im hungry, im sad, i miss brian, life is tough. deal with it...

[magicmellon]

i'm sick of being lonely and sad....and missing brian. i want to go home, i am going home, very soon, i'll be in nj on friday. ive been fairly productive today...did some writing for philosophy...but of course i still have more to finish. i'm hungry and i'm waiting for mack to go and eat with her. i'm feeling...sad because i can see whats going to happen when i get home. brian is going to have to work most of the week because someone is on vacation...which sucks...and he can't get time off to see me right when i get home (friday). Also, he can't get all of the time off necessary to go to cape cod then come here...and we still have to deal with his parents, and get them to let him go and take his car. this is all too ridiculous. its not fucking fair to me, or him for that matter. all of this bullshit. i just want to go away with him, have fun and be together. its amazing to think that i'm coming up on spring break...half of second semester almost down, my first year of college almost done. shit, this goes fast.
i have so many big questions...so much more to discover. i love philosophy, and i enjoy the big questions we grapple with...even though they can be difficult and disconcerting.
I got an email from Humphrey today, a guy i met when i was in Uganda and who i really hit it off with and had a wonderful time with. he is in america and going to school in minessota. this is big...he plans on calling me, and we will meet up hopefully some day soon. this is so amazing, because i really thought i would never see him again, and now my life is so different, with brian and everything....and at one point i felt like hum was a special guy who i shared something amazing with. i still think that, but im in a new place now, and i just dont know...