four years at least. Rachel was glad that in the end they had become friends. They finally got around to doing the things that normal teenaged friends did: have sleepovers with Brittany and Santana, Tina, Mercedes, and Lauren. They practiced for competitions at eachother's houses, did solos together after they found out that they were unstoppable duet partners, went to the mall (though nothing beat the Barbaravention), and attended any number of parties, though Rachel made sure to keep Quinn away from Puck and wine coolers. The brunette knew she would miss those times, when she had just gotten them in her life, and she thought back to the performance in the music room, when Quinn and the guys had sang the song she currently heard in her ear.
Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Cœur ouvert
A l'univers
Poursuis ta quête
Sans regarder derrière
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se lève
Suis ton étoile
Va jusqu'où ton rêve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu crois, si tu crois, si tu crois
En toi
Suis ta lumière
N'éteins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fond de toi souviens-toi
Que je crois, que je crois, que je crois
En toi
She remembered Quinn singing her part of the song in French, joined later by the rest of the Glee club's men. Rachel had learned the basics of a multitude of languages, proving that it would be useful as a star. (She had to be grateful to all fans, the international fanbase definately included.) She picked up words here and there, and when she looked them up later, she was confirmed that the song was all around encrouaging, telling her to be strong in life and to not give up, that the singer had faith. Rachel remembered how often Quinn's eyes locked with hers, how Rachel had felt that the blonde was singing only to her at times, and maybe, just maybe... she was. Other thoughts entered the brunette's mind as Il Divo and Celine Dion harmonized the chorus. She remembered the event that had led up to Rachel writing the only song on her Myspace (and later Facebook) page that had gotten more than half a dozen non hateful reviews. She thought about what Quinn had said, and her dark eye brows scrunched in a slight frown as her mind began to race.
'You don't belong here, Rachel, and you can't hate me for sending you on your way...'
Rachel opened her eyes suddenly.
Quinn looked out her window, and let out another sigh after she wiped away her tears. She was surprised by how hard it had been saying goodbye to Rachel. They never were the best of friends. They had some rough times due to the need to have some sort of status and to leave their mark in the world. They both insisted that they never hated eachother, but anyone looking in on their interactions over the years had to have wondered just what would have happened if they had. The slushie facials, the boyfriend stealing, the constant barbs back and forth... And yet, here Quinn was, crying still, after she had helped see Rachel off at the airport over three hours ago. Rachel leaving made everything real. They all talked about what they were going to be when they grew up, but seeing her walk through the gate made it official. They had grown up. The problem was, Quinn didn't feel any different. She was still right there in Lima, not even the prom queen either years, no high school sweetheart, nothing. She had nothing to show for her time at McKinley High School except for the Regionals trophies in the music room and the countless trophies hoarded in Coach Sylvester's home. She didn't even know if she was going to college. She hadn't even bothered to apply to any. She told herself that she would take a year off to figure out what she wanted to do.
Quinn was taken out of her thoughts when the doorbell rang. She didn't move from her spot at first, thinking that her mother was going to get it, but when the doorbell rang again, Quinn hurried down the stairs. She didn't bother looking out the peephole or the side window, and hoped as she turned the doorknob that it wasn't someone else coming to say goodbye before leaving her life forever. When she saw the brunette, her eyes widened. "Rachel-" she just barely managed out before the diva launched at her, wrapping her arms around her securely. Quinn could see the car she had arrived in, with Mercedes out on the street still, sitting idley in the driver's seat.
"It was you," Rachel said. Quinn didn't know what the other girl meant by that. She was still getting over the fact that the girl who was supposed to be halfway to New York by now was currently in her arms, and that it made her chest stir.
Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me too
And when I hold you close
I know that it's true
"What are you doing here? Y-your flight-"
"My first audition isn't for another week. I just... It was you all this time. The name calling, the slushies- It only made me stronger. Thanks to you, I can face any critic with my head held high. And then there was those things you said to me last year in the autitorium, and now that song we sang for graduation- the song you sang for me... It was always you there, pushing me to be better, to be the one who got my dream. In some way, shape or form, it was always you, Quinn." In all this time, Rachel hadn't completely left Quinn's arms, having only backed out enough to look into the blonde's eyes.
A blush appeared on Quinn's cheeks. "I-"
"Come with me."
"What?" Quinn asked, gawking at the brunette.
"Come with me to New York whenever you're ready. I have my own place. We'd have to share the room, if you don't mind that, but you can find a job and maybe get your own place if you want to- or even get a beigger place with me if you want-"
"Rachel, I-"
"I want you to know that you are so much more than a Lima Loser, even if you don't agree." There was a look in Rachel's eyes that made Quinn bite her lip. The offer was so tempting.
"You're making a rash decision, Rachel," Quinn said as her eyes welled up again.
"Quinn," Rachel replied, taking the blonde's hand, "I have spent my entire life either making every single decision based on carefully constructed fact. I never did anything that didn't involve a lot of thought on the pros and cons- and possibly a PowerPoint presentation. There were only three exceptions: the party in my basement, my delusional actions when it came down to Finn, and... you. I have come to find that my better desisions were made rashly. I am not saying that it will happen all the time, but..." Rachel put her hand on Quinn's cheek. "Always- In the corner of my mind, there was always you in everything I've done these last few years."
"Rachel, I... I can't."
Rachel nodded. She took a step back, the contact between them now broken. Quinn didn't want to admit that she missed it immediately. Neither did Rachel. "My contact information will always be the same. If ever you change your mind..."
"I can't, Rachel," Quinn said again softly, her voice breaking slightly as she did so. She tilted her head downwards. She took in a quick breath of air when she felt Rachel's hand in hers again, bringing it to her lips. The singer placed a small kiss there before looking up at the blonde, her eyes pleading. Rachel said nothing more on the subject, and gently dropped Quinn's hand, which was balled at her side. The brunette took a couple of steps back, her eye now streaked with tears, and Quinn almost took steps towards her to say she was sorry, that she took it back and that she did want to go. Quinn had held people back long enough, though. She held Finn back when she was pregnant, made sure Rachel and so many others- including her so called best friends were placed somewhere beneath her, and she was sick of it, sick of who she had been. She can't be that girl anymore. She was supposed to be a woman now.
"My offer stands. I believe in you, too." The brunette then turned with a large sigh, her shoulders slumped and looked, for the first time in all the years (and slushy facials) that Quinn had ever known the singer, defeated. Quinn bit her lip so hard she knew it would bleed with anymore presure. She wanted to say something- anything, because she knew that Rachel was leaving for a long time, that she may or may not come back for Hanakuhs, that the next time she hears of Rachel it will be through town rumor or a headline in a magazine, that she may never hear the brunette's beautiful voice without first purchasing a ticket.
"Rachel," Quinn called out, causing Rachel to turn on her heel and look back at her. Quinn felt her throat close up. There were words she knew she wanted to say but couldn't, the apologies she didn't think could escape her without sounding trite, the words to describe how losing Rachel was making her feel right at that moment. None of that came to the surface, but god, Rachel was looking at the blonde with so much hope and such sadness that Quinn had to take her own step back in order to cling to the doorframe. "Be safe," she said instead. There was the slightest twitch of her lip, and she brought her teeth down on it again so that Rachel wouldn't see. She couldn't stop the tear that fell down the left side of her cheek, and wanted so badly to move her head so that her hair could hide it and Rachel couldn't see that either. Doing so meant she couldn't see Rachel, and she wanted to keep this image of her in her mind forever.
The brunette nodded again with a small smile before she went back into the car, opened the door, and closed it again behind her. Mercedes looked to Rachel and then to Quinn, but after a few words, the car took off, away from her street and out of sight. Quinn had been watching after it until even the speck in the distance disappeared, and then looked down at the hand that Rachel had kissed. She brought it up to her eye level. She could almost see the mark the brunette had left there, which seemed to sear into her skin even now, moments after it had happened. She twisted her wrist, bringing the palm upward, and opened her fingers to reveal a key. It was an average silver key, placed there by the singer who somehow meant everything to her when once she meant nothing. Quinn inspected its ridges, as if it would unlock more to her than a single door somewhere in New York, the one door Quinn knew she wanted to walk through.
Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe I believe I believe in you
Follow your dreams
Be yourself an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe I believe I believe in you
I believe I believe I believe in you
Quinn forced her body to move now, turning towards the house and closing the door softly behind her as the key made an imprint into her palm from her clutching it so tightly. She saw her mother at the top of the stairs. Their eyes met, and then Quinn said, "Mom, I need to talk to you about something."
Judy Fabray only nodded.
I believe in you...