Stupid Writing
My life has not exactly gone as planned lately and my schoolwork is making me insane. I decided to post my writing assignments to get edits/ feedback/corrections, if people would be so kind. I do not need the "great jobs" I need people with better grammar than I have and who know more than me correcting me so I get better! :3
My first assignment was in Character and Environment. I am supposed to write three scenes in the SAME PLACE with the same 2 people. No dialog. The first scene introduces the new and mysterious place to the main character and ends when the second character meets the first.
The second scene is supposed to be where both are familiar with the environment and the meeting of the two characters is a happy one.
Scene 3 is where the place is deserted. One person is missing and a feeling of nostalgia/sadness is requested in the teacher's assignment page.
Heide Nichols
Assignment 1 Character/Environment
Flight
Scene 1
It is 1966, in the central plains of Kansas. Faintly, SSgt Barry Sadler's "Ballad of the Green Berets" can be heard emanating from elsewhere in the farmhouse. Kimberley, a pigtailed girl about 6 years old, wearing a braided Indian-style headband with a single feather in the back, dressed in dungarees rolled up at the hem, a calico print blouse, and PF Flyers, pads down the an open wooden staircase that leads down the farmhouse cellar as as if she is sneaking down. She is crouched down and peering carefully one direction at a time, her hand, fingers together held horizontally at the level of her eyebrows. as she lowers herself slowly, step by step. The wooden shelves are filled with Mason jars of fruits and vegetables. Gingham curtains cover the high windows that still let light through with a rosy glow. Another step. A cot in the corner has an old green sleeping bag with a bright flannel plaid lining covering it. A Viet Nam era Air Force cap is hung on a nail above the bed. The only other ornamentation is a group picture of young enlisted men in various stages of uniform obviously taken in the jungle which is propped on a small shelf by the bed next to a stack of medal boxes, unopened. One more step down. Several "whirlybird" yard ornaments are leaned against the side wall. The next to last step. A workbench in one corner holds a few roughly carved bird bodies with distinct heads and carved plumage, and old fashioned tools are arranged on a pegboard on the wall above. One last step and she sees a young man in his late 20s, with a severely pomaded hairstyle, buffalo plaid shirt,and dark blue jeans leans over the work bench fine sanding a small wooden bird. Something in the man's gaze seems far off, and not quite right. A jagged scar runs down the left side of his head from scalp to just below the chin in front of the ear. She jumps in surprise, letting out a cross between a squeak and a yell, when she sees the man.
Scene 2
Again, the setting is the farmhouse in the central plains. Now it is 1986 and Billy Idol's cover of "Mony Mony" can be heard faintly from another room. Kimberley,her hair permed and frizzed big, her face heavily made up and nails lacquered, wears a power suit with highly padded shoulders designed to fall gracefully over the swell of an obvious pregnancy. In low heeled shoes, she steps carefully down the slightly squeaking stairs as there is no rail. Smiling confidently, she passes wooden shelves filled with boxes, clothing, and odds and ends. The gingham curtains, pulled to let in the most possible light, are yellowed on the high windows letting in the clear daylight of summer. As she takes another step, She notices that the cot sags in the corner and has mismatched sheets and a homemade quilt covering it. A Viet Nam era Air Force cap still hangs on a nail above the bed. An ugly metal frame now is around the group picture of young enlisted men. Pictures of the little girl, Kimberly, an older school graduation picture, and a wedding picture of the glowing young woman and a skinny young man are in a variety of frames beside it on the small shelf by the bed next to the stack of unopened medal boxes. Stepping further down, she looks out and down to see that several "whirlybird" yard ornaments are indeed leaned against the side wall, but these are brightly if not garishly painted. Tilting her gaze up slightly as she descends even lower she notes the workbench in the corner still holds a few bird bodies,even more smooth, streamlined, and un-ornamented than the ones before. Old fashioned tools are still arranged on the wall above, but duplicate, and sometimes triplicate shiny new ones
hang along with them. The man, now in his late 40s with a crew cut, a polyester print shirt,and polyester slacks held too high by a belt, gets up from his crouch on a stool next to the workbench. Something in the man's gaze still seems far off, and not quite right. The jagged scar has faded
down the left side of his head from scalp to just below the chin in front of the ear. But a huge smile is plastered across his face as sophisticated Kimberly throws herself into his arms in a huge hug.
Scene 3
The farmhouse in the central plains in 2006, the silence seems to amplify the occasional creak or whistle of wind through the old home. Kimberley wears a black London Fog over a classic and casual black blouse from Michael Coors' Fall line. Her black wool and cashmere slacks fall over a well toned body. Understated gold earrings and a spectacular wedding ring set are her only jewels. Her hair is expertly styled in a French roll, her make up is flawless, more natural looking, and makes her look ten years younger than her actual age of 46. Black Manolo Blanco strapped low heels click against the well worn wooden stairs as she steps purposefully down them. A deep wrenching sense of loss can be read in her eyes and pursed lips as she passes bare wooden shelves. Cobwebs extending from the ceiling corners cast weird shadows where the winter light filters in through the now bare windows. The cot, still sagging, lies stark in the corner. The empty nail above the bed seems an incongruous decoration in the barren room. The small shelf by the bed has been removed and she reaches into her pocket where she can feel one of the unopened medal boxes that lay there for so long. Nothing but the old plastered side wall greets her next gaze. As she descends even lower she notes the workbench in the corner is barren save the gouges and stains on it that time has wrought. The pegboard is gone, as is the stool. Reaching the floor at last, her shoes make each step resound with an echo. She closes her eyes, even though she has cried out the last of the tears long ago. She reaches into her left coat pocket, Slowly, Kimberley extends her arms towards the workbench and lays down upon it a perfectly stained and carved wooden bird.
My first assignment was in Character and Environment. I am supposed to write three scenes in the SAME PLACE with the same 2 people. No dialog. The first scene introduces the new and mysterious place to the main character and ends when the second character meets the first.
The second scene is supposed to be where both are familiar with the environment and the meeting of the two characters is a happy one.
Scene 3 is where the place is deserted. One person is missing and a feeling of nostalgia/sadness is requested in the teacher's assignment page.
Heide Nichols
Assignment 1 Character/Environment
Flight
Scene 1
It is 1966, in the central plains of Kansas. Faintly, SSgt Barry Sadler's "Ballad of the Green Berets" can be heard emanating from elsewhere in the farmhouse. Kimberley, a pigtailed girl about 6 years old, wearing a braided Indian-style headband with a single feather in the back, dressed in dungarees rolled up at the hem, a calico print blouse, and PF Flyers, pads down the an open wooden staircase that leads down the farmhouse cellar as as if she is sneaking down. She is crouched down and peering carefully one direction at a time, her hand, fingers together held horizontally at the level of her eyebrows. as she lowers herself slowly, step by step. The wooden shelves are filled with Mason jars of fruits and vegetables. Gingham curtains cover the high windows that still let light through with a rosy glow. Another step. A cot in the corner has an old green sleeping bag with a bright flannel plaid lining covering it. A Viet Nam era Air Force cap is hung on a nail above the bed. The only other ornamentation is a group picture of young enlisted men in various stages of uniform obviously taken in the jungle which is propped on a small shelf by the bed next to a stack of medal boxes, unopened. One more step down. Several "whirlybird" yard ornaments are leaned against the side wall. The next to last step. A workbench in one corner holds a few roughly carved bird bodies with distinct heads and carved plumage, and old fashioned tools are arranged on a pegboard on the wall above. One last step and she sees a young man in his late 20s, with a severely pomaded hairstyle, buffalo plaid shirt,and dark blue jeans leans over the work bench fine sanding a small wooden bird. Something in the man's gaze seems far off, and not quite right. A jagged scar runs down the left side of his head from scalp to just below the chin in front of the ear. She jumps in surprise, letting out a cross between a squeak and a yell, when she sees the man.
Scene 2
Again, the setting is the farmhouse in the central plains. Now it is 1986 and Billy Idol's cover of "Mony Mony" can be heard faintly from another room. Kimberley,her hair permed and frizzed big, her face heavily made up and nails lacquered, wears a power suit with highly padded shoulders designed to fall gracefully over the swell of an obvious pregnancy. In low heeled shoes, she steps carefully down the slightly squeaking stairs as there is no rail. Smiling confidently, she passes wooden shelves filled with boxes, clothing, and odds and ends. The gingham curtains, pulled to let in the most possible light, are yellowed on the high windows letting in the clear daylight of summer. As she takes another step, She notices that the cot sags in the corner and has mismatched sheets and a homemade quilt covering it. A Viet Nam era Air Force cap still hangs on a nail above the bed. An ugly metal frame now is around the group picture of young enlisted men. Pictures of the little girl, Kimberly, an older school graduation picture, and a wedding picture of the glowing young woman and a skinny young man are in a variety of frames beside it on the small shelf by the bed next to the stack of unopened medal boxes. Stepping further down, she looks out and down to see that several "whirlybird" yard ornaments are indeed leaned against the side wall, but these are brightly if not garishly painted. Tilting her gaze up slightly as she descends even lower she notes the workbench in the corner still holds a few bird bodies,even more smooth, streamlined, and un-ornamented than the ones before. Old fashioned tools are still arranged on the wall above, but duplicate, and sometimes triplicate shiny new ones
hang along with them. The man, now in his late 40s with a crew cut, a polyester print shirt,and polyester slacks held too high by a belt, gets up from his crouch on a stool next to the workbench. Something in the man's gaze still seems far off, and not quite right. The jagged scar has faded
down the left side of his head from scalp to just below the chin in front of the ear. But a huge smile is plastered across his face as sophisticated Kimberly throws herself into his arms in a huge hug.
Scene 3
The farmhouse in the central plains in 2006, the silence seems to amplify the occasional creak or whistle of wind through the old home. Kimberley wears a black London Fog over a classic and casual black blouse from Michael Coors' Fall line. Her black wool and cashmere slacks fall over a well toned body. Understated gold earrings and a spectacular wedding ring set are her only jewels. Her hair is expertly styled in a French roll, her make up is flawless, more natural looking, and makes her look ten years younger than her actual age of 46. Black Manolo Blanco strapped low heels click against the well worn wooden stairs as she steps purposefully down them. A deep wrenching sense of loss can be read in her eyes and pursed lips as she passes bare wooden shelves. Cobwebs extending from the ceiling corners cast weird shadows where the winter light filters in through the now bare windows. The cot, still sagging, lies stark in the corner. The empty nail above the bed seems an incongruous decoration in the barren room. The small shelf by the bed has been removed and she reaches into her pocket where she can feel one of the unopened medal boxes that lay there for so long. Nothing but the old plastered side wall greets her next gaze. As she descends even lower she notes the workbench in the corner is barren save the gouges and stains on it that time has wrought. The pegboard is gone, as is the stool. Reaching the floor at last, her shoes make each step resound with an echo. She closes her eyes, even though she has cried out the last of the tears long ago. She reaches into her left coat pocket, Slowly, Kimberley extends her arms towards the workbench and lays down upon it a perfectly stained and carved wooden bird.