The Love Below - Chapter Eleven
Title: The Love Below
Characters: L/Mello/Near; this chapter is Mello-centric
Rating: M
Word Count: ~4,000
Spoilers: For now, Mello and Near's real names. Possibly others along the way.
Summary: Mello and Near are competing for L's title. Are they also competing for his love?
Author’s Note:
Aah! Don’t hate me! This chapter did take longer than expected, though it was (as usual) due to time constraints that couldn’t be avoided. I know you guys are probably sick to death of my complaints about Real Life, but honestly, it’s just WRONG to be forced to write academic papers when fanfic is calling. DX
But since it’s been so long, here’s a small recap: Last chapter, Mello and L had a little chat about Mello’s desire to screw L into next week feelings and Near overheard, consequently realizing his own attachment to our dear detective.
So that’s Our Story Thus Far. All I really have to say about the following chapter is this: get ready, the competition is heating up. When L is the prize (in more ways than one), you know that Mello and Near will be fighting tooth and nail to win. :)
***
Chapter Eleven - Waging War
“Every body continues in its state of rest, or of uniform motion in a straight line, unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed upon it.”
- Newton's First Law of Motion, translated from the Principia's Latin
Mello was determined not to be depressed.
Or, more accurately, Mello was determined not to be so depressed. He was sad, surely. But he wouldn’t allow himself to sink into that feeling and let it control him. He wouldn’t become an entirely different person. Mello had been down that road before and he knew that it wasn’t fun, not for anyone involved.
Mello thought it was vaguely pathetic that the last time he’d felt this way was L’s fault as well. What kind of power did the man have? How was he able to stir up a hurricane inside Mello this way? Maybe L actually was a superhero, and had some kind of freaky ability to ensnare all who encountered him...Or maybe he really was just as handsome and brilliant and wonderful as Mello had always assumed him to be...
But Mello had to keep himself on track. Enjoyable as they were, fantasies about L wouldn’t get him any closer to the man in the real world.
Considering exactly how L managed to draw people in was useless anyway. L was a mystery wrapped in an enigma, and Mello knew he didn’t have a chance of ever really understanding. Even if Mello could somehow divine the truth of his methods, the end result would be the same.
Mello would still want L. And L would still reject him.
Mello hadn’t given up, though. Oh no. Mello was thick-skinned: he could fight this war, even alongside the one he was already fighting against Near. He could continue his pursuit of L’s heart and body while he pursued the man’s title.
Because when something was important to Mello, he would give all he had for it. And Mello had already decided that L was damn near the top of his list of priorities.
L may have rejected him that day, but that didn’t mean that L would reject him every day. Mello was more than capable of getting what he wanted. He’d proven that time and again, hadn’t he? This was no different.
No matter how long it took, or how much effort Mello would have to expend, L would be his.
That wasn’t to say that winning L would be easy. Mello’s last...discussion...with him had proven that much. Mello had been turning the conversation around over and over in his mind since, looking for any and all ways to turn the situation around. After all of his contemplation, there were certain things that stood out.
The first observation was unpleasant to admit, but Mello knew that it was nothing more than the truth.
It was this: Mello was completely unskilled in the art of seduction.
He had no reason to be skilled, really, at only twelve years of age. What experience did Mello have? His only sexual encounter to date certainly wasn’t one to teach him how to win someone’s heart...And thank goodness that it wasn’t, or Mello might now be bearing a torch for a certain Father Yates. Gross. And even with Mello’s considerable skill in influencing people, he was seriously lacking in an ability to influence people that way.
So Mello needed intensive work on that. He’d just thrown his feelings in L’s face, after all, and expected L to reciprocate. But that wasn’t the way things worked, not with adults. Adults played games, taunted and teased each other. People didn’t just lay their cards on the table and hope for the best. Instead, they strategized. They flirted. L was an adult, albeit a strange one, and he was more than sophisticated. If Mello really wanted him, he would have to rethink his plan of action.
There was also the problem of L’s knowledge of Mello’s history. Mello hadn’t counted on that, and it threw a spanner in the works for sure. L wasn’t likely to let go of that little detail. And since Mello couldn’t change history and couldn’t erase the knowledge of it from L’s mind, he would just have to prove to L that it didn’t matter. That, at least, was a problem easily solved. Mello didn’t stay up at night crying over it. He could talk to people about it calmly. Mello really was past the whole ordeal, and L would come to see that sooner or later. Given enough time, that problem would take care of itself.
If that was the only reason L had refused him, Mello was actually in a good place. A great place. He and L would be together in months.
Sometimes Mello cursed his intelligence. It had saved him many times throughout the years, of course. Of that there was no doubt. And usually Mello was very grateful for God’s gift to him. But sometimes, like right now, Mello wished he’d been born with a brain that was just average. If he had, Mello might have been able to convince himself that L really would be his very soon. His formidable intelligence didn’t let him, though. Mello’s mind told him that it was likely that there were other reasons for L’s rejection.
Things like Mello’s age. Things like L’s position of authority. Things like L’s age, even.
There was the competition to consider as well, and how that would be affected. There was Near, and how he would react. There was Wammy’s House and Roger and the other children. What would happen if they found out? There was the law, for L would be breaking it the second he laid a hand on Mello.
From some small comments and vague references L had made over the years, Mello knew that that last concern really wouldn’t be anything but a minor annoyance in L’s mind. L wasn’t a person to uphold the law when it stood in the way of greater things. And if L ever did get into serious trouble with the authorities, Mello was sure he would have ways to get out of trouble again. The concept of “authorities” was almost meaningless where L was concerned. L was the authority.
But the other problems...they were all painfully apparent.
And what could Mello do about them? He couldn’t make himself older or make L younger. He couldn’t take away L’s status, and wouldn’t want to even if he could. Being L, the letter, was a large part of what made L, the man, the kind of person that he was. Changing that would bring nothing but unhappiness for both of them.
Mello thought it would be possible to hide everything from Wammy’s House, though. Mr. Wammy and Roger and the other children wouldn’t have to know about whatever happened between he and L. How would they find out? Surely L wouldn’t tell, and Mello wasn’t going to breathe a word about the proceedings either. So barring anyone walking in on them in a compromising position...things would be fine.
What Mello couldn’t change, he would just have to accept. Age and circumstance aside, there was still plenty enough left within Mello’s control to make his dreams a reality.
Because at the heart of it, Mello knew he had at least one thing on his side, a key tactical advantage.
L liked him.
Maybe it wasn’t as much as Mello liked him, and maybe it never would be, but it was there. Mello was sure of it. He knew it the same way that he had known exactly who L was years ago, when he’d first spoken to him. There wasn’t anything logical about the idea; it was just a feeling. Something in the way that L spoke to him sometimes...something in his eyes...
The feeling was strong, though, and Mello trusted it. It kept him going.
There was another meeting with L coming up, scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Mello thought it would be terribly awkward, speaking to L after professing his feelings the way he did, but he didn’t have any sort of plan for making things right again. Mello would just have to follow L’s lead on this one.
He hoped that Near wouldn’t pick up on any lingering tension.
***
About five minutes into the meeting, Mello knew that things had gotten weird.
The first clue came when L opened the door.
“Hello, Mello,” L had said, with none of his characteristic geniality. L didn’t sound cold, necessarily. Just...detached.
“Hi, L.” Mello replied. The rest of the afternoon wasn’t looking good.
The second clue came when L moved aside for Mello to come into the office. He raised his hand swiftly as Mello passed, as though to ruffle his hair, but then abruptly dropped it again. Mello’s shoulders sagged at the aborted gesture. L wasn’t comfortable around him anymore.
Now he and L were sitting together in a cagey silence, waiting for Near to make his appearance so things could get started. Mello didn’t know what he could say to make things better. Anything he considered only seemed likely to make things worse between them. There was a clock on the wall that ticked loudly, counting out the long seconds as they passed.
L was completely avoiding eye contact, stacking sugar cubes on his desk with a fierce precision.
He was eighteen cubes high when Near walked in.
“Hi L!” Near said cheerfully. He slipped into the room with more energy than Mello knew he could possess, fairly bouncing on his feet. There was a broad smile on Near’s face, and his eyes fixed on L, shining brightly.
At this greeting, L’s eyes seemed to double in size and his hand slipped. The sugar cube tower fell into a mess in front of him.
Mello couldn’t blame him. What was going on? Near was being so completely...not Near. He was speaking with inflection...smiling...Even now, the grin was still in place. Why?
Near took his seat next to Mello, his attention never leaving L’s face. The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds, then L shook his head slightly and coughed.
It was official. Something here was Not On.
“Today,” L began, still visibly shaken. “I wanted to...talk to you both about L’s position in the world.” He took a sip from his teacup. “I’ve never doubted your ability to decipher clues and solve cases. All that requires is nothing but pure logic and a basic understanding of human nature, after all. But I believe the other aspects of L’s work may remain a mystery to you.”
Mello couldn’t fathom what L meant. L was a detective. What more was there to understand?
“L is famous,” L continued. “He is the foremost detective in every developed country in the world. There is no government head in the Western hemisphere who does not know of his existence, nor one who hasn’t asked for his assistance at least once in the last five years. As such, L’s influence is hard to overestimate. I don’t doubt that L would have the power to start a fully-fledged war if he wanted to, whenever and wherever he chose.”
L said all this with neither pride nor humility. He reeled off the sentences as though he was reading them from a textbook.
“It’s not L’s investigative abilities that make him the figure of justice that he has become. It’s not L’s intelligence. If it were, the candidates for L’s successorship would be considerably greater in number than they are now. No. The thing that makes L’s shoes such difficult ones to fill is this: even in the possession of such extreme power and influence, L must maintain neutrality.”
L took another sip of his tea. Mello remained fixed to his words, and Near the same beside him. These were things that they could only speculate on before, the things behind the computer screens and gothic font. Now they were hearing about the hidden aspects of L’s job, straight from the source.
“The detective L is constantly solicited. I maintain one of my identities solely in order to deal with all of the requests that L receives for help with terrorism and global diseases and political malfeasance, on top of criminal activity. There are huge rewards offered for assistance with these problems, and not all of them are monetary. I won’t deny that I’ve been tempted by some of them in the past...But no matter how attractive the deal, it is imperative that L agree to none of them.
“The detective L must be completely separated from all the governments of the world, working with them only when doing so will aid in an investigation. To do anything else would lead to nothing but disaster. If L were ever to pledge an allegiance to one country, that country would have the means to control him. To control justice itself. Tying L to one side over another would mean the end of L as the world has known him. Ties and alliances lead to liabilities. They lead to loyalties and promises and obligations.
“This meeting won’t involve a challenge or a test. This time, I only want to impress upon you both the serious part that character plays in L’s work. The next L must have the strength to remain neutral. Alliances must be avoided at all costs.”
Mello didn’t know what to make of that. The things that L said did make sense, but the way that L had to function...it seemed so lonely.
“But what if tying yourself to another will stop a crime?” Near spoke up. “Surely there must be situations in which an alliance between L and specific nations would stop criminals. What if L’s cooperation with one country could save a life?”
Well, that was comforting. At least now Mello knew that Near hadn’t completely switched personalities. He still had to challenge ideas that didn’t make sense to him.
“I’ve never yet encountered a situation in which L’s cooperation would be worth the risk to his position.” L said to Near. “It’s not inconceivable that such a situation could someday arise...but the number of lives saved would have to be immense.”
“But how can we refuse to act when even one life hangs in the balance?” Near asked.
Had Near’s voice deepened since Mello had last heard it?
“How could our consciences ever be clear?”
L’s answer was swift and sure. “With the understanding that L as he operates now can save more lives than he could under the control of a national government.”
Near stared at the sugar cubes scattered across L’s desk, obviously in thought. Then he nodded. “I understand.”
“Any more questions?” L asked. He met Mello’s eyes once before quickly looking away again.
Mello’s heart squeezed painfully. He and Near both shook their heads.
L gave a tense half-smile. “Then I believe you’re free to go,” he said.
What happened next stole the breath from Mello’s lungs.
Before Mello even stood up from his chair, Near jumped out of his seat and made his way to L’s side behind his desk. Mello was paying close attention: Near was standing very close.
L turned slowly to look at Near. Whereas Near had a small smile on his lips, L looked downright wary.
“I appreciate your neutrality, L.” Near said.
Then he pressed a hard, fast kiss to L’s cheek.
Near pulled away and darted out of the room without another word, not even pausing to take in L’s dazed expression.
Mello saw red.
***
He caught up to Near in the hallway outside L’s office, still burning with rage.
“Near!” Mello shouted. “Near, you son of a bitch!”
Near raised his eyebrows in a mockery of polite inquiry. “Yes, Mello?” he asked.
“What the hell was that?! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
“You really need to learn the art of understatement, Mello,” Near said. “You show your entire hand with that mouth of yours.”
"How can you say that?” Mello hissed. “You just up and kissed L, and now you're calling yourself the paragon of subtlety?"
"I didn't say that I was always subtle, Mello," said Near, with theatrically forced patience. Mello got the feeling that he was relishing their discussion. "I just said that you never were. There's a difference."
"Near, you...I...argh! How can you do this? You know how I feel about L, I know you do. And for you to just...waltz up to him and kiss him like that! I thought that you had more respect for the competition. I can't believe you're going to try to win like this!"
At Mello's words, Near got a very peculiar gleam in his eyes. Mello thought that it looked almost like a malicious glee. Mello would never admit this, even under the threat of torture and slow, painful death, but he thought that Near's expression was almost...scary.
"Mello," Near finally said. "I don't know whether to laugh or slap you."
What was that supposed to mean?
"I guess my response should depend on your level of seriousness," Near continued. "If you actually think that I would exploit an emotional attachment to L in order to gain his title...well, you're even less qualified to succeed him than I thought."
"Fine," Mello huffed. "If you're not doing it to win, why are you doing it?"
Very quickly, Near's expression turned sullen. "Is there no other conceivable reason why I would approach him?"
Actually, there was. But that would only be reasonable if they were discussing anyone but Near. Near didn't have feelings. Unless feeling superior to everyone around him counted.
"You don't expect me to believe that you..." said Mello. "There's no way you could..."
"Whether you believe me or not is irrelevant. The only opinion that matters is L's. He will see my sincerity, even if you are incapable of doing so."
"But you can't!" Mello cried. "If it were anyone else, it wouldn't matter to me. Go chase one of our classmates. Chase Matt for all I care! But not L! It's bad enough that he won't listen to me. Now you want to start banging down his door as well? No!"
"What are you going to do, Mello? Will you try to stop me? There's nothing you can say that will change L's mind and there's nothing you can do to make me quit."
"Near, you know he won't listen to you. He'll turn you away!"
"Mello, really." This was the closest Mello had ever seen Near come to outright scoffing. "Whatever our differences might be, you and I both know that we have at least one thing in common: we are not the kind of people inclined to give up. You want L, and you'll keep following him until you have him. I want L, and I'll keep following him until I have him. Don't pretend that the whole thing is futile. I know you don't believe it."
"What are you saying, Near? That until L picks one of us, you and I are going to...fight for him?"
Near smiled. "Or you could back down now."
"Never."
"Then there you have it. We have to compete, there's no other way." Near said, his smile diminishing. "I do wonder how bad things will get...the whole thing hasn't been easy so far, even without the two of us fighting for this too. I imagine things will deteriorate quite quickly..."
It was very strange, then. As Near talked, Mello felt the mood in the hallway change. The walls suddenly felt very close, and Mello thought he could foresee exactly what Near was describing.
Mello was usually a very optimistic person. He thought that anyone could get anywhere with enough hard work, and that every person was capable of redemption, and so on. But Mello couldn’t help the unconditionally pessimistic thought that entered his head at that moment.
The war had started. And no matter how things played out, in the end, Mello didn't think anyone would be at peace.
***
Poor Mello, nothing’s ever going his way is it? Not that those circumstances are terribly different from the canon, mind you...But isn’t Near awesome in this chapter? First kiss of the fic, baby. Celebrate. :)
I’m really not sure about when the next update will be. It could be as early as next week, it could take as long as this one did. Everything depends on Mello and Near deciding to cooperate or not (they’re very finicky, you see) and my own stamina. Oh, and a university internship thing I’ll be starting soon. Lots of variables there.
Whatever happens, know that I’m in this for the long haul. This fic won’t be abandoned. At this point in the story, the thought of doing so is actually painful for me, lol.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on Waging War. Tell me if you loved it, tell me if you hated it. Tell me if you just want our boys to screw already. (I wouldn’t blame you if you did.) Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you all next chapter!
Characters: L/Mello/Near; this chapter is Mello-centric
Rating: M
Word Count: ~4,000
Spoilers: For now, Mello and Near's real names. Possibly others along the way.
Summary: Mello and Near are competing for L's title. Are they also competing for his love?
Author’s Note:
Aah! Don’t hate me! This chapter did take longer than expected, though it was (as usual) due to time constraints that couldn’t be avoided. I know you guys are probably sick to death of my complaints about Real Life, but honestly, it’s just WRONG to be forced to write academic papers when fanfic is calling. DX
But since it’s been so long, here’s a small recap: Last chapter, Mello and L had a little chat about Mello’s desire to screw L into next week feelings and Near overheard, consequently realizing his own attachment to our dear detective.
So that’s Our Story Thus Far. All I really have to say about the following chapter is this: get ready, the competition is heating up. When L is the prize (in more ways than one), you know that Mello and Near will be fighting tooth and nail to win. :)
***
Chapter Eleven - Waging War
“Every body continues in its state of rest, or of uniform motion in a straight line, unless it is compelled to change that state by forces impressed upon it.”
- Newton's First Law of Motion, translated from the Principia's Latin
Mello was determined not to be depressed.
Or, more accurately, Mello was determined not to be so depressed. He was sad, surely. But he wouldn’t allow himself to sink into that feeling and let it control him. He wouldn’t become an entirely different person. Mello had been down that road before and he knew that it wasn’t fun, not for anyone involved.
Mello thought it was vaguely pathetic that the last time he’d felt this way was L’s fault as well. What kind of power did the man have? How was he able to stir up a hurricane inside Mello this way? Maybe L actually was a superhero, and had some kind of freaky ability to ensnare all who encountered him...Or maybe he really was just as handsome and brilliant and wonderful as Mello had always assumed him to be...
But Mello had to keep himself on track. Enjoyable as they were, fantasies about L wouldn’t get him any closer to the man in the real world.
Considering exactly how L managed to draw people in was useless anyway. L was a mystery wrapped in an enigma, and Mello knew he didn’t have a chance of ever really understanding. Even if Mello could somehow divine the truth of his methods, the end result would be the same.
Mello would still want L. And L would still reject him.
Mello hadn’t given up, though. Oh no. Mello was thick-skinned: he could fight this war, even alongside the one he was already fighting against Near. He could continue his pursuit of L’s heart and body while he pursued the man’s title.
Because when something was important to Mello, he would give all he had for it. And Mello had already decided that L was damn near the top of his list of priorities.
L may have rejected him that day, but that didn’t mean that L would reject him every day. Mello was more than capable of getting what he wanted. He’d proven that time and again, hadn’t he? This was no different.
No matter how long it took, or how much effort Mello would have to expend, L would be his.
That wasn’t to say that winning L would be easy. Mello’s last...discussion...with him had proven that much. Mello had been turning the conversation around over and over in his mind since, looking for any and all ways to turn the situation around. After all of his contemplation, there were certain things that stood out.
The first observation was unpleasant to admit, but Mello knew that it was nothing more than the truth.
It was this: Mello was completely unskilled in the art of seduction.
He had no reason to be skilled, really, at only twelve years of age. What experience did Mello have? His only sexual encounter to date certainly wasn’t one to teach him how to win someone’s heart...And thank goodness that it wasn’t, or Mello might now be bearing a torch for a certain Father Yates. Gross. And even with Mello’s considerable skill in influencing people, he was seriously lacking in an ability to influence people that way.
So Mello needed intensive work on that. He’d just thrown his feelings in L’s face, after all, and expected L to reciprocate. But that wasn’t the way things worked, not with adults. Adults played games, taunted and teased each other. People didn’t just lay their cards on the table and hope for the best. Instead, they strategized. They flirted. L was an adult, albeit a strange one, and he was more than sophisticated. If Mello really wanted him, he would have to rethink his plan of action.
There was also the problem of L’s knowledge of Mello’s history. Mello hadn’t counted on that, and it threw a spanner in the works for sure. L wasn’t likely to let go of that little detail. And since Mello couldn’t change history and couldn’t erase the knowledge of it from L’s mind, he would just have to prove to L that it didn’t matter. That, at least, was a problem easily solved. Mello didn’t stay up at night crying over it. He could talk to people about it calmly. Mello really was past the whole ordeal, and L would come to see that sooner or later. Given enough time, that problem would take care of itself.
If that was the only reason L had refused him, Mello was actually in a good place. A great place. He and L would be together in months.
Sometimes Mello cursed his intelligence. It had saved him many times throughout the years, of course. Of that there was no doubt. And usually Mello was very grateful for God’s gift to him. But sometimes, like right now, Mello wished he’d been born with a brain that was just average. If he had, Mello might have been able to convince himself that L really would be his very soon. His formidable intelligence didn’t let him, though. Mello’s mind told him that it was likely that there were other reasons for L’s rejection.
Things like Mello’s age. Things like L’s position of authority. Things like L’s age, even.
There was the competition to consider as well, and how that would be affected. There was Near, and how he would react. There was Wammy’s House and Roger and the other children. What would happen if they found out? There was the law, for L would be breaking it the second he laid a hand on Mello.
From some small comments and vague references L had made over the years, Mello knew that that last concern really wouldn’t be anything but a minor annoyance in L’s mind. L wasn’t a person to uphold the law when it stood in the way of greater things. And if L ever did get into serious trouble with the authorities, Mello was sure he would have ways to get out of trouble again. The concept of “authorities” was almost meaningless where L was concerned. L was the authority.
But the other problems...they were all painfully apparent.
And what could Mello do about them? He couldn’t make himself older or make L younger. He couldn’t take away L’s status, and wouldn’t want to even if he could. Being L, the letter, was a large part of what made L, the man, the kind of person that he was. Changing that would bring nothing but unhappiness for both of them.
Mello thought it would be possible to hide everything from Wammy’s House, though. Mr. Wammy and Roger and the other children wouldn’t have to know about whatever happened between he and L. How would they find out? Surely L wouldn’t tell, and Mello wasn’t going to breathe a word about the proceedings either. So barring anyone walking in on them in a compromising position...things would be fine.
What Mello couldn’t change, he would just have to accept. Age and circumstance aside, there was still plenty enough left within Mello’s control to make his dreams a reality.
Because at the heart of it, Mello knew he had at least one thing on his side, a key tactical advantage.
L liked him.
Maybe it wasn’t as much as Mello liked him, and maybe it never would be, but it was there. Mello was sure of it. He knew it the same way that he had known exactly who L was years ago, when he’d first spoken to him. There wasn’t anything logical about the idea; it was just a feeling. Something in the way that L spoke to him sometimes...something in his eyes...
The feeling was strong, though, and Mello trusted it. It kept him going.
There was another meeting with L coming up, scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. Mello thought it would be terribly awkward, speaking to L after professing his feelings the way he did, but he didn’t have any sort of plan for making things right again. Mello would just have to follow L’s lead on this one.
He hoped that Near wouldn’t pick up on any lingering tension.
***
About five minutes into the meeting, Mello knew that things had gotten weird.
The first clue came when L opened the door.
“Hello, Mello,” L had said, with none of his characteristic geniality. L didn’t sound cold, necessarily. Just...detached.
“Hi, L.” Mello replied. The rest of the afternoon wasn’t looking good.
The second clue came when L moved aside for Mello to come into the office. He raised his hand swiftly as Mello passed, as though to ruffle his hair, but then abruptly dropped it again. Mello’s shoulders sagged at the aborted gesture. L wasn’t comfortable around him anymore.
Now he and L were sitting together in a cagey silence, waiting for Near to make his appearance so things could get started. Mello didn’t know what he could say to make things better. Anything he considered only seemed likely to make things worse between them. There was a clock on the wall that ticked loudly, counting out the long seconds as they passed.
L was completely avoiding eye contact, stacking sugar cubes on his desk with a fierce precision.
He was eighteen cubes high when Near walked in.
“Hi L!” Near said cheerfully. He slipped into the room with more energy than Mello knew he could possess, fairly bouncing on his feet. There was a broad smile on Near’s face, and his eyes fixed on L, shining brightly.
At this greeting, L’s eyes seemed to double in size and his hand slipped. The sugar cube tower fell into a mess in front of him.
Mello couldn’t blame him. What was going on? Near was being so completely...not Near. He was speaking with inflection...smiling...Even now, the grin was still in place. Why?
Near took his seat next to Mello, his attention never leaving L’s face. The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds, then L shook his head slightly and coughed.
It was official. Something here was Not On.
“Today,” L began, still visibly shaken. “I wanted to...talk to you both about L’s position in the world.” He took a sip from his teacup. “I’ve never doubted your ability to decipher clues and solve cases. All that requires is nothing but pure logic and a basic understanding of human nature, after all. But I believe the other aspects of L’s work may remain a mystery to you.”
Mello couldn’t fathom what L meant. L was a detective. What more was there to understand?
“L is famous,” L continued. “He is the foremost detective in every developed country in the world. There is no government head in the Western hemisphere who does not know of his existence, nor one who hasn’t asked for his assistance at least once in the last five years. As such, L’s influence is hard to overestimate. I don’t doubt that L would have the power to start a fully-fledged war if he wanted to, whenever and wherever he chose.”
L said all this with neither pride nor humility. He reeled off the sentences as though he was reading them from a textbook.
“It’s not L’s investigative abilities that make him the figure of justice that he has become. It’s not L’s intelligence. If it were, the candidates for L’s successorship would be considerably greater in number than they are now. No. The thing that makes L’s shoes such difficult ones to fill is this: even in the possession of such extreme power and influence, L must maintain neutrality.”
L took another sip of his tea. Mello remained fixed to his words, and Near the same beside him. These were things that they could only speculate on before, the things behind the computer screens and gothic font. Now they were hearing about the hidden aspects of L’s job, straight from the source.
“The detective L is constantly solicited. I maintain one of my identities solely in order to deal with all of the requests that L receives for help with terrorism and global diseases and political malfeasance, on top of criminal activity. There are huge rewards offered for assistance with these problems, and not all of them are monetary. I won’t deny that I’ve been tempted by some of them in the past...But no matter how attractive the deal, it is imperative that L agree to none of them.
“The detective L must be completely separated from all the governments of the world, working with them only when doing so will aid in an investigation. To do anything else would lead to nothing but disaster. If L were ever to pledge an allegiance to one country, that country would have the means to control him. To control justice itself. Tying L to one side over another would mean the end of L as the world has known him. Ties and alliances lead to liabilities. They lead to loyalties and promises and obligations.
“This meeting won’t involve a challenge or a test. This time, I only want to impress upon you both the serious part that character plays in L’s work. The next L must have the strength to remain neutral. Alliances must be avoided at all costs.”
Mello didn’t know what to make of that. The things that L said did make sense, but the way that L had to function...it seemed so lonely.
“But what if tying yourself to another will stop a crime?” Near spoke up. “Surely there must be situations in which an alliance between L and specific nations would stop criminals. What if L’s cooperation with one country could save a life?”
Well, that was comforting. At least now Mello knew that Near hadn’t completely switched personalities. He still had to challenge ideas that didn’t make sense to him.
“I’ve never yet encountered a situation in which L’s cooperation would be worth the risk to his position.” L said to Near. “It’s not inconceivable that such a situation could someday arise...but the number of lives saved would have to be immense.”
“But how can we refuse to act when even one life hangs in the balance?” Near asked.
Had Near’s voice deepened since Mello had last heard it?
“How could our consciences ever be clear?”
L’s answer was swift and sure. “With the understanding that L as he operates now can save more lives than he could under the control of a national government.”
Near stared at the sugar cubes scattered across L’s desk, obviously in thought. Then he nodded. “I understand.”
“Any more questions?” L asked. He met Mello’s eyes once before quickly looking away again.
Mello’s heart squeezed painfully. He and Near both shook their heads.
L gave a tense half-smile. “Then I believe you’re free to go,” he said.
What happened next stole the breath from Mello’s lungs.
Before Mello even stood up from his chair, Near jumped out of his seat and made his way to L’s side behind his desk. Mello was paying close attention: Near was standing very close.
L turned slowly to look at Near. Whereas Near had a small smile on his lips, L looked downright wary.
“I appreciate your neutrality, L.” Near said.
Then he pressed a hard, fast kiss to L’s cheek.
Near pulled away and darted out of the room without another word, not even pausing to take in L’s dazed expression.
Mello saw red.
***
He caught up to Near in the hallway outside L’s office, still burning with rage.
“Near!” Mello shouted. “Near, you son of a bitch!”
Near raised his eyebrows in a mockery of polite inquiry. “Yes, Mello?” he asked.
“What the hell was that?! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”
“You really need to learn the art of understatement, Mello,” Near said. “You show your entire hand with that mouth of yours.”
"How can you say that?” Mello hissed. “You just up and kissed L, and now you're calling yourself the paragon of subtlety?"
"I didn't say that I was always subtle, Mello," said Near, with theatrically forced patience. Mello got the feeling that he was relishing their discussion. "I just said that you never were. There's a difference."
"Near, you...I...argh! How can you do this? You know how I feel about L, I know you do. And for you to just...waltz up to him and kiss him like that! I thought that you had more respect for the competition. I can't believe you're going to try to win like this!"
At Mello's words, Near got a very peculiar gleam in his eyes. Mello thought that it looked almost like a malicious glee. Mello would never admit this, even under the threat of torture and slow, painful death, but he thought that Near's expression was almost...scary.
"Mello," Near finally said. "I don't know whether to laugh or slap you."
What was that supposed to mean?
"I guess my response should depend on your level of seriousness," Near continued. "If you actually think that I would exploit an emotional attachment to L in order to gain his title...well, you're even less qualified to succeed him than I thought."
"Fine," Mello huffed. "If you're not doing it to win, why are you doing it?"
Very quickly, Near's expression turned sullen. "Is there no other conceivable reason why I would approach him?"
Actually, there was. But that would only be reasonable if they were discussing anyone but Near. Near didn't have feelings. Unless feeling superior to everyone around him counted.
"You don't expect me to believe that you..." said Mello. "There's no way you could..."
"Whether you believe me or not is irrelevant. The only opinion that matters is L's. He will see my sincerity, even if you are incapable of doing so."
"But you can't!" Mello cried. "If it were anyone else, it wouldn't matter to me. Go chase one of our classmates. Chase Matt for all I care! But not L! It's bad enough that he won't listen to me. Now you want to start banging down his door as well? No!"
"What are you going to do, Mello? Will you try to stop me? There's nothing you can say that will change L's mind and there's nothing you can do to make me quit."
"Near, you know he won't listen to you. He'll turn you away!"
"Mello, really." This was the closest Mello had ever seen Near come to outright scoffing. "Whatever our differences might be, you and I both know that we have at least one thing in common: we are not the kind of people inclined to give up. You want L, and you'll keep following him until you have him. I want L, and I'll keep following him until I have him. Don't pretend that the whole thing is futile. I know you don't believe it."
"What are you saying, Near? That until L picks one of us, you and I are going to...fight for him?"
Near smiled. "Or you could back down now."
"Never."
"Then there you have it. We have to compete, there's no other way." Near said, his smile diminishing. "I do wonder how bad things will get...the whole thing hasn't been easy so far, even without the two of us fighting for this too. I imagine things will deteriorate quite quickly..."
It was very strange, then. As Near talked, Mello felt the mood in the hallway change. The walls suddenly felt very close, and Mello thought he could foresee exactly what Near was describing.
Mello was usually a very optimistic person. He thought that anyone could get anywhere with enough hard work, and that every person was capable of redemption, and so on. But Mello couldn’t help the unconditionally pessimistic thought that entered his head at that moment.
The war had started. And no matter how things played out, in the end, Mello didn't think anyone would be at peace.
***
Poor Mello, nothing’s ever going his way is it? Not that those circumstances are terribly different from the canon, mind you...But isn’t Near awesome in this chapter? First kiss of the fic, baby. Celebrate. :)
I’m really not sure about when the next update will be. It could be as early as next week, it could take as long as this one did. Everything depends on Mello and Near deciding to cooperate or not (they’re very finicky, you see) and my own stamina. Oh, and a university internship thing I’ll be starting soon. Lots of variables there.
Whatever happens, know that I’m in this for the long haul. This fic won’t be abandoned. At this point in the story, the thought of doing so is actually painful for me, lol.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on Waging War. Tell me if you loved it, tell me if you hated it. Tell me if you just want our boys to screw already. (I wouldn’t blame you if you did.) Thanks for reading, and I’ll see you all next chapter!