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[magic_8balls]

Eh, I do not know how to say this right, but... uh. Some things are gone missing. I don't know why this thing has happened, but... Oh god, I do not want to talk about it.

Oh my god, what is going on.

I will have to change my name.

Comments

[capt_margaret]

What the devil are you talking about? Spider, are you in any sort of trouble? Because, you know, it is not always in my power to aid you.

[magic_8balls]

Eh, no, I do not think you could help me with this one, Rudi. I... huh.

all but one of my cocks has gone away

Agh, god, I cannot say it!

[capt_margaret]

Goodness, can this mean that the beast is at last, tamed? What do I always tell you, hm? What goes around comes around!

[magic_8balls]

I am not tamed! Spider Dijon cannot be tamed! But... if I am not Spider anymore, maybe I am? I do not know what is going on!

[capt_margaret]

Fear not, Dijon. Though this catastrophe has shook you to your foundations, I believe you will survive. Out of all this you can perhaps see the error in your amorous ways, and learn to fornicate in reasonable moderation.

As for your name-change, you are always telling me you are a lion, though I still see you more as an Ox.

[magic_8balls]

But that is all that is fun about life! Naboo has no more drugs and now I cannot do what I do best, what is the point! Ah, I don't know, maybe you are right. I don't know what is sky and ground anymore. (If we are being honest, they did kinda get in the way most of the time. Maybe this can be a good thing? Eh, now I am just being loco.)

Yes! I can be Lion! But... I cannot pounce, the ladies will laugh when they see me only the eighth part of a man! Bah, thank you, Rudi, but I think I must think of this on my own.

[capt_margaret]

Remember well, Spider, you are not in Spain or Mexico any longer. These English women will not think any less of you if you do pounce them with only an eighth part of a man, in fact they expect nothing more than that.

What am I saying? I should not be encouraging you!

[magic_8balls]

Ha HA, that is true! They do not know any better than to expect normal things! I can pretend to be normal and they will not know the difference! Ah, you are a good friend, Rudi Van Disarzio. Even if you try not to be.

[capt_margaret]

I cannot believe it. You have actually listened to me for the first time in your life, and it was probably the worst piece of advice I could ever have given you.

This is a most grievous circumstance.

[magic_8balls]

What are you on about, it was good advice! I will think of you when I am at this party coming up. Eh, no, not that, but something like it, anyway!

[capt_margaret]

...

I am going back to my room.

[magic_8balls]

What? Do not do that again! Why on the earth would you do that?