Getting ready...
*backdated to right before the second chance date*
Cheese puffs, gum, and an unidentified blue substance were among the gunk stuck on Andy's only pair of dressy shoes. He sat boxer clad on the couch with shaving gel on his face, attempting to scrap the mess from the sole with a pencil. It was seriously a danger zone in every room of this house save Andy's bedroom and the bathroom. He was dreading the day a sober woman would set foot in here; more than likely it wouldn't ever go well.
Kissy noises interrupted Andy's internal grumblings. He was suddenly the filling in bachelor sandwich. Adrian's arm swung around Andy's neck. "Look at this guy, getting all dolled up. Do you feel pretty Longbottom? Oh so pretty?" His roommates cracked up and shoved their half dressed friend playfully between them.
"You guys are such slobs! Look at this!" Andy showed Jay then Adrian the gunk on his shoe. Jay swiped his finger across the mess and stuck in his mouth. "Jungle juice, poster putty, Cheetos and something minty. Not bad."
Andy cracked up and headed for the bathroom, shouting a declaration of Jay's disgustingness over his shoulder.
"I'm gonna take a piss while you have your shave okay?" Jay faced the toilet and unclasped his belt.
"Fine. I just won't turn round," Andy said concentrating on the razor against his skin. He wondered if the fact that they could share the bathroom like that was a sign they'd been living together too long. Normal people probably didn't pee with their friends in the room. Normal people probably didn't have serious conversations in the bathroom. For some reason the bond of Jay and Andy and Adrian had a lot to do with sharing that bathroom. Andy could tell by Jay's tone that he was being serious and that he was genuinely curious.
"So what's all this fuss for, mate? Shaving, pulling out the old tie and vest."
"I wear that all the time, what do you mean?"
"You forgot you had it, I bet 40 quid."
"I'm going to look nice for once. Is that alright with you, Mr. gigantic bladder?"
"Aw shut it, Andy. You haven't put this much effort into a girl since Sela."
"Let's not talk about her. Ever." He turned to his friend with his razor in his hand, a serious expression on his face. "Lauren's not a thing like Sela."
Jay put his palms in the air. "So what's she like then, eh? Is she hot?"
Andy laughed. "She's gorgeous. Dark hair, dark eyes, small frame, athletic body. Cute smile."
"You're such a dweeb, Longbottom. Get serious and grow a pair. This girl sounds like another case of the Sela's and you don't need to do that to yourself. Don't get dressed, stay here with us. We can get Rice and Phil over and we'll smoke a doobie, eat some cheese puffs and watch 1930s cartoons until we pass out. It'll be ace, mate." Jay crossed his arms.
"Yeah, alright, you guys do that. I'm going to go get laid." Andy rolled his eyes at his friend and washed the rest of his shave gel off. "Lauren's very much different from Sela. I promise you."
Jay tossed Andy his shirt. "How do you know? You don't know her but a few weeks and already you're going tie and cologne for her. Don't do this to yourself again."
"She's different, Jay. She's just as weary about relationships as I am," he tied his tie. "And she's just so cool. She's athletic and can drink either of us under the table easily. Besides we're just going on a date, I didn't propose or something."
"Yeah, you propose to her and Adrian and I are kicking you out," Jay teased. He put his arm around his friend and pulled him into a side hug. A sigh escaped his lips. "Oh Andy, my brother. Please be smart."
Andy smiled. "At this point, being smart might not have a thing to do with my life."
Cheese puffs, gum, and an unidentified blue substance were among the gunk stuck on Andy's only pair of dressy shoes. He sat boxer clad on the couch with shaving gel on his face, attempting to scrap the mess from the sole with a pencil. It was seriously a danger zone in every room of this house save Andy's bedroom and the bathroom. He was dreading the day a sober woman would set foot in here; more than likely it wouldn't ever go well.
Kissy noises interrupted Andy's internal grumblings. He was suddenly the filling in bachelor sandwich. Adrian's arm swung around Andy's neck. "Look at this guy, getting all dolled up. Do you feel pretty Longbottom? Oh so pretty?" His roommates cracked up and shoved their half dressed friend playfully between them.
"You guys are such slobs! Look at this!" Andy showed Jay then Adrian the gunk on his shoe. Jay swiped his finger across the mess and stuck in his mouth. "Jungle juice, poster putty, Cheetos and something minty. Not bad."
Andy cracked up and headed for the bathroom, shouting a declaration of Jay's disgustingness over his shoulder.
"I'm gonna take a piss while you have your shave okay?" Jay faced the toilet and unclasped his belt.
"Fine. I just won't turn round," Andy said concentrating on the razor against his skin. He wondered if the fact that they could share the bathroom like that was a sign they'd been living together too long. Normal people probably didn't pee with their friends in the room. Normal people probably didn't have serious conversations in the bathroom. For some reason the bond of Jay and Andy and Adrian had a lot to do with sharing that bathroom. Andy could tell by Jay's tone that he was being serious and that he was genuinely curious.
"So what's all this fuss for, mate? Shaving, pulling out the old tie and vest."
"I wear that all the time, what do you mean?"
"You forgot you had it, I bet 40 quid."
"I'm going to look nice for once. Is that alright with you, Mr. gigantic bladder?"
"Aw shut it, Andy. You haven't put this much effort into a girl since Sela."
"Let's not talk about her. Ever." He turned to his friend with his razor in his hand, a serious expression on his face. "Lauren's not a thing like Sela."
Jay put his palms in the air. "So what's she like then, eh? Is she hot?"
Andy laughed. "She's gorgeous. Dark hair, dark eyes, small frame, athletic body. Cute smile."
"You're such a dweeb, Longbottom. Get serious and grow a pair. This girl sounds like another case of the Sela's and you don't need to do that to yourself. Don't get dressed, stay here with us. We can get Rice and Phil over and we'll smoke a doobie, eat some cheese puffs and watch 1930s cartoons until we pass out. It'll be ace, mate." Jay crossed his arms.
"Yeah, alright, you guys do that. I'm going to go get laid." Andy rolled his eyes at his friend and washed the rest of his shave gel off. "Lauren's very much different from Sela. I promise you."
Jay tossed Andy his shirt. "How do you know? You don't know her but a few weeks and already you're going tie and cologne for her. Don't do this to yourself again."
"She's different, Jay. She's just as weary about relationships as I am," he tied his tie. "And she's just so cool. She's athletic and can drink either of us under the table easily. Besides we're just going on a date, I didn't propose or something."
"Yeah, you propose to her and Adrian and I are kicking you out," Jay teased. He put his arm around his friend and pulled him into a side hug. A sigh escaped his lips. "Oh Andy, my brother. Please be smart."
Andy smiled. "At this point, being smart might not have a thing to do with my life."