(no subject)
I text Paul…We’re talking again. Well...he’s talking and I can’t stop crying. My eyes are so red and puffy I look like I’ve been punched..and my cheeks are red and each tear stings as it falls.
Someone who is meant to be a close friend of mine spent the whole night alone..in a huge state of depression because I was too up myself to listen. He was really low last night and was under the impression that nobody (including myself) gave a damn about him..
He left work early today because he just didn’t want to be there. He called me..i spent like 2/3 hours crying..like none stop.
I feel like such a piece of shit right now…I can’t believe I let him down like this.
I’m not gonna go into details about his night..but all I know is I’ve never felt this low before in my life. I don’t deserve to call him a friend…
He said PLEASE…last night he asked if I’d just stay with him and talk about anything and I turned my back on him. And I’m so angry with myself because I swore when Carlos died I’d try to be there for people…and someone i’ve known for yrs had to face his demons alone coz I’m a bitch
After like a yr of telling Paul he was wasting his time with Marie I’ve just realised I’m worse…I left someone I care about in a pit and waved as I walked away. I’m so SO much worse..
I dunno what to do…I can’t make this up to him. He’s trying to play everything down…and act like there is no big deal. But I feel so broken…I'm so so angry with myself. I let everyone I care about down in the end…and no matter how much I think I’ve changed its bull.
He thought I hung up coz I didn’t care…but I hung up coz I didn’t wanna cry…and I wanted to cry because it hurts when he’s down…and it hurts when he is down because I fucking care…Why didn’t I just tell him that?!
He said please..and I still hung on him. And now I think I’m gonna drown in tears..
Someone who is meant to be a close friend of mine spent the whole night alone..in a huge state of depression because I was too up myself to listen. He was really low last night and was under the impression that nobody (including myself) gave a damn about him..
He left work early today because he just didn’t want to be there. He called me..i spent like 2/3 hours crying..like none stop.
I feel like such a piece of shit right now…I can’t believe I let him down like this.
I’m not gonna go into details about his night..but all I know is I’ve never felt this low before in my life. I don’t deserve to call him a friend…
He said PLEASE…last night he asked if I’d just stay with him and talk about anything and I turned my back on him. And I’m so angry with myself because I swore when Carlos died I’d try to be there for people…and someone i’ve known for yrs had to face his demons alone coz I’m a bitch
After like a yr of telling Paul he was wasting his time with Marie I’ve just realised I’m worse…I left someone I care about in a pit and waved as I walked away. I’m so SO much worse..
I dunno what to do…I can’t make this up to him. He’s trying to play everything down…and act like there is no big deal. But I feel so broken…I'm so so angry with myself. I let everyone I care about down in the end…and no matter how much I think I’ve changed its bull.
He thought I hung up coz I didn’t care…but I hung up coz I didn’t wanna cry…and I wanted to cry because it hurts when he’s down…and it hurts when he is down because I fucking care…Why didn’t I just tell him that?!
He said please..and I still hung on him. And now I think I’m gonna drown in tears..