(no subject)
i got what i wanted but i don't feel good about it
i won
but i don't feel there's a winner
there's not supposed to be a winner
i wasn't waiting around for you to end things with andrea
i was just waiting for you to be you again
and you're not you yet
i changed how i talk
and that's the distance
and that's the comfort of boundaries
from the intensity
but i think i felt more sitting next to you than kissing you
because i wasn't ready
i'm not back yet
i'm not in this
i'm not sure of it
I was so sure i wasn't going to kiss you
but i wanted to
that's ok
i just think i need some time
because i got what i wanted
but i'm not sure it's how i wanted it
i didn't think it would happen so soon
and i talked myself out of wanting it
and i realised i was so much less stressed for not having wanted it
but still my mind said
kamla, kamla, kamla
i told you i was obsessed with you
but i'm not sure how much you understood
or how seroiusly you took it
i'm not sure you understand me
am i just pushing you away
i'm concerned about the way it happened
I don't trust it
and im not sure what to do with that
what do you want?
i think we need to have a big conversation
and i'm crying just thinking about that
and i got how i wanted
but it didn't feel how i expected
and i don't know what to do about that
i think it effected me a lot more than i wanted it to
not more than i expected
but i feel like im holding onto something
that hasn't really happened yet
like maybe youll get back together with her.