And yet another weird dream, but I understand...
I had a strange dream last night that at first Iw asn't sure if it was real or not. I dreampt that I called my mother and asked her what my name would have been had I been born a boy. She said it would have been Jay. I know why I had this dream. This was the question on my mind for a few days now. I had meant to ask my dad this when I called him yesterday, but I never did. I am a little more afraid of what he thinks of my slow trasition into a life as a male, I guess. I am not sure why my mind came up with Jay, though. If I want to be spiritual about it, I would guess that is the name I would want, but Jay had never been something I would come up with. I remember telling my mother that I had been wanting to keep my name Erin, but with different more masculine spelling as to not confuse people by being Erin and living as a man. It seemed to me by the tone of my mother's voice that she had been expecting me to ask her this at some point, but I don't know in waking whether that was a sadness or if it was a 'okay, this is it for real' sort of thing, like she was giving in. I couldn't quite tell.
It might have also started because I bought a chestbind online. I hope it gets here before Shaunte's birthday, but I doubt it. I have to get ahold of Ben. He will have more info on the party for her birthday.
I have the Neverending Story song:
You have no idea how many times I had this song stuck in my head wihtout knowing the words. I always thought it was a woman singing, lol. I also had a huge crush on Atreyu... Go figure now, lol. Atreyu looked like a girl, and that was probably part of it. I always like feminine like boys growing up. I used to love this movie, and I loved this song. I still do. I think the last time I saw the Neverending Story was about 2 years ago, but I forgot who had it. Maybe it was back in Job Corps, because I reember singing the song with Jaime. Or maybe that was another dream that seemed so real to me. I remember in jobcorps I had a lot of dreams that seemed real because they were mundaine.
Erin
It might have also started because I bought a chestbind online. I hope it gets here before Shaunte's birthday, but I doubt it. I have to get ahold of Ben. He will have more info on the party for her birthday.
I have the Neverending Story song:
Click to viewYou have no idea how many times I had this song stuck in my head wihtout knowing the words. I always thought it was a woman singing, lol. I also had a huge crush on Atreyu... Go figure now, lol. Atreyu looked like a girl, and that was probably part of it. I always like feminine like boys growing up. I used to love this movie, and I loved this song. I still do. I think the last time I saw the Neverending Story was about 2 years ago, but I forgot who had it. Maybe it was back in Job Corps, because I reember singing the song with Jaime. Or maybe that was another dream that seemed so real to me. I remember in jobcorps I had a lot of dreams that seemed real because they were mundaine.
Erin