Contrasts and confusion
What? Alliteration is fun. :D
Today started off so well. The response to the fic I posted last night has been amazing, and really started my day off quite spectacularly. Work, however, was just...
Yeah. That great.
I don't know if it's the fact that I'm a girl and sometimes being a girl really sucks, or if it's just that I've been having a generally shi**y day, but I've nearly burst into tears about six times today over really stupid things.
I'm making errors at work. Which is OK really, as I'm still in training and can't be expected to get everything right. But it's making me feel stupid, and when I feel stupid I just get so angry at myself. Which is why I had the following written on my notepad to refer to at opportune moments: "People love you. They love your words, your story and your characters. Just look at your reviews. <---- Therefore you cannot possibly suck as much as you think you do right now." It didn't really work.
It doesn't help that my trainer thinks I'm not doing some things properly. She keeps telling me that I need to read each case's history, and that I'm obviously not doing that. I couldn't tell her that, actually, I am doing that, and that the fact that I'm clearly not understanding what I'm reading doesn't mean I'm not reading it. I'm sorry for not having an intuitive grasp of pension policies and wordings and things that come after working somewhere for slightly longer than I've been out of nappies for. It's not my fault. Although I really need to stand up for myself a bit more.
And then just when I've got myself back home and cheered up (yay more reviews!) I see spoilers that make me sulky. I need to stop expecting so much out of Disney. All I'm saying is that not everybody hooks up with someone in school, and that ambiguity would be much better than them trying to give a straight (hah) answer. I really need to not get so worked up about the issue, but at the same time it means something to me.
I' going to wrap this up now.
Everything will be fine. Everything, in no time at all. Hearts will hold.
♥ ♥ ♥
Today started off so well. The response to the fic I posted last night has been amazing, and really started my day off quite spectacularly. Work, however, was just...
Yeah. That great.
I don't know if it's the fact that I'm a girl and sometimes being a girl really sucks, or if it's just that I've been having a generally shi**y day, but I've nearly burst into tears about six times today over really stupid things.
I'm making errors at work. Which is OK really, as I'm still in training and can't be expected to get everything right. But it's making me feel stupid, and when I feel stupid I just get so angry at myself. Which is why I had the following written on my notepad to refer to at opportune moments: "People love you. They love your words, your story and your characters. Just look at your reviews. <---- Therefore you cannot possibly suck as much as you think you do right now." It didn't really work.
It doesn't help that my trainer thinks I'm not doing some things properly. She keeps telling me that I need to read each case's history, and that I'm obviously not doing that. I couldn't tell her that, actually, I am doing that, and that the fact that I'm clearly not understanding what I'm reading doesn't mean I'm not reading it. I'm sorry for not having an intuitive grasp of pension policies and wordings and things that come after working somewhere for slightly longer than I've been out of nappies for. It's not my fault. Although I really need to stand up for myself a bit more.
And then just when I've got myself back home and cheered up (yay more reviews!) I see spoilers that make me sulky. I need to stop expecting so much out of Disney. All I'm saying is that not everybody hooks up with someone in school, and that ambiguity would be much better than them trying to give a straight (hah) answer. I really need to not get so worked up about the issue, but at the same time it means something to me.
I' going to wrap this up now.
Everything will be fine. Everything, in no time at all. Hearts will hold.
♥ ♥ ♥