(no subject)
im never letting anyone get close to me again. im never letting anyone in. i cant beleive what he did. i dont know why... he said he loved me. we always talked about how we wanted to be together forever. i guess that was all a lie. maybe some way of trying to get down my pants. i cant beleive he threw away what we had. it hurts so bad. everything hurts so bad. i really though he loved me. well i know i loved him. i still do. im a fucking retard...b/c part of me is still wanting to hold out untill maybe he can pull his head out of his ass and get his shit together. and then things can go back to the way they were. like those few days that we had... those were the best days of my life. everything was perfect. and he threw it all away. like it was nothing. so was it nothing? b/c it was everything to me. but he doesnt give a shit about me...about how fucking awful i feel. theres nothing that even comes close to describing it. so i guess i should quit hoping that things will be great again. b/c everything just gets worse. it could have been different. if he hadnt done that...everything could have been different. it could have been perfect. i cant stop thinking about laying in his bed w/ him pressed against me so close...and his arms around me. i just cant stop. and now i cant stop crying. i dont think i will ever be able to move on from this. i just had so much...for such a little time...and now...i have this...