(no subject)

May 15, 2007 16:55

I try to be responsible and ethical, and a good person. I try to maintain a sense of personal integrity. Most of the time I'm pretty good with it, sometimes I fail. I suppose it comes with being human.

Do I hold myself to a higher standard than I do other people? Yeah, I suppose so. It only makes sense, because I am responsible for my own actions (or inactions), where other people have their own responsibilities to themselves. Something that would be a pretty much accepted behavior from a friend might be something that I beat myself up over.

Feeling a little contemplative today, a little sad. Trying to consider the justifications for decisions I've made in the past (as opposed to all those decisions that I've made in the future, ja?) and whether those justifications still hold, or whether they even matter anymore. Sometimes there are no right and wrong decisions, just different directions that take you to different places.

Not trying to be cryptic. I'm feeling more meta.

Picture a submarine cruising just beneath the waves, periscope up, scanning the horizon and seeing nothing, knowing that there are enemy ships out there somewhere.

What does the captain look like?

What is his mission?

Where is his safe harbor?

self-musing, identity crisis, navel gazing

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