November Etiquette and Author Plug
While checking my Yahoo group of one of my favourite writters Matthew Haldeman-Time Author of Off The Record and In This Land Serise, (who you all should check out by the way, he is fabulous, I'LL post a link below) I happen to stubble across this funny list. As a Canadian this doesn't really apply to me but I thought I would post this for my American neighbours still giddy over the fact that Barack Obama is the newest President-elect. Please remember that this is a joke and is not necessarily a comment the behaviour of Democratic Americans. Enjoy.
Cheers,
MJ
p.s. The link to Matthew Website is wwww.matthewhaldemantime.com
*November 5th Etiquette (Maybeit should be November Etiquette)
My People -
Obama WON this thing. There will be a lot of people (some of our co-workers included) who will be afraid that an Obama presidency will usher in the end of days. They'll be watching us on November 5th for signs of the end times.
To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid - at least for the first few days:
1) No crying, hugging or shouting 'Thank you Lord' - all in the mall, at Wal-Mart, or at Work.
2) No high-fives - at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses
3) Swangin in the street with Barack Obama stickers on your car is _not_ supportive.
4) No calling in sick on November 5th. They'll get nervous if too many of us don't show up.
5) We're allowed to give each other winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.
6) No singing loudly, "We've come this Far By Faith" (it will be acceptable to hum softly)
7) No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chittlings or collard greens AT ALL) (this may make us seem to ethnic)
8 ) No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)
9) No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)
10) Please no "Moving on Up" music (we are going to try to remain humble)
11) No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you're in your office with the door closed)
12) Please try not to yell----BOOOO YAH!
13.) Just in case you're wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch, or a back hand spring on the highway is 100% okay. *
*14.) DO NOT curse out your boss, and quit your job. BARACK won…not you!*
*15.) Please, please, please don’t come to work the next day with Black Panther gear, or afro picks. (Just try to be your normal self)*
*16.) Do not start calling it "The Black House" and telling people "we bout to make some changes up in here". *
*17.) You cannot run through people's yards kicking down McCain/Palin signs (You will go too jail for that)*
*18.) Please refrain from referring to the President as "My ni33a Barack" (Totally Unacceptable)*
*19.) Do not think you will be pardoned from child support or any other obligations because Obama won. *
*20.) Lastly, please do not think you can "Call up there" to the White House and speak to Barack personally when you need something done. He is the President, not your cousin.
Cheers,
MJ
p.s. The link to Matthew Website is wwww.matthewhaldemantime.com
*November 5th Etiquette (Maybeit should be November Etiquette)
My People -
Obama WON this thing. There will be a lot of people (some of our co-workers included) who will be afraid that an Obama presidency will usher in the end of days. They'll be watching us on November 5th for signs of the end times.
To keep the peace and keep a lot of folks from getting nervous, I think we should develop a list of acceptable celebrations and behaviors we should probably avoid - at least for the first few days:
1) No crying, hugging or shouting 'Thank you Lord' - all in the mall, at Wal-Mart, or at Work.
2) No high-fives - at least not unless the area is clear and there are no witnesses
3) Swangin in the street with Barack Obama stickers on your car is _not_ supportive.
4) No calling in sick on November 5th. They'll get nervous if too many of us don't show up.
5) We're allowed to give each other winks or nods in passing. Just try to keep from grinning too hard.
6) No singing loudly, "We've come this Far By Faith" (it will be acceptable to hum softly)
7) No bringing of barbeque ribs or fried chicken for lunch in the company lunchroom for at least a week (no chittlings or collard greens AT ALL) (this may make us seem to ethnic)
8 ) No leaving kool-aid packages at the water fountain (this might be a sign that poor folks might be getting a break through)
9) No Cupid Shuffle during breaks (this could indicate a little too much excitement)
10) Please no "Moving on Up" music (we are going to try to remain humble)
11) No doing the George Jefferson dance (unless you're in your office with the door closed)
12) Please try not to yell----BOOOO YAH!
13.) Just in case you're wondering, Doing the Running Man, cabbage patch, or a back hand spring on the highway is 100% okay. *
*14.) DO NOT curse out your boss, and quit your job. BARACK won…not you!*
*15.) Please, please, please don’t come to work the next day with Black Panther gear, or afro picks. (Just try to be your normal self)*
*16.) Do not start calling it "The Black House" and telling people "we bout to make some changes up in here". *
*17.) You cannot run through people's yards kicking down McCain/Palin signs (You will go too jail for that)*
*18.) Please refrain from referring to the President as "My ni33a Barack" (Totally Unacceptable)*
*19.) Do not think you will be pardoned from child support or any other obligations because Obama won. *
*20.) Lastly, please do not think you can "Call up there" to the White House and speak to Barack personally when you need something done. He is the President, not your cousin.