Topic 32- Letter
Topic 32: Therapists say that the best way to work through unresolved issues is to write a letter and say all the things you need to say to the person you are having conflict with. This can be a letter you decide to send, but more often than not it will be a letter that no one but you will read. We want you to write a letter to someone, anyone, and say whatever it is you need to say. You can be completely honest in this letter because most likely, you will probably decide not to send it.
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Dear Willow,
I don't want to believe that you had anything to do with... this, but how could I not? You knew I had reservations with Buffy, you encouraged Dawn with Joyce...
I really wanted to forgive you for everything. I thought our getting back together would've been a way to fully repair things but there was always that lingering thought. That "what if" in the back of my head. I wanted our love to make it all go away.
I know what happened after I died. Heaven doesn't have big screen televisons or anything, it's more like feelings, but with you? Goddess. Everyone felt it. I know you'd argue that it was because of our love and it just set you over the deep end, but somewhere deep inside I think you thought what you were doing was retribution... like I'd appreciate my death being avenged. I didn't. I never liked what you called an "addiction" and you knew that. Did you think that it impressed me? I know you'd say you didn't, but sometimes you seemed so desperate for our approval that I doubt you were thinking clearly then. And with the mind-wiping? I hate to compare things with rape, because I've never experienced that kind of horror, but knowing that someone has more control over your mind than you do, especially after Glory, was completely devastating. I have never felt more helpless. But you didn't care. Authority over me was more important to you than thinking about my feelings.
I know about Cassie too. What she said wasn't entirely untrue. Of course, it had that twist of evil Firstly goodness, but I was always terrified that you were going to lose control again. I knew that Giles was working with you and I wanted to believe that it was going to be different. I really did- but here I am. Who else could have done it but you, Willow? Dawnie tried with Joyce, but only because you pointed the way. Dawnie learned her lesson. Did you? Did you really believe me when I said that Wiccans had been discouraging the use of those magicks for ages because of how dangerous they were, or did you think they were some kind of scare tactic?
So far I seem fine. Maybe I just got off lucky, or maybe there's something totally wrong that I haven't found yet. Or maybe all of these people I'm seeing on this desert island are the dysfunction. Did you pull me out of a place where I was able to be with my mom all the time to one where I'm terrified all the time and surrounded by strangers?
When will I lose this connection with you? I love you, but I can't stand the thought of being anywhere near you. Sometimes, I can't even stand the thought of you existing. I would rather believe what we had was a beautiful dream. It makes me hate dislike you so much less.
Love Yours Always
-Tara
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Word Count: 501
[locked]
Dear Willow,
I don't want to believe that you had anything to do with... this, but how could I not? You knew I had reservations with Buffy, you encouraged Dawn with Joyce...
I really wanted to forgive you for everything. I thought our getting back together would've been a way to fully repair things but there was always that lingering thought. That "what if" in the back of my head. I wanted our love to make it all go away.
I know what happened after I died. Heaven doesn't have big screen televisons or anything, it's more like feelings, but with you? Goddess. Everyone felt it. I know you'd argue that it was because of our love and it just set you over the deep end, but somewhere deep inside I think you thought what you were doing was retribution... like I'd appreciate my death being avenged. I didn't. I never liked what you called an "addiction" and you knew that. Did you think that it impressed me? I know you'd say you didn't, but sometimes you seemed so desperate for our approval that I doubt you were thinking clearly then. And with the mind-wiping? I hate to compare things with rape, because I've never experienced that kind of horror, but knowing that someone has more control over your mind than you do, especially after Glory, was completely devastating. I have never felt more helpless. But you didn't care. Authority over me was more important to you than thinking about my feelings.
I know about Cassie too. What she said wasn't entirely untrue. Of course, it had that twist of evil Firstly goodness, but I was always terrified that you were going to lose control again. I knew that Giles was working with you and I wanted to believe that it was going to be different. I really did- but here I am. Who else could have done it but you, Willow? Dawnie tried with Joyce, but only because you pointed the way. Dawnie learned her lesson. Did you? Did you really believe me when I said that Wiccans had been discouraging the use of those magicks for ages because of how dangerous they were, or did you think they were some kind of scare tactic?
So far I seem fine. Maybe I just got off lucky, or maybe there's something totally wrong that I haven't found yet. Or maybe all of these people I'm seeing on this desert island are the dysfunction. Did you pull me out of a place where I was able to be with my mom all the time to one where I'm terrified all the time and surrounded by strangers?
When will I lose this connection with you? I love you, but I can't stand the thought of being anywhere near you. Sometimes, I can't even stand the thought of you existing. I would rather believe what we had was a beautiful dream. It makes me hate dislike you so much less.
Love Yours Always
-Tara
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Word Count: 501