what to feel, what to feel
this time of the year sucks. my depression is kind of seasonal, so here it is, the coldest and bleakest time of year. today is the day after fucking valentine's day. classes are just starting to get serious. boys are treating me like shit. bleh. i can't drink away my problems because i get all emtotional and shit and start to rant and rave and eventually get teary-eyed. smoking wal mart is effective, but only for a little while. the night begins to come to a conclusion and i fall into this pit. ugh.
but here's one thing i am grateful for. the best friends anyone could ever hope for. i have never felt more comfortable with people in my whole life. not even my family. they've helped me break down every single barrier i've worked my whole life to put up. they'd do almost anything for me.
i could call lynette at four in the morning and she would get out of bed, come to walker, and talk to me about my problems. teresa always has my back and i always know that she cares about what's going on with me. best roomie and friend ever. adam will absolutely not let me alone when he knows something is wrong with me. he'll drag it out of me, making me laugh the whole time. ashley is always there to listen to my constant sorrows, and she shows true sympathy. i always feel better after i talk to her. nelms is loyal as hell. all the others will sit there, drunk with me, and bitch about the asshole who's making me sad. they take care of me. we take care of each other. it's beautiful.
but here's one thing i am grateful for. the best friends anyone could ever hope for. i have never felt more comfortable with people in my whole life. not even my family. they've helped me break down every single barrier i've worked my whole life to put up. they'd do almost anything for me.
i could call lynette at four in the morning and she would get out of bed, come to walker, and talk to me about my problems. teresa always has my back and i always know that she cares about what's going on with me. best roomie and friend ever. adam will absolutely not let me alone when he knows something is wrong with me. he'll drag it out of me, making me laugh the whole time. ashley is always there to listen to my constant sorrows, and she shows true sympathy. i always feel better after i talk to her. nelms is loyal as hell. all the others will sit there, drunk with me, and bitch about the asshole who's making me sad. they take care of me. we take care of each other. it's beautiful.