today
the dark clouds started to blow away and the sun came out. i went out to smoke one of my last, then i got the mail. the mail kind of trainwrecked my mood. i tried to make the best of the day, but did not accomplish much apart from way too much thinking. gave in and took a nap, woke up for my show...got the call near the end.
he doesn't want to be a couple, he thinks i do, therefore we should no longer pounce.
he wasn't wrong. and he was very gentle. and we have the same plans saturday night so his timing was designed to have me adjust expectations, not to add to an already crappy day. we spoke for nearly an hour before he brought it up, and at least 20 minutes after. we still really like each other, he was upfront and extremely gentle. we started out aiming for casual, i just wound up liking him an awful lot. it's not how i wanted it to go, but i understand it and appreciate that he had the foresight to be proactive.
the thing that tipped the scales was easter dinner. my folks asked me to ask him to come, i did... it's a little bizarre. easter sunday a couple years back is when it started to unravel with dan. this, though, went very very differently. i'm disappointed, but i get it. and he still wants me in his life. he doesn't want to hurt me. and he didn't want to just disappear.
and i really don't want to talk about it. but i also know i can't keep it inside. maybe later when he is finished disentangling from his ex. maybe not. i will be ok.
he doesn't want to be a couple, he thinks i do, therefore we should no longer pounce.
he wasn't wrong. and he was very gentle. and we have the same plans saturday night so his timing was designed to have me adjust expectations, not to add to an already crappy day. we spoke for nearly an hour before he brought it up, and at least 20 minutes after. we still really like each other, he was upfront and extremely gentle. we started out aiming for casual, i just wound up liking him an awful lot. it's not how i wanted it to go, but i understand it and appreciate that he had the foresight to be proactive.
the thing that tipped the scales was easter dinner. my folks asked me to ask him to come, i did... it's a little bizarre. easter sunday a couple years back is when it started to unravel with dan. this, though, went very very differently. i'm disappointed, but i get it. and he still wants me in his life. he doesn't want to hurt me. and he didn't want to just disappear.
and i really don't want to talk about it. but i also know i can't keep it inside. maybe later when he is finished disentangling from his ex. maybe not. i will be ok.