pissed: a public service rant
We interrupt your regularly scheduled chaos for this public service rant.
Ok. This has been bothering me for a while, and usually I just let it go, but dammit, something HAS to be said! I am SO TIRED of going to use the restroom, only to find that the chick who used the stall before me has used the toilet seat as her own personal canvas to try and create a Jackson Pollock out of urine. Then I have to stand there, doing the "holy crap I waited too long and I may very well piss myself" dance and wipe someone else's piss off of the seat before I can sit down and make my bladder gladder. I mean, really girls, is this necessary? It's not as if aiming into the bowl is that much of a challenge - WE FUCKING SIT ON IT! Unless, of coarse, you are a 'hoverer.'
hov-er-er - n. - one who hovers over the bowl, as they are afraid, if their skin comes into contact with the toilet seat, they're going to catch some horrible, ass-rotting disease.
I understand the plight of the hoverer, I really do, the prospect of contracting ass germs can be scary sometimes, but, for fuck sake...if you piss on the seat, WIPE IT UP! You'd think that someone who has assgermophobia would at least be considerate of the possibility that there are other people who suffer from assgermophobia and wipe THEIR OWN PISS off of the seat! C'mon, ladies...suck it up and clean up after yourself. Next time you spray, remember this time-honored saying before going on with your day:
"If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat."
Thank you.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled boring old Monday.
Ok. This has been bothering me for a while, and usually I just let it go, but dammit, something HAS to be said! I am SO TIRED of going to use the restroom, only to find that the chick who used the stall before me has used the toilet seat as her own personal canvas to try and create a Jackson Pollock out of urine. Then I have to stand there, doing the "holy crap I waited too long and I may very well piss myself" dance and wipe someone else's piss off of the seat before I can sit down and make my bladder gladder. I mean, really girls, is this necessary? It's not as if aiming into the bowl is that much of a challenge - WE FUCKING SIT ON IT! Unless, of coarse, you are a 'hoverer.'
hov-er-er - n. - one who hovers over the bowl, as they are afraid, if their skin comes into contact with the toilet seat, they're going to catch some horrible, ass-rotting disease.
I understand the plight of the hoverer, I really do, the prospect of contracting ass germs can be scary sometimes, but, for fuck sake...if you piss on the seat, WIPE IT UP! You'd think that someone who has assgermophobia would at least be considerate of the possibility that there are other people who suffer from assgermophobia and wipe THEIR OWN PISS off of the seat! C'mon, ladies...suck it up and clean up after yourself. Next time you spray, remember this time-honored saying before going on with your day:
"If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat."
Thank you.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled boring old Monday.