You are in the Swear Box
pARSE wHOLE
There has got to be a law somewhere.
There has got to be a law that states something akin to, "All new inventions must immediately be sexually experimented with." Whether it's the evolution of VCRs, televisions and computers for the conveyance of porn, or just the general misuse of inanimate objects (e.g. toaster ovens, cantaloupes, fur-removal mittens), I'm almost certain that a large portion of modern man's intellectual power has been quietly diverted towards the practice of finding ways to stick his penis into, gain and maintain an erection from, or inappropriately fondle just about everything he has had the ability to lock himself in the bathroom with. Not me, of course - why are you making this about me?
Anyhow, there is a small group of activists who have attempted to contain the spread of such foul behaviour. Yes, the underappreciated Text Adventure Game Programmers Union (TAG-PU) has recently embarked on a crusade to rid the whimsical world of interactive fiction of the pernicious influences caused by parser-based vulgarity. Long gone are the times when a 13 year old boy could openly snigger at the word "snigger", and these Strict Adventure Constructionists have managed to bring similar judicial restraint of expression to the world of computer gaming.
Luckily, with the wonderful archiving abilities of the intraweb, the last ever documented cases of Text Adventure swearing have been posted for historical reference. Please don't be too offended while reading - keep in mind, those were barbaric times.
Goto: Profanity Adventures
Shart Imitates Life
A walkthrough of the next three days:
>BOARD PLANE
>VISIT FLORIDA
>SLEEP
>DO THINGS
>SLEEP
>DO THINGS
>SLEEP
>DO THINGS
>BOARD PLANE
>RETURN TO CALIFORNIA
>GET BLANKET
>WANK IN BLANKET
>QUIT
>Y
There has got to be a law somewhere.
There has got to be a law that states something akin to, "All new inventions must immediately be sexually experimented with." Whether it's the evolution of VCRs, televisions and computers for the conveyance of porn, or just the general misuse of inanimate objects (e.g. toaster ovens, cantaloupes, fur-removal mittens), I'm almost certain that a large portion of modern man's intellectual power has been quietly diverted towards the practice of finding ways to stick his penis into, gain and maintain an erection from, or inappropriately fondle just about everything he has had the ability to lock himself in the bathroom with. Not me, of course - why are you making this about me?
Anyhow, there is a small group of activists who have attempted to contain the spread of such foul behaviour. Yes, the underappreciated Text Adventure Game Programmers Union (TAG-PU) has recently embarked on a crusade to rid the whimsical world of interactive fiction of the pernicious influences caused by parser-based vulgarity. Long gone are the times when a 13 year old boy could openly snigger at the word "snigger", and these Strict Adventure Constructionists have managed to bring similar judicial restraint of expression to the world of computer gaming.
Luckily, with the wonderful archiving abilities of the intraweb, the last ever documented cases of Text Adventure swearing have been posted for historical reference. Please don't be too offended while reading - keep in mind, those were barbaric times.
Goto: Profanity Adventures
Shart Imitates Life
A walkthrough of the next three days:
>BOARD PLANE
>VISIT FLORIDA
>SLEEP
>DO THINGS
>SLEEP
>DO THINGS
>SLEEP
>DO THINGS
>BOARD PLANE
>RETURN TO CALIFORNIA
>GET BLANKET
>WANK IN BLANKET
>QUIT
>Y