She was trying not to think about the next morning. She was trying but not succeeding. He had to pack. She tried to be in there when he started but every item tucked away in his suitcase was one less thing she would have at the house. One more reminder that he wasn't there with her. She started to cry so she went to another part of the house and kept herself busy so he could finish.
The clomping of him coming down the stairs triggered her that he was probably done so she called out "In the kitchen!"
He put his suitcase, backpack, and laptop by the door and went to join her in the kitchen. Immediately he could tell she had been crying and his heart hurt.
He warmed up some leftover pizza and sat at the table with her on his lap. "I love you so much."
While he ate she curled up against him and nuzzled his neck. He'd been telling her that he loved her a lot since informing her about the trip. She was insecure. It was no secret and she hated that it hurt him. If she could have helped it, she would have but the best she could do was attempt to be strong so he didn't have to feel guilty. It wasn't an easy act to keep up.
"I love you too" She whispered against the hollow of his throat. Her hands slid around him and held him. Her hands balled in his shirt but she wouldn't cry again. Not if she could help it. "You all packed?"
As much as telling her loved her was to comfort her it was also to comfort his own breaking heart. He couldn't stand the fact that it was going to be a month before he'd say it again in person so he was trying to get a month's worth of I love yous in before he left.
He nodded and held the pizza out for her to take a bite. "Yep, everything is by the stairs ad I have my clothes already for tomorrow." He dug his nose in the crook of her neck. "I have a whole folder of pictures of you. It's not going to be enough but it will have to do."
Lauren shook her head. She'd been having to force herself to eat all day. Her stomach wasn't upset. She just didn't have much of an appetite.
"I think I'm going to work on the house when you're gone. There's enough little projects to keep me busy for a few weeks. Plus I'm sure it would be nice to come home to it all fixed up. It's weird but I want color. I'm sick of white walls."
He nodded, though he was worried. "You need to eat. The baby is hungry even if you aren't."
"That's a good thing to do. I'll help when I get back. I bet Adrian and Adam will help while I'm gone even." He kissed her neck everywhere. "What colors do you think?"
He smiles adoringly at his wife. "Good. I shouldn't have been worried. You're a great mother. You would never let our son be hungry."
"Green would definitely be good," Andy said predictably. "Maybe we could do a few different shades of green. When I we get back we can do the baby's room together."
He finished eating and set the plate on the table. He held her hands in his and rested his lips on her knuckles. "I'm sorry I have to go away to get this promotion. I'm sorry I can't provide for you better."
"Sounds good" She started with a little smile. "I'll save the baby room for when you come home." Plans were good. Plans helped make her feel more solid that he would come home and not run off with his ex.
She slipped on hand out of his and cupped his cheek. "What sort of Betty Crocker kind of world do you think we're living in, babe? You don't have to be the breadwinner. We're a team. You don't have to shoulder this. I'm happy to help. I wouldn't be happy if I didn't. I am proud of you though. You've worked so hard for us. In not even a year, you have become one of the youngest to be in the job that you have and after only 3 months at this paper they want to promote you. They want to send you on stories. That's huge. You're so incredible to me." She said insistently punctuating it with a little kiss.
"I can't wait to really get things ready for him to arrive. I can't wait to buy him those and blankets and all that stuff. And to get you mummy stuff! Like a nappy changing table and one of those nursing blankets and baby slings!" His expression was somewhere between glee and adoration.
"It's not that. I was talking to James. I asked him how he dealt with being away from Ava while he was on tour." Andy frowned. "Apparently she's been traveling with him. He's promised not to spend more than two weeks away from her. I'm never going to be able to do with you. We can't afford for you not to work for weeks at a time very often. I know it's silly since we aren't going to have to deal with traveling nearly as much as they are but it still made me feel ashamed that I can't make the same promises to you. That I can't give you as much as James can give Ava." He kissed her softly. "I love you."
She grinned imagining it. "I just can't wait until he starts moving. I want to feel him."
"Baby," She said softly as her face crumpled into concern. "Don't compare yourself to James. He has money but he had to lose his parents to get it. The travel, the music, all of it is his way of filling that void. I would rather have your parents for all the money in the world. Ku is going to want his grandma and grandpa."
"Me too. I'm glad he'll be here with you when I'm away at least," Andy kissed her.
"I know and I wouldn't give them up for all the money in the world. I generally don't mind that we're destined to be a two income family. I just... well Ava only works intermittendly according to James. I'm sorry you don't have that option."
"It probably smells like pickles today." she laughed. "I've probably had like 8 of them."
Her head rested against his chest. There was almost a foot height difference between them but somehow they fit together. She could hear his heart. After a minute her own beat fell in step with his. It was an odd sort of phenomenon but it always made her feel a little more connected with him when it happened. "Perfect for you maybe."
The clomping of him coming down the stairs triggered her that he was probably done so she called out "In the kitchen!"
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He warmed up some leftover pizza and sat at the table with her on his lap. "I love you so much."
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"I love you too" She whispered against the hollow of his throat. Her hands slid around him and held him. Her hands balled in his shirt but she wouldn't cry again. Not if she could help it. "You all packed?"
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He nodded and held the pizza out for her to take a bite. "Yep, everything is by the stairs ad I have my clothes already for tomorrow." He dug his nose in the crook of her neck. "I have a whole folder of pictures of you. It's not going to be enough but it will have to do."
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"I think I'm going to work on the house when you're gone. There's enough little projects to keep me busy for a few weeks. Plus I'm sure it would be nice to come home to it all fixed up. It's weird but I want color. I'm sick of white walls."
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"That's a good thing to do. I'll help when I get back. I bet Adrian and Adam will help while I'm gone even." He kissed her neck everywhere. "What colors do you think?"
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Lauren had to stop and think. "I don't know. I like brown and green or brown and blue but I don't know if I want to do the whole house that way."
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"Green would definitely be good," Andy said predictably. "Maybe we could do a few different shades of green. When I we get back we can do the baby's room together."
He finished eating and set the plate on the table. He held her hands in his and rested his lips on her knuckles. "I'm sorry I have to go away to get this promotion. I'm sorry I can't provide for you better."
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She slipped on hand out of his and cupped his cheek. "What sort of Betty Crocker kind of world do you think we're living in, babe? You don't have to be the breadwinner. We're a team. You don't have to shoulder this. I'm happy to help. I wouldn't be happy if I didn't. I am proud of you though. You've worked so hard for us. In not even a year, you have become one of the youngest to be in the job that you have and after only 3 months at this paper they want to promote you. They want to send you on stories. That's huge. You're so incredible to me." She said insistently punctuating it with a little kiss.
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"It's not that. I was talking to James. I asked him how he dealt with being away from Ava while he was on tour." Andy frowned. "Apparently she's been traveling with him. He's promised not to spend more than two weeks away from her. I'm never going to be able to do with you. We can't afford for you not to work for weeks at a time very often. I know it's silly since we aren't going to have to deal with traveling nearly as much as they are but it still made me feel ashamed that I can't make the same promises to you. That I can't give you as much as James can give Ava." He kissed her softly. "I love you."
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"Baby," She said softly as her face crumpled into concern. "Don't compare yourself to James. He has money but he had to lose his parents to get it. The travel, the music, all of it is his way of filling that void. I would rather have your parents for all the money in the world. Ku is going to want his grandma and grandpa."
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"I know and I wouldn't give them up for all the money in the world. I generally don't mind that we're destined to be a two income family. I just... well Ava only works intermittendly according to James. I'm sorry you don't have that option."
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"I never imagined a life where I would have that sort of option. I'm not missing out on anything darlin'."
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"I know. I like that we're a team you know? Not one of us following the other around." He hugged her. "You're perfect."
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Her head rested against his chest. There was almost a foot height difference between them but somehow they fit together. She could hear his heart. After a minute her own beat fell in step with his. It was an odd sort of phenomenon but it always made her feel a little more connected with him when it happened. "Perfect for you maybe."
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He kissed her head. "Perfect for me, yes. But also as perfect as I could imagine a woman being."
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