Hahaha Hey guys!

Jan 25, 2011 13:25

Sorry to leave y'all in the lurch. Giving birth kinda wipes you out for awhile. It's been, what, a week now, and I'm just barely getting enough energy to hold up a laptop while I sit in bed. Hum.

Anyway. HE'S HERE!

Morphberry was born Tuesday, January 18, just before 5 pm. 8 lbs, 14.2 oz, which is just one oz lighter than his papa was when he was born.

I did end up being induced, which kinda sucked, but honestly was better for both of us in the end. My blood pressure kept spiking and it was getting hard for him to stay in the womb.

Also, I got an epidural. It was almost ordered on me for medical reasons. I'm glad I got it though. After a couple hours of nasty contractions I couldn't breathe through and being told that for all that I hadn't dilated in the slightest (which is kind of the purpose of the contractions, btw), AND being told that because I was under such stress I was stressing my baby who was beginning to have problems, it just seemed like the right way to go. I was terrified, I'll tell you. It isn't just needles that I dislike, it's the idea of something sticking into my body where it isn't supposed to be. Don't get me started on the IV they put IN MY WRIST of all places... ugh! I was worried that just knowing there was a small tube sticking out of the middle of my back would be enough to send me into a hyperventilating conniption fit- and that wouldn't really solve the problem at all. Really though. Getting it in was the worst part. My dear, wonderful husband stood in front of me and let me bury my face in his tummy with my hands making fists holding on to the fabric of his sweat pants' pockets. This lead to a funny situation later when, while feeling the nasty little tube go in to my spine I tensed up my arms and wound up basically pantsing him in front of all the nurses and doctors. After his somewhat startled exclamation, I had just enough energy in me to snark, "Well, it's only fair, since the entire world gets to see my bare butt. Now they get to see yours, too."

Once in, though, the epidural was really nice. I was able to get some drug induced sleep, so it wasn't really quality, but sometimes quantity will do in a pinch. Also, it made it so every time the doctor or nurses decided to fiddle with one of the many tubes they'd stuck up in the unspeakable area (yeah, I felt like the unwilling star of a weird Japanese porno sometimes. ¬.¬) or just cram their hand in to see how things were progressing (usually followed by a line like, "Six centimeters, good job!") I didn't feel the need to scream and then wish to murder them. So. Epidurals are good things. 8Db

The blood pressure arm cuff they used became my nemesis. It was this automatic deal, so the nurse strapped it on and then basically forgot about it. Which would have been fine. Except for the fact that I swear the thing wanted to cut my arm off. Inevitably, it would always try to take my pressure during the height of a contraction, too. OR! Best yet. At the height of a contraction while the anesthesiologist is performing the part where he actually tells you, "Now, this part will hurt a little," which if you know doctor speak, translates to "This is gonna hurt like Hell but you'll live, wuss." Yeah... I made the nurses take the dang thing off of me until we'd gotten the epidural in and the contractions legitimately did just feel like a bit of pressure.

Oh! And I realized something about myself. I perceive heavy "pressure" as "pain". I realized this when there were contractions that didn't really take my breath away, (before the epidural, mind) and that didn't really sting or hurt, but still gave me pain. It explains SO MUCH. Like why to me, a nice deep relaxing massage actually hurts and makes me tense up worse (I require gentle back rubs, not legit massaging). Anyway. We'll see if we can use this to my benefit at some future point in time. Heh.

Oddly, I liked the pushing part. It hurt, for sure. But after a whole day of laying in that dumb hospital bed, my nemesis the blood pressure cuff trying to sever my arm every hour or so and having to keep my IV wrist bent forward to keep the drip flowing (more annoying than it sounds), and trying to sleep with an oxygen mask over my face, I was ready to DO something, to take a consciously active role in the birth of my child. Doc thought I'd be pushing for about 2 hours. SOOO~ of course when I had managed to get Morphberry almost crowned by a half an hour later, he wasn't quite ready for it, and I had to sit there through 3 contractions trying hard NOT to push. 15 minutes it took him to get back to the Maternity ward. I felt like cussing, since I'd been told "He's with another patient upstairs," which is where his practice is. I was going "Man, if I were the woman upstairs just getting a checkup I'd tell him to go deliver the dang baby."

Turns out he was actually doing a biopsy. So I forgave him. Also, after the baby was born and the placenta was out, he kinda pushed his hand on my belly a couple times, then put his hands just under my ribs and, like a guy who just won a huge hand at poker takes and slides the piles of chips toward himself, just squished all this stuff out of me and it felt absolutely fantastic. I don't know what it was. I really don't want to know. It just felt good to have it out, and doc became one of my favorite people in the world at that moment.

Of course, the absolute best was a little bit after the birth (I thought it would get better once the head was out. Ha! Shoulders suck, too, btw. But it doesn't last long and there's only time to just sort of yelp in pain before it's done) when someone laid this big napkin on my chest and gently plopped this wiggly, gooey, purple, screaming, bug-eyed thing with a weird shaped head on it. All I could think is "He's so WARM!" and want to hug him in spite of the slime the nurses were frantically trying to clear off with towels. I heard them talk my husband through cutting the umbilical cord but I didn't see it, myself. I was just sort of transfixed on Morphberry's face. He has the cutest little parrot mouth (which he got from Husby) and a little round nose (mine!). Still can't figure out whose eyes he has, but in the hospital, they looked like he'd gotten them from E.T. There was a distinct ridge across the middle of his head where the plates of his skull had compressed in order to let him pass through the birth canal, and I just couldn't stop staring at it. It's gone now, though, which is a good thing. They did eventually let me hold him skin to skin and attempt our first breast feeding (which I felt went pretty dang good, in spite of later frustrations in that department). I had to be stitched up first, though. Apparently I was tearing before Morphberry even started crowning, and I ripped a vein. Oops. I'm sure it didn't help that after the baby was finally out my body just started shaking and I couldn't stop. Doc says it's adrenaline. Whatever the case, it didn't seem to bother him while he stitched me up. I felt kinda weird about it, though. Of all the things to feel weird about, I choose involuntary shaking? Ffffff. Yeah.

Anyway. Have some pictures. Please be respectful and not use them without permission, ok? I feel I ought to throw that out there just because there does happen to be a release form from the photographer. That's for my family's use, if they want prints. Everyone else gets to ask, a'ight? Thanks. ^_^

Ok. I'm exhausted, and Morphberry is waking up a little bit maybe, which means it's CUDDLE TIME oh yeah! :3

ihasababyomg!!!, morphberry

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