Recent Events
One week ago, I wrote to my Landlady and attached an 8 PAGE letter of the things that have been going on in this building that break the law, and about my having to go to the police when she was away for 6 months (not leaving us a caretaker for the building) and the things that need fixing and everything else that has been holding both of us prisoners of anger, fear and anxiety.
I did not receive a response so I printed it off and deposited it on her doorknob, yesterday, and finally heard back. I have now forwarded it to an email address that she checks more often and look forward to these problems being resolved or us moving on from here.
Yesterday, I left the inside of my home and spent the day outside!! I went to a classic car show (pictures to come when I figure out where the hell they are stored on the internet. B uploaded them at his workplace to my website that comes with my Imagen account, which I have never used?).
We also wandered around the Market (something I did every Sat, for the past few years on a break from work). I got to see many, many people who (as they always did, before) greeted me with enthusiasm and wrapped their arms around me and seemed very pleased to see me.
The best meeting of the day came from Azalea, aged 3 months, brand shiny new and clinging to the shoulder of her Mom, Chantelle (a Quebec transplant to SSI, who goes to India for 6 months a year to buy clothing and then sells it in the market). I didn't ask who the daddy was, but I did whisper into Azalea's ear and told her the exact same thing that I tell every baby I meet..."Stay a baby...don't ever grow up...being a baby is WAY better than being an adult!"
Chantelle smiled and went "awww" and I explained to her, unfortunately, that no baby has ever once listened to me, but I am forever hopeful! :-D
We came home for a few hours and then went out at sunset and saw a beautiful display of fireworks, right on Ganges Harbour. The docks were crowded with people, and my friends, Tim and John (gay couple that own the local video store and just got married under Canada's new marriage laws) were on the balcony of a local restaurant, high above, throwing beach balls with the Canadian Flag emblazoned on them down into the crowd.
One little boy, named Austin, was called upon by his Mother to give up at least a couple of the several balls he had hidden under his oversized sweatshirt. I laughed at him, as I envisioned a little Bobby doing the exact same thing!
A woman called out toward us "Bobby, Bobby!" I mentioned to B that he was being called and when he turned to her, she was a customer that just recently moved to our small island, from Texas. They apparently lost everything down there, to bankruptcy and are starting over. She said to B, "it is nice to see you out having fun and not working all of the time!!"
Maybe a 1/2 hour later, her young girl (age 6 or 7) came up to me and said, "Hello, I just wanted to tell you that you look so lovely tonight!"
I smiled down at her and thanked her. I told her that I was Bobby's girlfriend, Lori, and asked her name. "Jessica", she answered. I said, "Jessica, you also are a beautiful young lady".
(I only get picked up by 99 year old men or 7 year old girls, but still...it counts...right?)
After the fireworks, I asked B the time, and he said, "10:47". I realized that we still had 13 minutes to visit the privately run Wine and Beer store, down the block, and so we did, and we got some nice red wine (red for Canada Day) which we enjoyed. :-)
Six months ago, I lost my other LJ account. I never did anything about it. Tonight, I asked for it back.
My Doctor asked me last Thursday, at my appointment, when I was overcome with so much emotion and shaking, "Lori, are you ever suicidal?"
I answered, "Yes, every day for the past 9 months".
She changed my medication to something therapeutic, which I have taken the past few days. She also referred me to the mental health nurse, and I should have an appointment this week or next.
She said to me, "I pray that you never, ever go off medication again." This disorder has existed in me and is so ingrained since probably pre-puberty. I know it and know that it is the same thing as having diabetes or a thyroid condition (both which I also may have) but I seemed to think that I could treat it with good thoughts and flower essences or what-have-you.
I also have an appointment for a physical...good thing as all I have talked to my Doc about since contacting her4 months ago is the mental stuff. Physically, I am an absolute wreck, but that is always the least of my worries.
The new meds seemed to have lit something in me from within. I not only did all of those things above, that i could not have foreseen doing even a week ago, but by GOD, I am horny! I not only want sex again ( a LOT!) but I dreamed so much about it last night, it was pornographic! (I really should write out that dream...amazing...)
Maybe the old Lori is coming back, finally. Or, perhaps it is a new improved Lori.
*high fives for drugs that reformat the wiring in your brain*
I did not receive a response so I printed it off and deposited it on her doorknob, yesterday, and finally heard back. I have now forwarded it to an email address that she checks more often and look forward to these problems being resolved or us moving on from here.
Yesterday, I left the inside of my home and spent the day outside!! I went to a classic car show (pictures to come when I figure out where the hell they are stored on the internet. B uploaded them at his workplace to my website that comes with my Imagen account, which I have never used?).
We also wandered around the Market (something I did every Sat, for the past few years on a break from work). I got to see many, many people who (as they always did, before) greeted me with enthusiasm and wrapped their arms around me and seemed very pleased to see me.
The best meeting of the day came from Azalea, aged 3 months, brand shiny new and clinging to the shoulder of her Mom, Chantelle (a Quebec transplant to SSI, who goes to India for 6 months a year to buy clothing and then sells it in the market). I didn't ask who the daddy was, but I did whisper into Azalea's ear and told her the exact same thing that I tell every baby I meet..."Stay a baby...don't ever grow up...being a baby is WAY better than being an adult!"
Chantelle smiled and went "awww" and I explained to her, unfortunately, that no baby has ever once listened to me, but I am forever hopeful! :-D
We came home for a few hours and then went out at sunset and saw a beautiful display of fireworks, right on Ganges Harbour. The docks were crowded with people, and my friends, Tim and John (gay couple that own the local video store and just got married under Canada's new marriage laws) were on the balcony of a local restaurant, high above, throwing beach balls with the Canadian Flag emblazoned on them down into the crowd.
One little boy, named Austin, was called upon by his Mother to give up at least a couple of the several balls he had hidden under his oversized sweatshirt. I laughed at him, as I envisioned a little Bobby doing the exact same thing!
A woman called out toward us "Bobby, Bobby!" I mentioned to B that he was being called and when he turned to her, she was a customer that just recently moved to our small island, from Texas. They apparently lost everything down there, to bankruptcy and are starting over. She said to B, "it is nice to see you out having fun and not working all of the time!!"
Maybe a 1/2 hour later, her young girl (age 6 or 7) came up to me and said, "Hello, I just wanted to tell you that you look so lovely tonight!"
I smiled down at her and thanked her. I told her that I was Bobby's girlfriend, Lori, and asked her name. "Jessica", she answered. I said, "Jessica, you also are a beautiful young lady".
(I only get picked up by 99 year old men or 7 year old girls, but still...it counts...right?)
After the fireworks, I asked B the time, and he said, "10:47". I realized that we still had 13 minutes to visit the privately run Wine and Beer store, down the block, and so we did, and we got some nice red wine (red for Canada Day) which we enjoyed. :-)
Six months ago, I lost my other LJ account. I never did anything about it. Tonight, I asked for it back.
My Doctor asked me last Thursday, at my appointment, when I was overcome with so much emotion and shaking, "Lori, are you ever suicidal?"
I answered, "Yes, every day for the past 9 months".
She changed my medication to something therapeutic, which I have taken the past few days. She also referred me to the mental health nurse, and I should have an appointment this week or next.
She said to me, "I pray that you never, ever go off medication again." This disorder has existed in me and is so ingrained since probably pre-puberty. I know it and know that it is the same thing as having diabetes or a thyroid condition (both which I also may have) but I seemed to think that I could treat it with good thoughts and flower essences or what-have-you.
I also have an appointment for a physical...good thing as all I have talked to my Doc about since contacting her4 months ago is the mental stuff. Physically, I am an absolute wreck, but that is always the least of my worries.
The new meds seemed to have lit something in me from within. I not only did all of those things above, that i could not have foreseen doing even a week ago, but by GOD, I am horny! I not only want sex again ( a LOT!) but I dreamed so much about it last night, it was pornographic! (I really should write out that dream...amazing...)
Maybe the old Lori is coming back, finally. Or, perhaps it is a new improved Lori.
*high fives for drugs that reformat the wiring in your brain*