A co dependent's lovesong.

[magicalcrap]

Getting to know yourself truly for the first time
in your entire life.. man. It's hard. Beyond hard.
Especially when your mind (your own worst enemy) keeps
pulling you away from what you're learning and tries to
shove your nose in your old shit. After the one co-dependent's
anonymous meeting I went to, I haven't been back. I suppose
there are different kinds of meetings, and I could try something
else. Something's just been stopping me. I want to get better.
I want to heal from my past, accept the fact.. truly truly accept
the fact that I'm a good person, worth good things. Trying
to change behaviours you've had for almost 28 years is damned
near impossible.

I'm supposed to be discovering my inner child. Helping her
heal and find her way out of the misty place she's lost in.
Yeah, I have no frikken clue how to even start looking for her.
I went to Sea World with friends and decided to let myself spend
30 bucks on this giant soft cuddly stuffed manatee. I was enamoured
for about five minutes before the guilt of how much money I just
spent washed over me. So much for being a little kid. I keep getting
in my own way. Anyone have any ideas? I'm feeling very alone and
very frustrated right now...