Why Martin and I are Creative Geniuses
HAHAHAHAHAHA OKAY so funny because I talked to Martin on the phone today for a while because he wanted to tell me about a dish he saw on Bravo's new show, Top Chef. He knows I like Project Runway... it's by the same people... ANYWAY:
Not the food itself -- which is almost surely greasy and over-salted -- but the actual NAME of the entree, is: "Beef-stuffed Eggplant and New Potato Parcels."
Why is that name so great? I'll tell you why:
1.) "Beef-stuffed" has a hilarious number of "f"s in a row.
2.) "Beef-stuffed" would be a funny addition to almost any sentence, in almost any context. Examples: "The Twin Towers have been destroyed by beef-stuffed airplanes." "The United Nations Security Council authorized use of force against Iran due to the country's inistence upon restarting its beef-stuffed nuclear energy program."
3.) I have no idea what a "New Potato Parcel" looks like, but I have this cute image in my head of a little tuber wrapped neatly in gift paper and ribbon.
4.) The entree's name is pleasingly rhythmic. It practically begged Martin and I to create a folksy lyric in its honor. Which we did:
(set to sprightly "turkey in the straw"-esque fiddlin')
Beef-Stuffed Eggplant
An' New Potato Parcels
Them's some tasty
Funny-sounding marsels*
Eat 'em in the corn field,
Mighty fine to savor
Eggplant goodness;
Beef-stuffed flavor.
You may think you've
Had yerself some taters
Taste these spuds and
Tell me 'bout 'em later
Here's the words I
Reckon you will holler:
"New Potato Parcels' worth
A hunner'd thousand dollars!"
Then, I wager
It won't be a minute
'Fore you start your
Truck and get up in it
Drive downtown to
Ensure your local bar sells
Beef-stuffed Eggplant
And New Potato Parcels!
*i.e. "morsels"
YOU MAY ALSO RECALL a certain Maggie and Martin classic, the Russian girl song, which I feel the need to post on this journal, because it's only on my old one. I think this one is probably the funniest Martin and Maggie song of all time. It also took the shortest amount of time, which is lucky.
If only I had a Russian girl
for sure she'd speak Russian
the waiter would say would you like Russian dressing
she would say da
da means yes
but it means yes, in Russian.
We would meet on the internet
through some exclusive agency
she would ask me to send her rubles
'cause that's her currency
then we'd eat borscht
as we watched Rocky 4
but she would root for Drago
Yeah, my friends are all sayin I'd be a fool to rush in
I'd say that's the whole point
this girl is Russian
gonna put a ring on her finger yeah
it'll be a soviet union
If she got sick she'd have a Barishna-cough - da!
She would then cook for me and be my Gorba-chef - da!
I would buy her a car that obviously had Cruise-chev control - da!
We'd only drink vodka
the good kind like popoff
and for special occaisions
we'd bust out the smirnoff
George Bush would deport her as a spy
she'd be gone, and I'd be alone
but somehow I think I'd be Sergei Better-off without her.
Yeah, my friends are all sayin I'd be a fool to rush in
I'd say that's the whole point
this girl is Russian!
gonna put a ring on her finger da,
I'll say this is for you, Svetlana,
we'll have a soviet union.
More to come, for certain. HAHAHAHA. I'm still laughing. And no one is going to think this is as funny as I do.
Not the food itself -- which is almost surely greasy and over-salted -- but the actual NAME of the entree, is: "Beef-stuffed Eggplant and New Potato Parcels."
Why is that name so great? I'll tell you why:
1.) "Beef-stuffed" has a hilarious number of "f"s in a row.
2.) "Beef-stuffed" would be a funny addition to almost any sentence, in almost any context. Examples: "The Twin Towers have been destroyed by beef-stuffed airplanes." "The United Nations Security Council authorized use of force against Iran due to the country's inistence upon restarting its beef-stuffed nuclear energy program."
3.) I have no idea what a "New Potato Parcel" looks like, but I have this cute image in my head of a little tuber wrapped neatly in gift paper and ribbon.
4.) The entree's name is pleasingly rhythmic. It practically begged Martin and I to create a folksy lyric in its honor. Which we did:
(set to sprightly "turkey in the straw"-esque fiddlin')
Beef-Stuffed Eggplant
An' New Potato Parcels
Them's some tasty
Funny-sounding marsels*
Eat 'em in the corn field,
Mighty fine to savor
Eggplant goodness;
Beef-stuffed flavor.
You may think you've
Had yerself some taters
Taste these spuds and
Tell me 'bout 'em later
Here's the words I
Reckon you will holler:
"New Potato Parcels' worth
A hunner'd thousand dollars!"
Then, I wager
It won't be a minute
'Fore you start your
Truck and get up in it
Drive downtown to
Ensure your local bar sells
Beef-stuffed Eggplant
And New Potato Parcels!
*i.e. "morsels"
YOU MAY ALSO RECALL a certain Maggie and Martin classic, the Russian girl song, which I feel the need to post on this journal, because it's only on my old one. I think this one is probably the funniest Martin and Maggie song of all time. It also took the shortest amount of time, which is lucky.
If only I had a Russian girl
for sure she'd speak Russian
the waiter would say would you like Russian dressing
she would say da
da means yes
but it means yes, in Russian.
We would meet on the internet
through some exclusive agency
she would ask me to send her rubles
'cause that's her currency
then we'd eat borscht
as we watched Rocky 4
but she would root for Drago
Yeah, my friends are all sayin I'd be a fool to rush in
I'd say that's the whole point
this girl is Russian
gonna put a ring on her finger yeah
it'll be a soviet union
If she got sick she'd have a Barishna-cough - da!
She would then cook for me and be my Gorba-chef - da!
I would buy her a car that obviously had Cruise-chev control - da!
We'd only drink vodka
the good kind like popoff
and for special occaisions
we'd bust out the smirnoff
George Bush would deport her as a spy
she'd be gone, and I'd be alone
but somehow I think I'd be Sergei Better-off without her.
Yeah, my friends are all sayin I'd be a fool to rush in
I'd say that's the whole point
this girl is Russian!
gonna put a ring on her finger da,
I'll say this is for you, Svetlana,
we'll have a soviet union.
More to come, for certain. HAHAHAHA. I'm still laughing. And no one is going to think this is as funny as I do.