(no subject)
"The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."
Harriet Beecher Stowe
I've been thinking a lot about death recently. Not so much about my death, but death in general. After having Mary and my Uncle Archie die, and having watched my grandpa slowly die for the past year and a half and now knowing he only has a few months to live, it's kind of inevitable.
Oh yeah, my grandpa's gonna die soon. Probably around Christmas. Merry Christmas, right?
Anywho... I didn't know my Uncle Archie that well. He was my great uncle, and around when I was probably 7 or 8, he stopped coming to the family get-togethers. I basically stopped thinking about him. Every once in a while, he'd pop into my head, but I'd do nothing about it. I regret that so much now. Uncle Archie was in a wheelchair, basically totally paralyzed. But he always had this quiet joy about him. Not so much happiness, but joy. I always appreciated that about him, but I never got to tell him. And I never will. And Mary... she was so awesome. I don't remember much about her at all, but I do remember how confident and kind she was... how much she helped us. I am so grateful for her. But I'll never get to tell her that, either.
And now my grandpa's dying. So I have to build up the courage to tell him how much he means to me. But it's hard... it's hard as hell. Because he hurt my mom and my grandma and my uncles and aunt so, so badly... It makes me resent him. But he was always awesome to me and his other grandkids. He was the sweet ol' grandpa that everyone loves. So how am I supposed to feel? And how am I supposed to tell him how great he is when he was one of the worst people I've ever heard of? What am I supposed to do?
That's not really the point of this post, though... If you haven't talked to someone in a really long time and they suddenly pop into your head, chances are there's a reason for it. So do something. Call them. Get ahold of them and tell them how much you mean(t) to them. Death rips people away from you. And it sucks. It fucking sucks. Don't put yourself through that... please.
In other news: work is going pretty well, and school is great. I'm pretty happy. Woo
Harriet Beecher Stowe
I've been thinking a lot about death recently. Not so much about my death, but death in general. After having Mary and my Uncle Archie die, and having watched my grandpa slowly die for the past year and a half and now knowing he only has a few months to live, it's kind of inevitable.
Oh yeah, my grandpa's gonna die soon. Probably around Christmas. Merry Christmas, right?
Anywho... I didn't know my Uncle Archie that well. He was my great uncle, and around when I was probably 7 or 8, he stopped coming to the family get-togethers. I basically stopped thinking about him. Every once in a while, he'd pop into my head, but I'd do nothing about it. I regret that so much now. Uncle Archie was in a wheelchair, basically totally paralyzed. But he always had this quiet joy about him. Not so much happiness, but joy. I always appreciated that about him, but I never got to tell him. And I never will. And Mary... she was so awesome. I don't remember much about her at all, but I do remember how confident and kind she was... how much she helped us. I am so grateful for her. But I'll never get to tell her that, either.
And now my grandpa's dying. So I have to build up the courage to tell him how much he means to me. But it's hard... it's hard as hell. Because he hurt my mom and my grandma and my uncles and aunt so, so badly... It makes me resent him. But he was always awesome to me and his other grandkids. He was the sweet ol' grandpa that everyone loves. So how am I supposed to feel? And how am I supposed to tell him how great he is when he was one of the worst people I've ever heard of? What am I supposed to do?
That's not really the point of this post, though... If you haven't talked to someone in a really long time and they suddenly pop into your head, chances are there's a reason for it. So do something. Call them. Get ahold of them and tell them how much you mean(t) to them. Death rips people away from you. And it sucks. It fucking sucks. Don't put yourself through that... please.
In other news: work is going pretty well, and school is great. I'm pretty happy. Woo